deep chrome canyons

Moving Again ...

2008-09-21T16:14:00.003-04:00

Not me, just the blog. I decided to move the blog over to Wordpress, for two reasons. You can decide which one was more important:

1. It used to cost money, now it is free.
2. I just got an iPhone, and they have a great iPhone app that lets you post directly from the phone, and I couldn't pass up the oppportunity to use it.

Here's a hint. It was reason #2.

From now on, come visit me here. Thanks!

Vince Young Is Still the Wind Beneath My Wings

2008-09-17T16:12:00.006-04:00

(I might be abandoning the "song lyric for every post title" format. This a test.)

I was going to write something after Tom Brady's injury about how now we're going to find out if Bill Belicheck's coaching genius had more to do with Brady's on-field excellence, or if he really was a great coaching mind, and compare that to the situation in Austin with offensive coordinator Greg Davis, who everybody seemed to think was some sort of offensive genius himself, despite the fact that right around the time everybody (everybody but me, that is) was saying this, he was fortunate to have Vincent Paul Young, Jr., running the show and singlehandedly (SINGLEHANDEDLY!) winning games. Not just games. Rose Bowls. Not just Rose Bowls. National Championship Rose Bowls. Not just National Championship Rose Bowls. National Championship Rose Bowls against a team who had won 34 straight games and two national championships. Singlehandedly winning those games and beating those teams. Maybe that had something to do with Greg Davis's success. Maybe.

Anyway, in light of what is going on with VY right now, maybe that's all I'm going to say about it, and just remind everyone that he might not be the sharpest pencil in the drawer, but he's not an investment banker. He's a football player. And if he is battling some sort of depression, I feel for the guy. You never want to know that your heroes are fallible, but they are. It's tough for him that he has to go through this under the microscope, though, because he probably just needs to chill out a bit and have some attention deflected elsewhere, but it doesn't seem like that is going to happen anytime soon.

Get better, big guy.

I probably could have expanded on that quite a bit, but I just didn't feel like it. But, I needed to write something, since it's been a long time since my last post. So, just for the hell of it, and because I'm a bit lazy, I'm going to throw another list out there.

The Ten Worst Songs on My iPod (in no particular order):
1. One Week, Barenaked Ladies. This song was evidently written on a dare. That's the only explanation. That, or they tried to see if they could cram twice as many words into a song as a song should have. I have no idea how this song was ever popular. To steal a line from Micah, this song is Tucking Ferrible.

2. Stiff Upper Lip, AC/DC. I like AC/DC. They rock, man. Just about everything they touch turns to rock. This song is awful. I don't know how else I can say it.

3. Peacemaker, Cowboy Mouth. The last song on what is by default their best album (since more than 3 of the songs are listenable). This song is such a steaming piece of crap. I think it's about a former cop, who may or may not be the father in law of the singer, who doesn't know what to do with himself now that he is retired. Riveting stuff.

4. High-Fiving MF, Local H. The lyrics of this song are as follows: "You high-fiving motherf*cker. You high-fiving motherf*cker. You high-fiving motherf*cker. You high-fiving motherf*cker." Who am I kidding, this song is awesome.

5. Walking Song, Meredith Monk. This song is on the soundtrack to the Big Lebowski, and seems to consist solely of some woman breathing heavily and whispering jibberish. If I'm wrong on that, somebody correct me. Listening to more than 45 seconds of it makes me want to smash something.

6. This Is the Time, Billy Joel. Trust me. This song is worse than Stevie Wonder's "I Just Called to Say I Love You," which is somehow not on my iPod.

7. Window of My World, Guided By Voices. This is another prime example of a horrible, horrible song by a great, hard-rocking band. Robert Pollard has put out something like 7,500 songs, though, so one or two of them are bound to suck.

8. Extraordinary, Better Than Ezra. See: One Week, Barenaked Ladies. These songs are basically interchangeable for me, in that I hate them both equally, however this has the added negative of being from one of my favorite bands, which makes me feel a little embarassed about admitting that I'm a fan. The other reason I'm embarassed to admit I'm a fan is that they haven't had a legitimate hit song in over a decade, and that was their only one. I have seen them more times than I can count (or remember, to put it more accurately), though, and they put on one hell of a show. So, you know what? I'm not embarassed. Say it loud. I like Better Than Ezra.

9. Taper Jean Girl/Pistol of Fire/Slow Night, So Long (tie), Kings of Leon. This band is a suckfest. I only have these three songs on my iPod because they are part of other compilations, and I didn't want to break up the continuity. However, make no mistake, this band is awful. Take the singer from Rusted Root and get him stone drunk to the point he can't stand up straight, then shove a few handfuls of cotton balls into his mouth, then ask him to sing, and I'd rather listen to that than to Kings of Leon. I don't know if I have been more disappointed by a band in my entire life.

10. Fishing in the Dark, The Nitty Gritty Dirt Band. Oh. My. God. My family LOVES this song, and I can't understand why. The lyrics are so bad they are like a caricature of a song. It's like they wrote a song and said, "Ok, now let's make this song at least 90 times worse that it is now." Absolutely horrible.

Bonus: Rock On, Michael Damian (remake). The original version of this song is pretty badass, by early 1970s standards. Then this soap opera star remade it for the Dream A Little Dream sountrack, and it was shot to hell. As if that wasn't bad enough, in 2006, it was remade again by Def Leppard. I rest my case.

I Don't Mind Stealing Bread From the Mouths of Decadence

2008-09-01T21:04:00.005-04:00

(Temple of the Dog, Hunger Strike)

What a weekend.

Friday night, Amanda and I went to Fogo de Chao for David's birthday. That place is amazing! A bit more expensive than I'm used to, but I probably ate my money's worth.

Saturday I got to visit with a good friend who was in town to see her family, and meet her adorable 10-month old son. Later that afternoon our friend Neola came in to visit us, and we had dinner at One Midtown Kitchen, where I enjoyed the calamari appetizer, steak frites, and a warm chocolate truffle cake with a scoop of mint chocolate ice cream for dessert, all for $25 thanks to Restaurant Week.

Yesterday we decided to get out and walk off some of what we ate the night before, so we cruised over to the midtown Obama campaign office and picked up some voter registration materials, then went down to the Grant Park Festival and walked around for two hours or so, getting people to register to vote. It was pretty fun (though we really weren't there for a very long time), and it was kind of exciting to get involved and participate in some of the efforts on Obama's behalf. Then last night we cooked dinner at home (chicken with pineapple and rice) and watched Be Kind Rewind, which was pretty weird, but also pretty funny.

Today I cooked buckweat pancakes with strawberry maple syrup and some turkey sausage for breakfast, and we took Neola over to Decatur and walked around for a bit, then picked up a few things at the Dekalb Farmer's Market on the way home for dinner (my signature chicken with spicy tomato chutney, with rice and curry cauliflower). Right now I'm watching the Tennessee/UCLA game, and then we're probably going to pop in a movie.

I have to say I'm exhausted, and I think that's mainly from eating. I think I'm still tired from eating dinner on Friday night. Seriously, if you have some cash to drop, and a stomach whose boundaries you really want to test, then head to Fogo de Chao. And don't fill up on bread (or even eat any at all).

I Don't Care If You Hurt Me Some More, I Don't Care If You Even the Score

2008-08-24T23:25:00.007-04:00

(The Cars, You're All I've Got Tonight)

I'm up doing a little work tonight, and taking a little break to nurse an upset stomach, so I figured I'd check in with my loyal readership. Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad.

I had my second of three fantasy football drafts tonight, and it struck me that I should probably update everybody out there on who I drafted. I'm not sure why, it just seems like the right thing to do. And since I never posted my team from the first draft, I'll go ahead and list them both now, and probably update the third team sometime after it is drafted. We'll call tonight's draft "Team Two" and the draft from two weeks ago "Team One." Clever, I know.

Team One: (starters in bold)
QB Tomy Romo (DAL)
RB Steven Jackson (STL)
RB Maurice Jones-Drew (JAX)
WR Santonio Holmes (PIT)
WR Roy Williams (DET) (hookem)
WR Wes Welker (NE)
K Nate Kaeding (SD)
DEF Indianapolis Colts
RB Matt Forte (CHI)
RB Jonathan Stewart (CAR)
WR Anthony Gonzalez (IND)
QB Matt Ryan (ATL)
WR Donald Driver (GB)
TE Alge Crumpler (TEN)
WR DJ Hackett (CAR)
RB Mike Hart (IND)

Team Two: (starters in bold)
QB Tom Brady (NE)
RB Maurice Jones-Drew (JAX)
RB Matt Forte (CHI)
WR Calvin Johnson (DET)
WR Santonio Holmes (PIT)
WR Anquan Boldin (ARI)
TE Owen Daniels (HOU)
K Phil Dawson (CLE) (hookem)
DEF Jacksonville Jaguars
QB Matt Ryan (ATL)
RB Ricky Williams (MIA) (hookem)
RB DeAngelo Williams (CAR)
WR DJ Hackett (CAR)
WR Kevin Walter (HOU)

One thing I notice is that there are a few similarities between the two teams, notably MoJo Drew, Santonio Holmes, Matt Ryan and DJ Hackett. Another thing I notice is that for some of my players on team one, I also have their counterpart on team two, such as Stewart and Williams (RBs for Carolina), and Johnson and Williams (WRs for Detroit). Hopefully that won't come back to haunt me.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to try not to be sick.

New Car, Caviar, Four-Star Daydream, Think I'll Buy Me a Football Team

2008-08-21T15:25:00.006-04:00

(Pink Floyd, Money)

/exhale

Thank you, St. Louis Rams, from the bottom of my wallet. Steven Jackson, my first round draft pick in my Chicken & Waffles league fantasy football draft a few weeks ago, has finally gotten the new contract he's been holding out for and reported to training camp.

This guy has the potential to have an absolutely HUGE season. I'm talking awesome numbers. Unfortunately, he's only got another 2 weeks to get himself up to speed with the offense before the season starts. I will say that the Rams did the right thing by paying him big money (up to $49.3 million!!), because he is the best thing they've got going, though I do wish he hadn't been such a punk and refused to report to camp until he signed an extension. I have to believe most of that was his agent's fault, but still, what ever happened to a contract binding both parties?? Why do athletes think it's ok to just refuse to play until their contract is renegotiated? What if a team decided not to pay the player until they scored more touchdowns?

Either way, welcome back, Mr. Jackson. Now get your ass ready for the Eagles.

Two Worlds Collide, Rival Nations. It's a Primitive Clash Venting Years of Frustration

2008-08-20T09:48:00.002-04:00

(Survivor, Burning Heart)

United States v. Australia isn't exactly an age-old rivalry, but hey, this is the Olympics. I'm rooting against countries I didn't even know existed (when did Ivory Coast change it's name to Cote d'Ivoire??), so of course I was happy to see the Redeem Team (dumb) pull it together after the first quarter and dismantle the Aussies today, on their way to the semifinals against either Greece (boo!!) or Argentina (boo!! - sorry Manu). Hopefully Spain (boo!!) will beat Lithuania (boo!!) in their semifinal game so we can show those racist dogs who's boss in the final game.

I've been getting pretty into the Olympics this year. I always think I'm not really into the Summer Olympics, but I think I just forget how much fun they are, due to the fact that they're four years apart and only last two weeks. The Winter Olympics are always awesome - skiing and snowboarding are just too cool to forget about being excited for. But this year's Summer games have been great - I'm pretty sure I've never cared much about swimming (thanks, Phelps, you goofy looking bastard), women's gymnastics (check out this video of Alicia Sacramone knocking out some dude in his backyard), women's sand volleyball (Misty May sounds like a pornstar's name), or synchronized diving, but lately, I've been happy to watch it all and pretend that I understand why a 16.45 score is supposed to be so awesome. (Amanda, did you see that!! He got a 16.45!! That is unreal!!)

Of course, I have no idea what separates a 16.45 from a 15.25, nor do I understand why they don't just give them scores of 1-10 and then add them all up like they used to. Either way, keep at it, Team USA. After this is over, it's time for most of you to go back to school or find jobs, so enjoy it while it lasts.

Picket Lines and Picket Signs, Don't Punish Me With Brutality

2008-08-12T11:22:00.004-04:00

(Marvin Gaye, What's Going On)

Check out this headline from CNN.com. Dozens of people? Dozens? What do you think they're saying out in Hollywood, while they're reading this article online?

DOZENS! THERE ARE LITERALLY 36 PEOPLE PROTESTING OUR MOVIE!! WE'RE FINISHED IN THIS BUSINESS!! I KNEW I SHOULD HAVE GONE TO LAW SCHOOL INSTEAD!!

And I Have Been Drunk Now For Over Two Weeks, I Passed Out and I Rallied and I Sprung a Few Leaks

2008-08-10T20:48:00.008-04:00

(Jimmy Buffet, A Pirate Looks at Forty)

Just got back from a weekend in Long Beach. Tommy and I drove down for our fantasy football draft, which was Saturday afternoon. I'm pretty happy with my team, thanks to a bit of advance scouting and some draft day luck.

It was a really fun weekend, complete with some blackjack (lost $30 - not so bad), the draft, a visit to Waffle House, and an always enjoyable lunch at Pirate's Cove, which has moved into a temporary space further into Pass Christian. That roast beef po-boy is so good it makes my eyes water. And healthy, too!

One thing I did notice the other night, though, while we were watching the opening ceremonies of the Olympics, was that the US athletes kind of looked like douchebags. Why were they all wearing this ridiculous outfit? I'm not the biggest fan of the olympics in general, but I like watching US basketball, US hockey, rooting for the United States to win medals, and most importantly, rooting vehemently against all other countries. It's really the only opportunity we get to be blatantly nationalistic. But really? This outfit was ridiculous. Lenny thought they looked like sailors, which doesn't necessarily justify it. I just thought it looked like Halloween, and everyone wore the same crappy costume. And in at least one instance, the First Lady of the United States might have had reason to fear for her sexual well-being.

I developed a pretty nasty sinus headache on the way home, and I was feeling pretty wrecked when I got home last night, but I'm feeling much better now. In case you're wondering.

Bacon Bacon Bacon Coffee Milkshake Egg and Waffle

2008-08-07T11:50:00.004-04:00

(Electric Fetus, The Brunch Rap)

This past weekend Amanda and I celebrated Barack Obama's upcoming birthday (Aug. 4) by having brunch twice. And test-driving scooters.

Saturday we returned to the Social House, finally meeting up with some friends we've been trying to get together with since April. Doesn't seem like it would be so hard to do, but evidently it was quite a scheduling nightmare. The first time we ate there, the coffee was miserable (thankfully they've rectified that situation), and I had the "whole farm breakfast sandwich" (yes, those are belgian waffle sections instead of bread). I'll probably have to go back to the sandwich again at some point, but once I discovered how good their shrimp & grits were (with andouille sausage!), it has been hard to stray from that. Next time, though, I'm going to have to go with the savory bread pudding, topped with shrimp. I had a bite of it, and I can't wait to go back to eat the whole plate.

Sunday we went down into Kirkwood to check out a friend's house and neighborhood. It was nice, we drove around a bit, looking at some of the homes for sale, and some of the hookers walking the streets at noon on a Sunday. What can I say, we love diversity. If we do end up in Kirkwood, it will certainly be better than living across the street from the Department of Corrections Transitional Housing Center, and next door to a meth lab. We ate at Sun In My Belly, which is exactly as cute of a place as it's name would suggest. They had a jazz guitarist with a female vocalist for your Sunday Brunch Entertainment, and I had an omelet with cheddar cheese, red onion, avocado, and pulled pork. It was awesome.

As I mentioned above, we also test drove some scooters. Actually, we took turns on the same scooter. It was pretty fun. We went over to ATL Scooters, just for the hell of it, and started looking at some of the ones on display. We talked to a salesman for awhile before getting him to take us across the street to the Kroger parking lot for a quick test drive (they don't normally do test drives on Saturdays, but he was nice enough to oblige us anyway). We're not really in the market for a scooter, but if we were, it would certainly save us a bunch of money. For starters, they only run about $1700, which is about $1700 less than I was expecting. Secondly, despite it's small gas tank (1.5 gallons), it gets insane mileage, to the tune of 80 miles per gallon. That's 120 miles to the tank, at a whopping $6.50 or so, to fill it up. That's about a month of driving to and from work, for $6.50. Unbelieveable.

We were a bit shaky at first, but started to get the hang of it. I'm sure with a little bit of practice, we'd be pros. And yes, mom, we wore helmets. I've got a picture of Amanda riding, I'll have to put it up later, after I get home.

Baby I'm Not Trying to Make Amends For Coming to Los Angeles (No More Boston)

2008-07-31T17:34:00.007-04:00

(Counting Crows, Los Angeles)

It is a dark day for Red Sox Nation.

When the Sox dealt Nomar back in 2004, he wasn't the same player he once was, and they did, of course, go on to win the World Series that year, so who can argue with anything they did that season? After that season, they cut the cord on Pedro, which seemed like an insane move at the time (except for the money factor), but in hindsight really was a great move for them, because he's been injury-plagued ever since, and hasn't really regained any of what he had during his heyday in Boston. Derek Lowe, Billy Mueller, and Orlando Cabrera all saw Boston in their rearview as well shortly thereafter. Even former manager Grady Little was gone (after the 2003 playoff debacle), though not too many people really missed him all that much.

The strange thing is, all of those guys except Pedro ended up in Los Angeles, and all but Cabrera ended up on the Dodgers (Cabrera went to the Angels). When we lived in LA, I would occasionally go to Dodger games with Josh, Jeremy, Jason, and a few other people whose names didn't start with J, and it felt natural for me to wear my Red Sox hat to Dodger Stadium, since we had fielded so much of their team for them. In fact, I even got yelled at once in the bleachers, while I was there with my sister, and when some drunk guy told me to "Go back to Boston, buddy!", I calmly (maybe not so calmly) responded, "Hey, we gave you half of your team!" He just shrugged his shoulders and sat back down.

Well, today the tradition continues. Manny Ramirez, the embattled, dreadlocked, power hitting, (possibly) clinically insane, RBI machine, protector of David Ortiz's strike zone, has finally been traded. To the Dodgers. As if it had been scripted. Sure, he's been asking for a trade for years now, but he usually forgets about that a few weeks later, and knocks in 50 more runs before the season ends. It did seem like an inevitability this time around, but I was still holding on to a little bit of hope that maybe this would blow over and he'd keep high-fiving fans while catching fly balls, before gunning out a runner from left-fucking-field. Seriously. Watch this video. It's awesome.

This is what we're losing. We're also losing, indirectly, the potency of Big Papi's bat, because without Manny hitting behind him, he's going to be walking to first on a much more frequent basis.

The only real silver lining to this would be, now that Manny's in LA, if they finally make a movie about him, like I've been saying for years, if they get Donald Faison to play him. They might as well be brothers, or at least cousins. Right?

I'm Passing Sleeping Cities, Fading By Degrees, Not Believing All I See To Be So

2008-07-26T22:10:00.007-04:00

(Tom Petty, Saving Grace)

It's been over a month since I last posted. Incredibly, this was brought to my attention by more than one person in the past few days. Even more incredibly, none of those people were my parents.

Let's take a quick look back at the past 5-6 weeks in a little segment I like to call: "The Highlights." (I never said it would be clever.)

I spent a few days in New York, which included meeting my cousin's newborn baby (adorable), eating at one of Bobby Flay's restaurants (delicious), wandering aimlessly around Manhattan (I walked past Ryan Adams on Bleeker Street!), and catching up with some old friends at the illustrious Grassroots. Downside? For some reason, Grassroots no longer has Bruce Springsteen's Greatest Hits on the jukebox. Pour some out for 3803 (Badlands). Very depressing.

Amanda returned from Israel. What this means, aside from the fact that I was incredibly happy to have her home, is that I did a serious amount of cleaning, including both dry AND wet swiffers.

Our friends Seth and Miriam got married. The wedding was here in Atlanta, which was awesome, because we didn't have to buy plane tickets or hotel rooms. Also, it was a ridiculously good time.

Our nation turned 232 years old. Doesn't look a day over 197, if you ask me. We celebrated by going to three cookouts in one afternoon. Remind me not to do that again.

We saw Tom Petty and Steve Winwood in concert. Wow. Amazing show. Petty played like one new song, the rest were his older hits, which means he knows exactly why people are coming to see him after all these years. The highlights were "Don't Come Around Here No More," "Gimme Some Lovin" (with Winwood on vocals and keyboards - awesome!), and when some drunk chick started talking to me like she knew me, and continued doing so even though I was staring at her like she had just grown a third arm out of her head.

My sister got engaged! Congratulations to Michelle and Justin. Just remember - nothing guarantees a fun wedding like an open bar.

Five days at the beach in Gulf Shores with a bunch of friends from the LBC. I'm not a huge beach person - I much prefer a pool (not big on sand) - but man, that was relaxing. I was probably ready to leave by the time we left, but it would be great to take a short trip like that twice a year or so. I also got a Goddaughter, which makes me, that's right, the Godfather. Don't think I haven't had way too much fun with that. Because I have. More fun than a person should be allowed.

The Dark Knight solidified its place as the most anticipated movie of the summer that completely lived up to its hype. I can't even describe how much I liked it, especially without seeing it again, which I think might have to happen soon. Without trying to sound like every single movie reviewer (and failing miserably), Heath Ledger deserved every bit of praise for his Joker role as he's been getting. Such a disturbing plot, and sharp commentary on current political situations. Just awesome.

And last, but certainly not least, our friends Jeff & Kristin's son Jake, born an astonishing 12 weeks premature, has been not only plugging along like a trooper, but absolutely thriving - he is getting larger and stronger by the day, and is looking adorable beyond measure. I am by no means a very religious man, however this kid's short but strong history points squarely toward the work of a higher power.

Well, that about sums it up. For the two or three of you who have missed me, and for Mom and Dad, I'll try to be a bit more regular with my posts.

I Walked Into a Local Record Store and Asked for an American Music Anthology

2008-06-19T12:38:00.004-04:00

(New Pornographers, Myriad Harbour)

I'm about to head out the door to the airport - weekend in NYC. I couldn't be more excited to be spending some time in the City, and seeing my family, although I have seen my family once or twice in the last 5 years, though it has been 5 years since I've really spent any time in the greatest city in the world, so that's really what I'm pumped about.

I'm sure I'll have some sort of report post-trip, but in the meantime, here's another mixtape, New York style. Enjoy, and have a good weekend.

We've Got Solid-State Technology, Tapes on the Floor, and Some Songs We Can't Afford to Play

2008-06-14T16:22:00.006-04:00

(Wilco, Red-Eyed & Blue)

So, I started making this mixtape last night, while I was sitting around, bored and watching whatever was on the Food Network, and I started putting together some of the songs I've been listening to lately, and then I realized that it was sort of turning into an "I miss Amanda" mix (she's in Israel right now, for another 2 weeks, in case anybody didn't know), so rather than fighting it, I just embraced it (which is about where Transatlanticism made its appearance). Deal with it. Actually, there's only like maybe one sappy song on there, the rest of it is, if I may, pretty damn good.

But All the Promises We Break, From the Cradle to the Grave, When All I Want Is You

2008-06-12T10:25:00.005-04:00

(U2, All I Want Is You)

This was just too good to resist. I wish there were a caption contest for this picture so I could win it with the following:

We need you. Hell, I need you. I'm a mess without you. I miss you so damn much. I miss being with you, I miss being near you. I miss your laugh. I miss your scent; I miss your musk. When this all gets sorted out, I think you and me should get an apartment together.

The look on Paul Rudd's face when Champ says "I miss your musk," makes me want to pee in my pants from laughing.

When Happily Ever After Fails, and We've Been Poisoned By These Fairy Tales

2008-06-12T09:20:00.006-04:00

(Don Henley, The End of the Innocence)

Remember when I said that I knew who won Top Chef? Well, it should come as no surprise to anyone that I was wrong. I watched last night's finale over at Bloomfield Manor (thanks guys), and it was a pretty good one. Exciting to literally the final minute, as the three of us had absolutely no idea who the winner was going to be until revealed by the lovely and talented Padma, who, by the way, gave us this golden nugget in an LA Times interview:

People want individuality and something that's authentic and soulful. I'd like to do a show where I'm cooking a stew for friends and while it's bubbling I go, 'Hey, let's listen to this amazing boot- leg concert of Led Zeppelin from 1968.' Or I would read you poetry while the soufflé is cooking.

Despite the fact that it sounded a little forced, I vote for the Zeppelin.

The shocking part about last night's finale was the way Richard completely choked. He was probably the frontrunner from the very first episode (as well as who I thought was going to win, based on what I was told), and then last night he really just clammed up and cooked a serviceable meal, but nothing as inspired as to bring home the title. I'm still very excited to go try his restaurant here in the ATL, though, as he's one hell of a chef.

I was also pretty shocked that Lisa, who, according to the subject line of an email my old roommate Josh sent me last week, "= farts," (a sentiment I completely agree with), really seemed to cook a great meal, probably one good enough to have won the competition. Of course, she was still a bitch, but for the first time, it looked like her food was worthy. It's just amazing, though, that she even made the finals, considering that she was in the bottom three for like 4 or 5 straight weeks. Essentially, she wasn't in the finals because she was strong, she was in the finals because she wasn't as weak as the weakest person in each challenge. If she had won, there would have been an uproar. By me. I would have been in an uproar.

Stephanie was (along with Richard, who pulled a Nick Anderson last night) highly deserving of the championship this season. She was a great cook, she had a great personality and never got in anyone's face, and she dances a great little jig when she gets excited. All the ingredients of a champion, if you ask me. (Here's the footage of Stephanie being announced as the winner. The jig makes its appearance around the 2:50 mark, in case anybody is interested.)

The thing is, it did seem like her meal last night was very good, but maybe not as good as Lisa's, although they didn't let me taste the food, so I don't know for sure. But it kind of seems like they were neck and neck, and the fact that Stephanie has been a rock star all season long, and is, you know, likeable as a person, sort of pushed her over the edge. I'm not so sure that's the way it should be done, even though I'm happy with the results. I mean, it's a competition, and this was the finals. Think about it like a sporting event. The Patriots famously went 18-0 last season, before meeting the 10-6 Giants in the Super Bowl. We all know what happened. That was an upset, and they happen all the time. It wasn't like, "oh, well, maybe the Patriots' game wasn't quite as good as the Giants' game tonight, but they had a better season, so we're going to give them the title anyway." That would be INSANE.

But that's kind of what happened last night. The chefs cooked 4 courses each. The judges liked Stephanie's the best in the 1st and 3rd course, and Lisa's the best in the 2nd and 4th course. (Sorry, Richard.) They were literally heaping praise on Lisa's soup (2nd course), to the point that we all thought she was taking the title right there. Then when discussing the desserts (4th course), Gail actually said "Stephanie's dessert sucked." Lisa's 2nd and 4th courses seemed to be head and shoulders ahead of Stephanie's, whereas Stephanie's 1st and 3rd courses just seemed to be marginally better than Lisa's. On her 3rd course, the judges even told her that her leeks weren't cooked and they couldn't figure out why they were there in the first place. Then, just before they announced the winner, Colleccio said that they based their decision on "whose meal we'd like to go back and have again."

I'm not much of a conspiracy theorist (my LOST posts notwithstanding), but I do think that last night might not have been entirely above board, at least in light of Colleccio's comment. I'm happy with the winner, because I think Stephanie totally deserved to win, and because Lisa sucks in a way that cannot be put into words, but I think that maybe the pedestal on which I place the integrity of Reality TV might need to be lowered just a bit, and that, my friends, is a sad fact. A sad fact, indeed.

There Been Times I Thought I Couldn't Last for Long, But Now I Think I'm Able to Carry On

2008-06-03T22:43:00.003-04:00

(Sam Cooke, A Change Is Gonna Come)

What a great night. (And a great speech!)

I've Been LOST Since She's Gone, The Piano She's Really On, I Don't Want You to Marry Me, Make Believe You're Debbie G (Part 2)

2008-06-03T13:49:00.001-04:00

(click here for Part One)

So, after watching last week's finale again, after Amanda got home on Saturday, I've got a few new theories, I think. We'll get to those at the bottom. Picking up where we left off ...

22. Hurley was visited in the institution by Walt, who may or may not have made his grandmother drive him from Brooklyn to Santa Rosa to do so. I once asked my grandmother to buy me the Guns N Roses "Appetite for Destruction" tape when I was 11. She said no. Yet Walt was able to persuade his grandmother to take him almost 3,000 miles to visit somebody that she's never even met, who lives in a mental health facility? Man, that kid IS special!

23. While visiting Hurley, Walt complains that nobody visited him after they got home. Quit crying, kid. Did you visit any of them? I mean, they were all on the news when they got home, right? He does tell Hurley that Jeremy Bentham visited him, though, and asks Hurley why they're all lying about what happened. (Is it just me, or wasn't it Locke's idea in the first place for them to lie??) Hurley tells him they're lying to protect everyone who didn't make it back.

24. "Like my dad?" asks Walt, who seems to have been heartbreakingly waiting for three years for Michael to get home. What Walt doesn't know is that Michael, who, despite repeated attempts to end his own life, was seemingly being kept alive by The Island until he redeemed himself, and redemption, it seems, is immediately followed by a visit from Christian Shephard.

25. Michael did a few bad things before he left The Island with Walt, including turning Jack, Sawyer and Kate over to Ben and The Others, as well as unforgivably overemoting in just about every episode he was in for the entire second season, screaming "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLTTT!!!!" every chance he got. Seriously, he used that like punctuation. Oh, and one of the other bad things he did was to shoot Libby in the stomach, and right after she had done a load of sheets and towels in the hatch's laundry room. Not cool, man.

26. Libby seemed to take a bit of a shine to Hurley, who, in turn, also took a bit of a shine to her as well. Strangely enough, though, she also showed up in one of Hurley's flashbacks, when he was in the institution. He had that imaginary friend, Dave, and when the doctor was showing him that the picture he took of Hurley and Dave really only had Hurley in it, the camera panned over and showed a very creepy and dishevelled Libby, who also seemed to be a patient in the same facility. I'd love to get some more background on that one day.

27. Libby also met Desmond in a coffee shop years ago, randomly, when he asked her for some change because he didn't have enough money for his coffee. They got to talking, after she bought him the coffee, and as it turns out, he was planning to enter a boat race, and Libby just happened to have a boat she didn't need! So, to recap, Desmond asked her for some change for his coffee, because he didn't have enough money, and, naturally, she bought him a coffee and gave him a boat. I've seen it happen hundreds of times.

28. Desmond needed this boat so he could enter Mr. Widmore's "Great Race Around the World Designed to Maroon My Daughter's Douchebag Boyfriend on a Remote Island, Never to Be Heard From Again." I'm sure it sounded promising in the brochure.

29. Mr. Widmore was trying to get rid of Desmond because he didn't think he was good enough for his daughter, Penny, who then spent the next 3 years or so obsessively searching for him, most likely using her father's money to do so. Nice one, jackass.

30. Let's get back to Libby for a sec. So, not everybody saw this, but when they replayed the first part of the finale, before airing the 2-hour episode, they added one extra question into the press conference of the Oceanic 6, after they returned to civilization. What was asked was whether there were any other survivors of the crash, to which Jack responded that there were three other survivors of the plane crash, but that they all died after reaching the island. He named Libby, Charlie, and Boone as those survivors. To me, that is just too random (especially with the inclusion of Boone) to not have some meaning, or be explained at some point why they chose to name those three.

31. Boone hasn't even been seen (other than in one of Locke's hallucinations) since the first season, when he died helping Locke uncover the hatch. And it is worth noting that he slept with his sister, Shannon. She was pretty smoking hot, but it was still a strange thing to do.

32. Charlie was also named as one of those survivors, which doesn't seem to make any sense either, aside from the fact that he died heroically trying to save everyone's life. His connection to Claire is fairly obvious to anyone who ever saw the show in the first 3 seasons. And if you're reading this, and you never saw the first 3 seasons, then stop reading and go Netflix them this minute.

33. Claire, as we all know, is the real mother of Aaron, who is being raised (and passed off as her own) by Kate. Claire came to visit Kate in a dream sequence in the season finale, when she told Kate to never bring Aaron back to The Island. It was creepy, to say the least.

34. Kate and Sawyer have always had an on again, off again kind of thing. They're like Ross and Rachel from Friends, only if Ross and Rachel were both criminals with a history of murder. They even had sex in a polar bear cage while in captivity (but really, who hasn't had sex in a polar bear cage while in captivity?). Kate was busted by Jack a few weeks ago, doing some favor for Sawyer, about a year or so after they left The Island (possibly checking on Sawyer's daughter?). This may have been what Sawyer whispered to Kate before kissing her (take THAT, Jack!) and jumping out of the helicopter, heroically sacrificing himself so the rest of the people wouldn't throw Hurley overboard when the chopper was losing fuel.

35. After jumping out of the chopper, a fully-clothed Sawyer started his mile or so swim back to The Island, where he emerged shirtless (??) from the water, and happened upon Juliet sitting on the beach, drinking some Dharma Rum, watching the smoke from the freighter explosion. Hmm... No Jack, no Ben, no Kate. Dharma Rum. Bow-chicka-bow-bow. Somebody's going to be getting busy in the Burger King bathroom.

36. Switching gears, we saw Sun confront her father, Mr. Paik of Paik Automotive (like Bob Vance of Vance Refrigeration), having used her settlement from Oceanic to orchestrate a takeover of his company. She apparently used five banks in the deal, which could be a misdirection pointing toward the settlements received by Jack, Kate, Sayid and Hurley. I don't imagine that her settlement from Oceanic was large enough on its own to buy a controlling share of Paik Automotive. Amanda thinks maybe Hurley helped her out with his lotto winnings. That's possible also.

37. But she blames her father as one of the two people responsible for the death of her husband, Jin. Jin got out of the engine room a little too late and missed his chopper ride, standing on the deck of the ship while Sun (in an absolutely terrific acting display, all joking aside) went completely bat-shit as the chopper flew away. Seriously, that was heartwrenching. And also, upon my second viewing, it was also interesting how she kept screaming "WE HAVE TO GO BACK!!", echoing Jack screaming "WE HAVE TO GO BACK!!" to Kate in the flash-forward at the airport. Speaking of Jack...

38. Sun also blames Jack for Jin's death, or so he seems to think. But is Jack really the other person she blames? We'll talk more about that later.

39. Jack and Locke. These guys are like the Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton of the crash survivors. The bad guy is really Ben Linus (or Widmore, or who knows what the hell is really going on), who we will feature in this analogy as our John McCain. Anyway, instead of banding together against the real evil party, they attack, attack, attack each other every chance they get, until finally their bitterness infects the entire "Party" and they splinter off into two groups, never to be allies again. Though, it does seem that 3 years into the future, they will be briefly reunited, but that doesn't really fit into my analogy. Or does it ... ?? No, probably not.

40. Locke, after being pushed out of an eighth-story window by his loving father, was in physical therapy in a rehab facility when he was visited by Matthew Abbadon, who was posing as an orderly, and suggested to Locke that he travel to Australia to go on a Walkabout. Locke, skeptical as always, noted that he was in a wheelchair and couldn't walk anywhere. Abbadon left him in the elevator alone, as the doors were closing, and said "when we meet each other again, you'll owe me one." Weird.

41. Abbadon also visited Hurley in the Santa Rosa facility, after he returned from The Island, posing as a lawyer for Oceanic Airlines, asking him something like, "Are there still people alive on The Island?" or something like that, before Hurley freaked out and Abbadon left before anyone could talk to him. Weird.

42. Abbadon ALSO is the one who hired Naomi (Locke's favorite knife-throwing target) to lead the helicopter mission, with Faraday, Charlotte, Lapidis, and Miles, who were all hand-picked by him to go on this mission. And he may or may not work for Widmore, and he may or may not represent the interests of The Island. Weird.

43. Charlotte and Faraday have been with the beach camp (Jack's group) for pretty much the whole time since their chopper landed on The Island. Faraday has a little crush on Charlotte (that must be why he never took off his tie for like 3 weeks), which she knows about and appears not to care. He tried to get her to come with him when he was ferrying people back to the freighter, and she opted to stay on The Island, because she's still looking for where she was born. Huh?

44. "If anything goes wrong, Desmond Hume is my constant."

45. "See you in another life, brutha."

46. After the Oceanic 6 shove off from The Searcher in their raft, Lapidis stays on board with Penny, Desmond, and Penny's small army of Portuguese sailors. They should have all been wearing matching outfits like Team Zissou, that would have made my day.

47. Truthfully, I have absolutely no idea why I connected Lapidis to Locke and numbered it "47." I'm sorry. I can't think of a single reason why this would have made sense to me at the time. I might have just been on overload, though. This does get a bit confusing.

48. But since we're back to Locke, can we discuss why he was visited by the ageless wonder Richard Alpert (he's like Dick Clark, this guy!) as a baby, as a little boy, and as a high school student (via his science teacher pimping out his Mittelos "science camp")?? Obviously Richard has always known of Locke's destiny, though 6-year old Locke really wanted that rusty old knife, and Richard sure didn't like that one bit. I would also like to reiterate what I said a few weeks ago, which is that the drawing of the smoke monster by a young John Locke is one of the weirdest things I've seen on this show. It might be weirder than the smoke monster himself.

49. John Locke is now the leader of The Others. The King is dead, long live the King! I was going to go with "Meet the new boss, same as the old boss," but made the switch at the last minute. I think either would have gotten the job done, though. Locke's going to struggle in this role, and I think it's going to make Ben's actions over the past 3 years look a bit more sympathetic.

50. Locke will also have to deal with Sawyer and Juliet, in one way or another. His first rule should be a strict 8:00 p.m. curfew for these two, because they're totally going to be doing it every chance they get. They're like a couple of horny teenagers who've found their parents stash of Dharma Rum.

51. Locke and Ben. Starcrossed lovers, except, not lovers. Both born 3 months premature (which is conspicuously when the women on The Island die during pregnancy), both have mothers named Emily, both know how to do that thing with their eyes where they look really crazy. These two are like Cain and Abel, Jacob and Esau, or Bobby Brown and Whitney Houston. Sure, they spent a lot of time fighting and making each other completely miserable. But in the end, they need each other, and the sooner Bobby and Whitney realize that, the better off we'll all be.

That's it. Finito.

Now, there are a few things I didn't get into in this Island flow-chart expository thing I've wasted everybody's time with.

First of all, John Locke changes his name to Jeremy Bentham. Something unforseeable has to happen to make everyone who already knew him as John Locke call him by his new name. Like, I mentioned to my buddy Will the other day when we were talking about this, if Will decided to change his name to George Miller, I'd still call him Will. Something's gonna go down, and it's going to be big.

Second, according to Miles, Charlotte has been trying for so long to get "back" to The Island. What could that mean? Some have speculated that she was with Dharma before the purge, and she's clearly not an "Other". We never saw what happened to Ben's little friend Annie, though I don't think she is Annie. But could she be Annie's sister? Or daughter?? The best part of that scene was when Charlotte asked Miles "What do you mean?" and he said "Yeah, what DO I mean??" and just walked away with a smirk. Well played, sir.

Third, and I know I've been saying this for a few months now, but I will say now I think I might have been wrong. I'm going to reverse course and say that I no longer think Jin is dead. I thought he was going to die all season, because I didn't think that Sun could (or more to the point, would) keep up the facade that they were the only survivors if he were still alive on The Island. But now, after seeing her completely freak out as that chopper pulled away, she clearly thinks he IS dead. Which makes me think he is alive, and that maybe he jumped off the ship and was able to swim away before it exploded. Unlikely, sure, but come on. People die and come back all the time on TV, especially on this show.

Fourth, and this is the one that's been giving me headaches for the past few days, is, who is the other person that Sun blames for Jin's death? And what are the "common interests" she was referring to when she approached Widmore in London.

Jack told Ben that Sun blames him for Jin's death (I guess because he wouldn't let Kate go after him when they jumped on the chopper). But I think that's just his own guilt talking. I think the person she really blames is Desmond, because Desmond and Jin were both in that engine room with the bomb, and all she knows is that Desmond got out and Jin didn't. She doesn't know that Jin tried to stay to diffuse the bomb, and even if she did, it would probably offer little consolation.

As far as the "common interests" she mentioned to Widmore are concerned, she also said "As you know, we're not the only people that left The Island." At first I thought she was referring to Ben, and was telling him that because she knew that Widmore had been after Ben for so many years. Then I changed my mind and thought she was referring to Desmond, because Widmore was probably still looking for Desmond and Penny. And while that may be true, I don't think that's what she meant, either.

That scene seemed to take place in the same three-years-in-the-future time frame as the rest of the flash-forwards did in that episode, because she was on the phone talking to her daughter, who was born about 6 months after they got off The Island, so it would have to be far enough into the future for her daughter to be able to talk to her mother on the phone, even for a short conversation. In that time frame, three years into the future, we know that Jack and Kate (and Walt) were all visited by Jeremy Bentham, and we know that Sayid and Hurley have some knowledge of Bentham, because Sayid came to get Hurley after Bentham was killed.

So, presumably, Bentham was visiting everyone from The Island, to try to get them all to go back, going so far as to tell Jack that some very bad things had happened after they left. But we never saw or heard any mention of him from Sun like we did from the rest of them. I'm guessing if he visited the rest of them, he visited her as well, and probably told her some of the same things. And I'm guessing that she didn't like what she heard, which may have involved Keamy's death (and Locke's failure to prevent it) setting off the explosion on the ship. And knowing what she does about Widmore, I think Sun went to him to avenge Jin's death by giving him information about Jeremy Bentham, leading to Widmore finding and killing Bentham (making it look like suicide, like Sayid said). So, what I'm saying is, I think Sun, who is clearly a different woman than she was before crashing on The Island, went to Widmore to turn over what she knew about Bentham.

Don't ask me to explain it any further than that, because I can't. It's just a hunch. And since my hunches are usually fairly wrong, don't put any stock in it.

I've Been LOST Since She's Gone, The Piano She's Really On, I Don't Want You to Marry Me, Make Believe You're Debbie G

2008-05-30T19:46:00.002-04:00

(The Pixies, Make Believe)

I don't know about you guys, but I'm going to have a hard time waiting until January 2009 for the next season of Lost to start. By then, I'm going to be fully bearded, washing pills down with vodka, and blasting the Pixies in my jeep, screaming, "WE HAVE TO GO BACK!!" (Actually, I'll probably be fully bearded long before then, and clean shaven again, without the drug problem, but still blasting the Pixies in my Mazda 626. Man, I love the Pixies.)

After last night's finale was over, I wasn't as instantly mind blown as I was after last season, with the reveal of the flash-forward, but this was so much more of a big-picture kind of thing, that it has been kind of tough to get my head around it all. I am very excited, though, for the next two seasons of concurrent storylines between the civilization group and The Island group. I might have more to say later on, after it sets in a little, but last night featured so many aspects and characters, that I was thinking earlier about who all was on the show last night, either in person or just in name, and it was a staggering amount of characters. At lunch today, I tried drawing out sort of a flow-chart, to better visualize who was tied to who, and I think I ended up confusing myself even more. See for yourself (you can click to enlarge) - though please understand that this image may be a bit disturbing, as it is direct evidence of my level of obsession with this show.

So, I figured the best way for me to conceptualize and get some thoughts down would just be to take one red line at a time and literally spell out each connection. I have no idea if this will be interesting or not, but it could take awhile. I might have to post it in more than one installment.

1. Ben Linus and Charles Widmore, aka Caleb Nichol. Obviously, they hate each other. Widmore is angry with Ben, presumably, for purging the Dharma Initiative people, and possibly for having The Island moved and preventing him from finding it (or returning to it?). Ben, clearly, blames Widmore for Alex's death, but can't kill him for some reason. It seemed like Ben's episode a few weeks ago showed him jumping through time, and that maybe he couldn't kill Widmore because Widmore was his constant. However, after last night, I'm not so sure. It is possible that by moving The Island last night, it sent Ben through some sort of time-space wormhold, in which he would need a constant, but whereas a few weeks ago I thought he could just jump back and forth, I don't think that anymore, and I think last night was his only shot. Now he's in real world time, along with the rest of the Oceanic 6.

2. Ben told Widmore that because he "changed the rules" and killed Alex, that he was going to take revenge by killing Penny. Which leads us to...

2a. If Ben wants to kill Penny, he's going to have to go through Desmond to do so. I read in an interview that Ben and Desmond have never had a scene together yet. Could be a good one if they end up colliding in season 5 or 6.

3. Widmore and Mr. Paik, Sun's father, have some sort of business relationship, though I'm sure it will be revealed to run deeper than that.

4. Widmore hired Keamy, a mercenary with a bloodlust rivaled by nobody, to find Ben at all costs and bring him back alive. Keamy was also going to follow "secondary protocol" and torch The Island. (I read in an interview - no real spoilers, I promise! - that Keamy was going about his job with such efficiency and zeal because it had something to do with his family. So, despite the fact that he is ostensibly dead in the Orchid Station, he may show back up in a flashback, or his family may show up - or be someone we already know?)

5. Keamy was killed by Ben in the Orchid Station, which in turn set off the 1.21 gigawatts of explosives on the freighter. Since we're back to Ben, ...

6. Ben's got a pretty large connection now to the Oceanic 6, in that he's now a "castaway" from The Island as well. But he's trying to get back, it seems, and he's going to help (use?) the Oceanic 6 to get back as well.

7. Ben showed up at the funeral parlor last night, scaring the crap out of both Jack and myself, after Jack busted the door in to get a look inside the coffin of ...

8. Jeremy Bentham. JEREMY BENTHAM?? Holy cow, man. Jeremy Bentham, according to Wikipedia, was a utilitarian, advocating for the greater good. The two things that stuck out about the article to me were: 1. He was one of the earliest proponents of animal rights, claiming that the benchmark of how we treat other beings (such as animals, babies, and those with disabilities) should not be based on their ability to reason, but their ability to suffer; and 2. In accordance with his will, his body was preserved and stored in a wooden cabinet at University College of London, and if the College Council's vote on any motion ends in a tie, his body will always break the tie by voting in favor of the motion. That is weird, man. God bless Wikipedia.

9. So, Jeremy Bentham is John Locke, but what we don't know is when, how, or why that name change takes place. And why do they all call him that in the future, when they all knew him on The Island as Locke?? Is it going to be, like, a Jacob (Jacob?) wrestling the angel, then changing his name to Israel, kind of thing? Or is it just an alias that he uses when travelling to South Central LA, because it sounds so down to earth??

10. John Locke. Jeremy Bentham. Whoever he is, he's dead. And, he's got to go with the Oceanic 6 back to The Island, if they ever want to get back there again. Why is that, do you ask? Could it be that he needs to be brought back to The Island in order to rise from the dead? Hmm, transporting a casket to The Island in order to have its occupant become undead. That sounds familiar, no? Sort of sounds like ...

11. Christian Shephard!! You may know him alternatively as either (a) guy who speaks for Jacob in Jacob's cabin, or (b) creepy dude holding babies in the jungle. You might also know him as ...

12. Father of Jack, or ...

13. Father of Claire, which makes Claire ...

14. Jack's half sister. Sorry, if this is getting boring.

15. Claire's also Aaron's real mom, although

16. Aaron is not only being raised by Kate, but being passed off as her own baby. Why not just say that Claire died in the crash? Probably because Kate needed some good PR before her murder trial, and a baby would make her more sympathetic.

17. Kate and Jack have the obvious long-standing connection, but I am going to enjoy the way they interact now that they're not on good terms. Hopefully there will be more slaps across the face handed out by Kate. Jack probably deserves it. The engaged, lovey dovey stuff was boring me to tears, except for the scenes with Kate in her pajamas (or lack thereof).

18. Though Jack loves Kate, he also has a bit of a thing for Juliet, who's acting skills consist entirely of showing cleavage and moving her mouth into weird positions constantly. Unfortunately, she's stuck on The Island drinking Dharma Rum, probably listening to a lot of Jimmy Buffett records.

19. Juliet was brought to The Island in the first place by everyone's favorite badguy, Ben Linus, either because he needed her to figure out the whole "women dying during pregnancy" thing, or because he was bored with all of the other women there and needed to ruin someone else's life in fruitless pursuit of sex. Could go either way.

20. Since we're back to Ben, for the time being, we can connect him to Sayid, who has become his own personal assassin, killing off whoever Ben tells him to. Sayid sometimes kills people on his own, though, such as ...

21. The guy parked outside Hurley's mental health facility last night, when he came to rescue (?) Hurley from the facility. Hurley didn't seem too surprised to see him, and they both seemed to know about this Jeremy Bentham character. It was strange that he didn't take anything with him or even change out of his bathrobe when he left ...

21a. Though he did finish his chess game with Mr. Eko. "Checkmate, Mr. Eko." Creepy. However, I find it hard to believe that even an imaginary Mr. Eko would lose to Hurley in a game of chess. Seems like simulated warfare might be an area in which Eko would excel.

My head is pounding. Part Two will have to come later, along with some good old fashioned random thoughts.

War! It Ain't Nothing But a Heartbreaker ... War! Friend Only To The Undertaker

2008-05-21T23:02:00.000-04:00

(Edwin Starr, War)

I'm not really in the mood to write very much tonight, so this might (might) end up being my shortest Top Chef post to date. I just had to sit through the two-hour finale of Desperate Housewives on the DVR, and I'm quite certain that I am now much stupider than I was at 8:00.

Full disclosure: I found out last night who wins this season of Top Chef. I won't say who it is, and the only hint you get is that I found out last night who wins this season of Top Chef.

I'm guessing tonight's episode is going to open up with Spike sulking around the house, now that Andrew's gone. Of course, I'm wrong. Colleccio shows up at 5:45 a.m. and wakes everyone up. He looks like he's had some coffee. Their Quickfire Challenge tonight is to work the egg station at Lou Mitchell's, a breakfast joint in Chicago. Pretty cool, actually. I'm a big breakfast guy, so this is going to be interesting. Stephanie and Richard are having a hard time, and Antonia seemed to do pretty well. Dale gets bombarded by 4 orders at once, and looks like a pro. Antonia and Dale were both singled out as the best, but Antonia gets top honors, along with some sort of advantage for the ...

Elimination Challenge: They end up in an empty loft space where Padma throws down the Restaurant Wars challenge. Everybody is fully jazzed, as this is what they're all here for anyway. Antonia gets to choose her team and picks Stephanie and Richard. Dale and Lisa are going to kill each other tonight. Dale is the team's executive chef, and surprise, they're going with an Asian theme. Spike wants them all to be professional. Good luck with that.

$1500 at Whole Foods (insert obligatory Whole Foods Is Expensive joke here), then they go to Pier One Imports (this mall's got everything!) for restaurant decor. Team Douchebag (that's Lisa's team) buys a ton of Budda stuff at Pier One. Team Discovery Channel is going with a Gastro Pub menu (American style food, which Richard explains after putting massive amounts of product in his hair.

Colleccio is away tonight, and his replacement is none other than Anthony Bourdain (wearing Colleccio's blue chef's coat). He's digging Team Discovery Channel's stuff so far, and Team Douchebag might (might) be up the proverbial creek of shit, as Bourdain has travelled extensively in Asia and loves Asian food, so he's going to be a tough judge. Bourdain brings out Andrew, Jenn, Nikki and New Zealand (welcome back, everyone!) and lets each team pick one person to help out. Jenn and Nikki make the cut, and the boys are sent packing.

Lisa doesn't like Dale's Halo-Halo (holla holla!), and they start getting into it over some rice. Antonia and the rest of her team seem pretty calm thus far. I like it. Spike then puts on a suit that makes him look sort of like the scumbag younger brother of the snooty (snotty?) maitre'd from Ferris Bueller's Day Off.

Team Discovery Channel is scoring big time with every dish on their menu, except for the dessert, but they're even getting props for trying. This could be a massacre. Team Douchebag is tense, and Bourdain's not loving the Laksa. Padma likes the dumplings. They're fighting in the kitchen about the size of the portions, which you'd think they might have worked out before they cook and serve everything. They do like Dale's Halo-Halo (holla holla!), though.

Judges' Table: They're all patting themselves on the back for getting their restaurants off the ground tonight, and Stephanie, Antonia and Richard are brought out as the winners. Big surprise there. Bourdain loved them. Stephanie finally wins again, which gets her a trip for two on a culinary tour of Barcelona, Spain, including a guided wine tour and tasting. Wow! Team Douchebag trudges out all downtrodden-like. 13 minutes left. Gonna be some drama here. Man, they are getting hammered on every single dish, one of which was described as "baby food garnished with potpourri." Yikes. Send em all home!! Or, just Lisa. That would be ok with me.

We can't catch a break here! Dale gets sent packing, and Lisa is still on this show?!?!?!?! I don't get it. She SUCKS! Dale was kind of a dick, but I liked him pretty much all season. Probably because he didn't like Lisa. We heard he's opening a restaurant here in the ATL, so we'll have to check his place out after it opens. Next week they get rid of one more chef before the finals, and I'm not sure I'll be able to handle it if Lisa makes the final four.

Republicans and Democrats Can't Give You the Facts, Your Parents Won't Tell You Till You're Grown

2008-05-20T21:56:00.007-04:00

(Uncle Tupelo, We've Been Had)

I just ate my weight in sushi.

Amanda and I just got home from a sushi-cooking class at The Cook's Warehouse in Decatur. We got an hour long discussion and demo from Joey Riley, the executive chef at Buckhead Diner, then we got to try making our own. I don't know how much everybody else made, or ate, because I was too busy stocking up for the winter. They let us make and eat as much as we wanted, so I made a tuna roll, a salmon and avocado roll, a california roll topped with tuna, salmon and avocado, then I tried my hand - successfully, I might add - with a piece of tuna nigiri and a piece of salmon nigiri. Then I made a salmon and tuna tartare roll, and a tuna, cucumber and avocado roll. After that, I made another salmon and tuna tartare roll, topped with avocado. I'm telling you, every single bite of it was awesome.

Amanda didn't eat nearly as much as I did, but most of her rolls looked much more professional than did mine. To be quite honest, though, aesthetics was a secondary concern of mine.

In other news, it looks like Obama officially took the majority of pledged delegates tonight, which is awesome, although he took a bit of a beating in Kentucky, which means HRC is gonna keep clapping and pointing excitedly from podiums for another two weeks.

But right now I am full of sushi, and I am happy. And I am ready for sleep.

Things Are Not What They Used to Be, Missing One Inside of Me, Deathly LOST This Can't Be Real, Cannot Stand This Hell I Feel

2008-05-16T10:05:00.000-04:00

(Metallica, Fade to Black)

Wow! I thought this was a great episode, and although it was mostly just an hour of set-up for the 2-hour finale in two weeks, we still got a lot of good stuff from it, and I mean a LOT of good stuff. I was thinking of not writing until after the finale, since this was just part one, but I'd probably be on overload if I did that, so I'm gonna go ahead and get a few things down now. I'm going to have to watch this one again, though, before the finale in two weeks. Anybody want to come over and watch?

1. Was anybody else covered in goose bumps as the "Oceanic 6" got off the plane?? What a great scene, when they were reunited with their families. That was a very well shot scene, very touching, and also very humanizing, to see these people who we've pretty much only known as fighters and survivors (pardon the expression), to let us see the other side of them, their relief and their vulnerability, especially Kate and Sayid, who were heartbreakingly standing there alone while everyone else's parents came running over to hug them. I like to think Cheech found a way to calm everybody down while they were waiting, if you know what I mean.

It reminded me of the end of The Goonies, after they get away from the Fratellis and their families are all waiting there on the beach for them. So, in my analogy, that probably makes Ben Linus the "One-Eyed Willie" of the bunch? I'd say it would be Widmore, but I think Widmore's more like the rich douchebag who wants to buy the Goon Docks and evict everyone. And, naturally, Hurley is Chunk, right? I was going to link to a video of Chunk doing the truffle shuffle and go for the easy joke, but the way Hurley brought Sayid over to meet his parents made me think this one was a bit more fitting.

2. I don't know about you, but I was so happy to see Sawyer cock his rifle and head out with Jack to find the helicopter. I can appreciate that they've added some depth to his character lately, showing him being nicer to Hurley and caring about Claire and the baby, but did anybody else notice how he gave the baby a little kiss before handing him off to Kate? That was a bit much. Come on, man. Sack up and go kill some bad guys!

3. 4-8-15-16-23-42. AWESOME!! In the camaro, man, that was creepy! I've always wanted to give that as my fake phone number, but I've never had the balls to do it, or been in a situation where I've needed to give a fake phone number. (481) 516-2342. Like that wouldn't be so fun to do. If 481 were an actual area code (it's not, believe me, I checked years ago), whoever had that number would probably be driven to the nuthouse with Hurley after all of the calls they'd be getting. I guess you could still give it out, though. Just tell people it's a Portland area code...

4. I like the way Ben walked right into the Orchid station where Keamy and his men were. For so long he's been putting people in harm's way "for The Island," but now we see that he is also ready to put his life on the line for The Island, which makes him a bit less of a bastard, I guess. And I loved his line to Locke: "How many times do I have to tell you? I always have a plan!" The way he was telling Locke to get into the Orchid station was pretty confusing, though, like trying to get unlimited men in Contra. Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Select, Start. Booya!

5. Ben's lockbox was also an interesting twist, though I would imagine that hiding a wooden box in the jungle for 15 years might have some negative effects on the contents of the box. Like the Dharma saltines that Locke immediately handed to Hurley. But really, why would you hide a box with a mirror and binoculars in it, on the off chance you might need it at some point in the future?? Either, where they hid the box is sort of the entryway toward the Orchid station, requiring some mirror communication before it's safe to go any further, or maybe Ben somehow went and hid it there a few weeks ago when he disappeared into the Batcave and summoned the smoke monster to come after Keamy and his men. Come to think of it, why didn't the smoke monster have more success against those guys? It scared them pretty bad, but only killed one of them? That doesn't seem very effective, especially considering the way we saw it grab Mr. Eko and slam him into the ground a few times.

6. I've said it before (#2), and I'll say it again. Jin's days are numbered. I really don't think it's a charade that Sun is keeping up for the sake of their story. I think it is going to be very sad, and I think it's going to happen in two weeks. Granted, the date of death on his tombstone was the date of the crash, that part is for the sake of their story. But yeah, he's a goner. And somebody is responsible for his death!! That was a great scene, where Sun told her father that she orchestrated the purchase of a controlling share of his company.

6a. Boy, Sun, Jack and Hurley are facing their fathers head on, right? Jack finally gets to put his father to rest, but we know that won't last long, because we've seen the visions Jack has in the future (and we also know Jack's dad is alive on The Island, or something like that). I wonder if Sun faces her dad early on, like we saw last night, and then has some other confrontation with him in the future, over the company, or maybe over something Island-related??

6b. I was also stricken with the aforementioned bumps of goose when Claire's mom showed up at the funeral and told Jack that Claire was his father's daughter. Wow. In fact, I just got goose bumps again thinking about it. Then the way he looked at Kate holding Aaron, his newly discovered nephew, conveyed such shock and a hint of disgust, probably directed at himself. Given Aaron's age at the funeral (3-4 months old, at the most) and at the end of Kate's trial (2-3 years?), I guess a pretty significant amount of time passes before Jack decides he's ready to be around Aaron again. This leads me to two questions: First, whatever happened to the right to a speedy trial? Second, exactly how far into the future was last season's finale, with Crazy Bearded Jack screaming to Kate, "We have to go back!" ?? 4 years? 5 years? (I stand by my theory that, to most people's incredible dismay, that scene is as far into the future as we are ever going to get on this show. I don't think we're ever going to know if they (or just Jack) get back or not. You heard it here first.)

7. Anybody notice how they sort of worked the tsunami into the storyline? 105 (she did say 105, right? not 108??) days after the plane crash, the typhoon washed up, blah, blah, blah; I don't remember exactly what she said at that press conference. But everybody seems to have been waiting for that tsunami to show up and affect the story, which I have always thought is a ridiculous theory. Why writers of a purely unrelated fictional show would use something so tragic as an ancillary story line would make absolutely no sense. Could you imagine doing that with the September 11 attacks, or Hurricane Katrina? Would never happen. Not this soon, at least. Anyway, I hope that's the last we hear of this typhoon, and I hope the tsunami-theorists will give it a rest already.

8. Um, so, that was a whole lot of explosives on the freighter, huh? I guess that could be why Keamy had that weird device strapped to his arm last week. So, if he planted those explosives there before he left, that's why he held up his arm and said, "You don't want to do that," when the Captain pointed his gun at him. What a dick.

9. Death is lurking around every corner. It seems to me that a whole lot of people are going to die. There are still two seasons to go, so I'm sure they won't all die in the finale in two weeks, but think about this:

The Oceanic 6 get back to the real world. Ben is still ok in the future, and according to Future Jack, Sawyer made a decision to stay on The Island, so presumably, The Island is saved from Keamy and his men. Which most likely means that Keamy and his men are going to die. And that's just the tip of the iceberg.

The Oceanic 6 get rescued, some people (Sawyer, and probably Locke, at the very least, and possibly Rose and Bernard, to stay on The Island to avoid her cancer back in the real world) decide to stay on The Island.

But what about the people on the boat, and the 4 helicopter people? What reason would they have, after getting back to civilization, to keep up the charade that the Oceanic 6 are portraying? I'm guessing the boat people and the helicopter people all end up biting the dust at some point, otherwise, they'd be around to counter the story that has been cooked up, regarding the plane crash and survivors.

I also think Michael is going to die. He couldn't die after getting off The Island, but that's because The Island wouldn't let him die, because he still had to redeem himself for what he had done. Helping Ben sabotage the boat, and helping the Oceanic 6 get rescued will take care of that redemption, and he's toast.

What about Desmond? The jury's still out on Desmond, but the fact that he so solemnly vowed never to set foot on The Island again makes his outlook a bit more bleak, considering the amount of explosives on that boat. However, I'd say that the ensuing battle between Ben and Widmore probably means Des will be around awhile, otherwise, why should we care whether Ben is able to find and kill Penny, since we only know her through Desmond anyway? My question is, why hasn't Desmond had any more flashes of the future, like the way he did with Charlie? Can't he see any of this stuff coming? Might have been helpful, before Keamy planted all that C4.

See you in two weeks.

When the Color Goes Out of My Eyes, It's Usually the Change, but Damn, Sam, I Love a Woman That Rains

2008-05-14T23:04:00.000-04:00

(Ryan Adams, Damn, Sam)

Last week we got rid of Nikki and her homemade pasta. Can we get rid of Lisa this week? I'm going to keep asking for it until it happens. Stephanie opens the show again this week with a comment about being sad to see Nikki go home, while we get to watch her tweeze her eyebrows. Dale doesn't like the fact that everybody hates him. And Andrew drops an f-bomb! Andrew, where have you been, man??

Quickfire Challenge: Sam is back! Sam was a finalist on Season 2. Padma had a serious crush on him, and I think she was in tears when she told him to pack his knives and go home. She has finally found a way to bring him back as a guest judge (I'm assuming she's been working on this ever since he walked away from the Judges' Table for the last time). Sam tells them they need to put sexy back in the salad. When was it ever there in the first place? Spike says he wants to make a salad that makes people want to have sex after they eat it. Thanks, Captain Literal. Then Lisa starts complaining about other contestants who don't belong there and whose personalities "suck ass." Hello, Pot? This is the Kettle. You're black.

Sam likes Andrew's and Spike's, but not Lisa's. (fingers crossed!) Antonia's has great flavor and Richard has broken from tradition and served his salad inside his fauxhawk. Not really, but that thing is getting a bit intrusive. Sam picks Richard (Richard?), Stephanie (Stephanie?) and Lisa (Lisa!) as the worst; and Spike, Antonia and Dale as the best, with Spike as the his overall favorite, which I am sure Padma is very excited about, given his earlier statement about having sex after you eat his salad.

Elimination Challenge: Make gourmet boxed lunches for Chicago firefighters and police officers, and they're supposed to be healthy. Spike gets to pick an ingredient from each food group that nobody else gets to use. Andrew is in rare form tonight, working blue like he's Richard Pryor. The chefs go to Whole Foods and stand there for ten minutes while Spike uses his 10 minute head start to taunt them by waving at them from various places in the store. What a hilarious douchebag. It happens to be nighttime while they're shopping and cooking. I'm guessing that after they left for Whole Foods, a conversation such as this took place:

Padma: Sam, you hungry? You know, I just divorced this dude, so I'm, um, available ... for dinner.

Sam: Yeah, I'm hungry.

Padma: How 'bout Indian?

Colleccio visits the group and seems to like the soup Stephanie is putting together, and is then brought almost to tears when he tastes Lisa's hot sauce. Richard's burritos look pretty good, and Dale's using bison, which is awesome. Colleccio thinks everyone seems to be doing well with this challenge. After he leaves the kitchen, Lisa realizes somebody "sabotaged" her rice by turning her burner up to high. Stephanie thinks Lisa might be full of it, and Dale agrees. With about 10 minutes to go, they all start running around the kitchen like the Keystone cops, dropping things and falling over trash cans.

The police officers come in for lunch and Richard proceeds to say "Do you like burritos?" about 7,500 times. Spike is creating the illusion of scarcity by only putting two lunches on his table, with the rest of them stacked behind him. Padma chows down on some lunch real quick before dragging Sam back to the pantry to see if he can find where she hid the tandoori chicken. The judges don't seem to love Spike's chicken salad or Andrew's sushi. Padma thinks Lisa's rice isn't cooked well, and when Sam agrees with her, she looks at him with puppy dog eyes. Sam comes from a family of policemen (which, Padma hopes, means he might have access to handcuffs), which ostensibly is why he's the guest judge? I didn't quite get that.

Judges' Table: Dale and Stephanie are called up first. Ted Allen looks like he's about to start cracking up for some reason. Sam names Dale as the winner, and he gets a bottle of wine and a trip for two to visit the winery from whence it came. Dale has very quietly won five of the 20 challenges so far this season, which is fairly impressive, given the number of contestants.

Spike, Lisa and Andrew are called back as the bottom three. Oh, please, PLEASE keep Ace and Gary and get rid of Lisa!! Andrew didn't notice something in the rules of the challenge, and Padma freaks out and yells at him! I don't think she has raised her voice above "barely conscious" since I've started watching the show. It is not looking good for my boy, Andrew. Colleccio lays the smack down on Spike, telling him "unfortunately for you, my opinion is the one that matters." Go, Tom! Lisa immediately alleges sabotage of her rice. They seem to skirt this issue by telling her that the rest of her dish wasn't cooked well either. So she does what any respectable person would do, and looks for another person to throw under the bus. Andrew wasn't very happy that he was her first choice, and they have some words while the judges deliberate.

I'm bracing myself for Andrew leaving tonight. Amanda thought he could be the fan favorite this season. It would be a shame to see him go. And a shame it is. Spike looks like he just saw his puppy get run over. The number of people I like on this show was just reduced by one. Now, I am really rooting for Stephanie big time. I also hope she starts dropping an f-bomb every now and then.

And Bait and Bows and Sows and Troughs. I've Coughed Enough and I've Walked As Much.

2008-05-14T15:20:00.007-04:00

(Tapes n' Tapes, Just Drums)

I'm a regular reader of Pop Candy, which is USA Today's pop culture blog. Whitney Matheson, the blog's writer, has just about the best job in the world, which is, from what I can gather, to watch TV, listen to music, go to movies, and just surf the web and have fun. And every so often, go do some sort of music or film festival. This is more fun than any human being should be allowed to have, and the rest of us should feel lucky that she shares it with the rest of us, bit by tasty bit.

Her latest offering is Mixwit, where you can create your own mixtape online and post it to your own blog or website, or just email it out to friends. Her first attempt (which is WAY better than mine) is "Lost Candy," featuring music that has appeared on Lost. (She's a junkie for the show as well.) Mine is, well, I'm sure you can figure it out. Just click on the tape to play. And the tape actually plays!!

I have no doubt that this might be a regular feature. Sort of like my own podcast, only, not nearly as cool.

Give Me Some Skin, Give Me Some Gin, I Want Some Wine, I LOST My Mind

2008-05-09T08:48:00.002-04:00

(The Ramones, Lost My Mind)

You know that scene in the Matrix, where Larry Fishburne is trying to explain things to Keanu Reeves, and his brain sort of goes on overload, and he starts foaming at the mouth and passes out? That was me on the couch during last night's episode. I'm still a little shaken up, and I'm not sure if I'm really able to process what happened last night, but I can say beyond a shadow of a doubt that last night was one of the best episodes in the show's run to date. My mind is officially blown.

1. So Locke's dad was a con artist, a killer, and evidently, a bit of a sexual deviant. How old was his mother, like 15 when he was born? (Roger Clemens: I see no problem with that. Karl Malone: Me either.)

2. When they showed Richard standing outside of the hospital room where little baby Locke was in the incubator, I lost it. I mean, I lost it. I was yelling ("Is that Richard? F*CK!!") and throwing my hands up, basically acting like a crazy person. And at that moment, 800 miles away in Houston, Texas, Mom looked at Andrea and said, "Ben is freaking out." True story. Exciting, I know.

3. That scene with Horace talking to Locke, where he was chopping down the same tree over and over again, that was also very Matrix-esque, the way they explained deja vu as a glitch in the system. Very creepy. And the nosebleed that kept appearing and disappearing, was kind of freaking me out as well.

3. That scene with Horace talking to Locke, where he was chopping down the same tree over and over again, that was also very Matrix-esque, the way they explained deja vu as a glitch in the system. Very creepy. And the nosebleed that kept appearing and disappearing, was kind of freaking me out as well.

3. That scene with Horace talking to Locke, where he was chopping down the same tree over and over again, that was also very Matrix-esque, the way they explained deja vu as a glitch in the system. Very creepy. And the nosebleed that kept appearing and disappearing, was kind of freaking me out as well.

4. Sorry, I couldn't resist that.

5. I loved Richard showing up at Locke's house when he was a kid, repping his "special school," like he's some sort of Charles Xavier, and I didn't catch the significance of all of the items he laid out on the table, but you just knew little Locke was going to grab that bottle of sand, right? I mean, that was Island Sand, for sure. Incidentally, when Amanda and I were in Hawaii a few years ago, I was going to put some beach sand in a little bottle like that to bring back, but Andrea told me it was a bad idea, because taking sand from the island was supposed to be bad luck. I guess Richard and Locke are under no such constraints. And why was Richard so upset when Locke held the knife? The sand and the rusty compass are ok, but the knife isn't? That was weird, considering the Locke we know now is all about the knife-play.

5a. My second "holy crap!" moment of the show was during this scene when Richard noticed the drawing that Locke had done. The f*cking smoke monster!!??!???!??!?! I don't even have anything else to say about that (other than the fact that it was a pretty crappy drawing to be hanging on the wall of a living room).

6. I loved that this was yet another episode that opened up (on Island time) with a closeup on an eye. That was how the show started, with a closeup of Jack's eye on the plane, right before the crash, last week's episode started with a closeup of Jack's eye as well, and there was also a prominent closeup of Desmond's eye in the first scene where he was reliving past experiences, when he was passed out on the floor of his and Penny's apartment with the red paint all over the floor. I'm sure there are others, but those are the only ones I can really remember. I love the continuity on this show.

7. I am willing to go along with the fact that the pilot, the drunk Mel Gibson type, may not be in favor of killing everyone on The Island, and might even be on their side (and how did he throw that backpack out of the helicopter without being noticed by Keamy?). But the captain of the ship, why is he helping Sayid, Desmond and Michael? He might not like Keamy, I don't like Keamy, but Keamy is a big dude with big guns (and some sort of explosive device strapped to his bicep?), and unless I had a dog in the fight, I'd probably be doing what Keamy wanted me to do. So maybe Captain Gault has a dog in the fight, is what I'm saying (or did, until he got capped).

8. The doctor floats ashore last week, with his throat slit, and Faraday uses the sat phone to morse code a question about it to the boat. Then this week, that morse code question hits the boat, and the doctor is still alive. And then he get his throat slit and thrown overboard!! This time shift between real time and Island Time is so weird, but here's my question: Earlier in the season, when Faraday did his little model rocket experiment, the rocket was sent from the boat and the person on the boat said that it landed. Then, like 30 minutes later, it landed on The Island. Why would that time shift reverse, then, with the doctor showing up dead on The Island before he was even killed on the boat?

9. I loved high school John Locke being rescued from the locker, then telling his guidance counselor, or whoever that was, where he could stick his stupid Mittelos science camp speech, squarely refuting the guy telling him that he was a man of science (Jack's the man of science, Locke is a man of faith). "Don't tell me what I can't do!" Awesome. He's been dealing with that his whole life.

10. Richard sure is determined to get Locke on The Island, though. He shows up three times before he's even out of high school, and can't seal the deal. Then after his accident, he sends Matthew Abbadon to his hospital as an orderly, to plant the idea of the walkabout! That was another big freakout moment for me, because as soon as Locke started talking to the orderly pushing his wheelchair, and they were making such a clear effort not to show his face while he was talking, I knew it was going to be him. So he put together the team of people in the helicopter, he visited Hurley in the asylum, and now he's basically responsible for getting Locke to Australia in the first place. I wonder who else he influenced in getting them to Australia, or on Flight 815.

(It just hit me that this is the first real flashback episode we've gotten since before the season finale last year! I read that the producers were saying that they were only going to use flashbacks from here on out if it was important to the story of The Island. I'd say this one was.)

11. One of my other favorite parts of the episode was the heartwarming "Lifesaver, son?" moment when Hurley shared his Snickers bar with Ben, while they were sitting there waiting for Locke. That was hilarious. And you know that took some serious thought on Hurley's part.

12. So, Christian Shephard was just chilling in Jacob's bungalow, having a spot of tea with his daughter, Claire, in the dark? Why does Christian Shephard fit into this part of the story!! Why can he speak on Jacob's behalf, why does he have a connection to The Island, why is Claire sitting in there like she knows exactly what's going on, why wasn't Jacob there, where was Jacob, where is Richard and the rest of the Others, why is Aaron "where he needs to be" and why is that not with Claire, ... (/gasping for air) ...

And how in the hell are they supposed to move The Island?

I'm feeling a little sick.

PS - Just to make my self sicker, I just looked up Richard Alpert on wikipedia, and he was a Harvard professor who was associated with Timothy Leary, and were both dismissed for their experiments with psychedelic drugs. He then travelled to India where he was guided barefoot from temple to temple (currently, on The Island, Richard was last seen receiving instructions from Ben to take the rest of the Others to "the temple" and wait for him there) before meeting his guru, who gave him the name Ram Dass. He then returned to the United States teaching harmony among all people and religions. That's probably all mostly irrelevant to the show, but it never hurts to learn something new.

Hey Little Sister, Who's Your Superman, Hey Little Sister, Who's the One You Want, Hey Little Sister, Shotgun!

2008-05-07T23:16:00.001-04:00

(Billy Idol, White Wedding)

Third post in one day. I'm really burning it up, here. Let's roll...

Ace and Gary start the episode with a little rolling around in bed in their pajamas, mourning the loss of New Zealand, until Andrew realizes Spike no longer has a roommate, and enthusiastically moves into the room, taking over New Zealand's bed, presumably so he won't have to sleep so far away from Spike.

Quickfire Challenge: The guest judge this week is no guest judge. Colleccio joins Padma in the kitchen, possibly because he was lonely after eating all of the meals by himself last week. They will no longer get immunity for winning a Quickfire, and they split into two teams. They have to do a relay race of chopping, slicing, peeling, etc, and as part of it, they have to clean a monkfish, which just looks disgusting. Antonia, Stephanie, Richard and Andrew are on a team together, which is strong to quite strong. The other team is Nikki, Spike, Lisa and Dale, who hates Lisa and Nikki. Things should go well for them. Lisa narrowly avoids slicing her own hands, thank God, but that doesn't mean I like her. I don't. I hate her. Andrew makes up some time by dismantling his artichokes in record time, and Colleccio is getting a little whistle-happy, like he's some sort of high school track coach. Stephanie and Nikki are in a race for the mayonnaise, and Stephanie comes through for the win! Nice work.

And...Dale's profanity outburst makes its appearance. Right before commercials, he mentions that nobody likes each other on the team. That's gonna make it tough, I think.

Elimination Challenge: Everyone is excited for restaurant wars, since they all want to open restaurants (duh), and they seem to be sorely let down when told they're not doing that today, by Padma, who's wearing some sort of jacket like she's in Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band. Their challenge, for the teams, is to cater a wedding (including cake!) for two people who happen to own a restaurant and a wedding venue. Spike's excited that the other team picked the bride, which makes sense, because in my experience, the groom's much more laid back about the wedding planning.

And...Andrew's comment regarding his culinary boner makes its appearance. Always classy, that Andrew.

The groom likes Italian food, and Nikki is Italian! The bride likes Southern food because she's from Marietta, and Richard lives in Atlanta! It's amazing! I didn't catch much else from that segment, other than they both like cake. And soup. And they could talk, or not talk, for hours. Gonna be a great marriage.

Antonia says they shouldn't risk crispy chicken because you never know if it will hold up, but then she says, "whatever, we'll survive." THAT does not bode well for Antonia, because confidence usually equals being in the bottom three on this show.

Wait, they're buying the food AND the flowers? If that's true, this is gonna be one crappy wedding. They're probably going to have Spike officiate the ceremony, and Colleccio is going to be the musical entertainment at the reception (seriously? that picture is hilarious!). Richard and Andrew are working together at Whole Foods, and with a budget of $3,000, that's going to be almost enough for a dozen tulips.

Nikki inexplicably says, "I seriously can't believe I'm making pasta again." Yeah, right. That's all she knows how to do! I haven't seen her do one thing this whole season that didn't involve pasta. She then inspires confidence in her entire team by not making a single decision, and answering "I'm not sure" to every question they ask.

Lisa thinks Dale's doing a crappy job. I knew they were going to work together well. The rest of the team seems to agree with her, though. Nikki's making pasta at 4:17 a.m. and looks like she's been smoking meth. Man, she needs her beauty rest in a bad way.

Colleccio saunters in after a good night's sleep, and for that, everyone hates him, as they have been up all night cooking. This does seem like a really hard, really cool challenge. Much better than the block party from a few weeks ago. He says Lisa's groom's cake is ugly and looks like a battleship, which isn't the worst description. It looks like a 4th grader's art project, or a science fair volcano that happens to be square.

The wedding arrives and they're all zombies, except Padma, who should spend more time attending formal events, wearing that dress, on TV. The appetizers look pretty good so far, especially the pulled-pork sandwich with a homemade pickle. That sounds awesome. Meanwhile, the bride and the groom haven't spoken to each other yet during the entire cocktail hour. I hope they at least sit next to each other at dinner. The bride's team has decided that Andrew will stay to work in the kitchen, so he's not allowed to talk to the guests. Solid strategy.

Judges' Table: First up, bride's team. Man, I hope they win. And they do! Nice. Andrew dodged a big bullet, because they didn't like his chicken or his spinach. The winner is Richard. Boring. He wants to give it to Stephanie, though, since she made the wedding cake, which is actually a very great gesture, and she gets a Crate & Barrel gift certificate for $2,000. That's awesome. The groom's team comes out to take their lumps, and there's gonna be a lot of tired, frustrated bitching by some of these people, most likely Dale and Lisa. Nikki throws everyone under the bus right off the bat by saying that although they looked to her for guidance on the Italian-style menu, she was in no way the leader of the team. Nice backbone, Nikki. Dale and Spike have it out, and this is falling apart quickly. I hope Dale started packing his knives already, so he can just get the hell out of there when they announce the loser. I hope he doesn't lose, I'd much rather see that honor go to Nikki or Lisa, but he seems resigned to it, and he seems to be telling everyone where they can stick it before he leaves.

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make. (Paul McCartney) Oh, and in the end, Nikki gets sent home. Amanda called it. She's a genius, and much better at predicting this stuff than I am, which is weird, because I watch WAY more tv than she does, so you'd think I'd have an easier time with it.

Dark in the City, Night Is a Wire, Steam in the Subway, Earth Is Afire (Do Do Do Do Do Do Do Do Do Do Do Do Do Do Do)

2008-05-07T19:17:00.008-04:00

(Duran Duran, Hungry Like the Wolf)

After reading this post over at Burnt Orange Nation earlier today, regarding the "Mount Rushmore" of Austin restaurants, and discussing our favorites (naturally) with Micah, I decided I'd have to delve a little deeper and really put some thought into this. We both had some obvious, no-thought-required favorites, but were having a hard time narrowing it down. Micah thought it needed to be broken down into two perspectives, "Student" and "Resident." I believe it must go one step further, adding a "Weekend Visitor" category, because there are places I might feel the need to go with only 48 hours in town that, given all the time in the world, might not be as high of a priority.

So (and this is a bad idea to do right now, considering the fact that I have not yet eaten dinner and might well devour my own right arm), below are my "Mount Rushmores" of Austin restaurants. I've tried to make sure each category has a good variety of cuisines, which, given my affinity for breakfast foods, tex-mex, and barbecue,

Student Rushmore
1. Salt Lick. Let's be honest, you knew this was coming. Not the highest quality barbecue meat I've ever had, and it would be great (or deadly) if it took less than 30-45 minutes to get there from central Austin, but this place is just awesome. If you ever have the chance, trust me. Take it. The sauce is so good, it's almost drinkable. And as a student, I could handle the all-you-can-eat situation with no problem whatsoever, really getting the most sauce for my dollar. I'm already starting to drool.

2. Trudy's. Trudy's is just about the most perfect place I've ever been. The food is really good (but not great), it was pretty close to everywhere I lived in Austin, and it's always packed with people having a great time. The bar area includes a big outdoor deck area, which, given the beautiful weather in Austin, is a must.

They also serve the legendary Mexican Martini. This is basically a really, ridiculously, overwhelmingly, knock you on your ass margarita that they serve you in a full shaker, with a martini glass. You can generally get about 7-8 martini glasses out of one shaker. Then you order another one. After your 15th or 16th glassful, you're done. Literally and figuratively. They will only serve you two Mexican Martinis, and then you're cut off from anything else at the bar. And they don't mess around.

One afternoon in my senior year of college, I was there with some friends in the afternoon and had my dos Martinis Mexcianas, and I was feeling pretty good. Then we left, went somewhere else for dinner, and ended up back at Trudy's later that night (of course). I sauntered in and tried to get a beer, and the bartender somehow remembered that I had my limit on Mexican Martinis earlier that day, and would not serve me a beer. How this is possible escapes my understanding, because they must have had hundreds of people in there that day, but after about 45 seconds of being pissed and trying to convince him to pour me a Shiner, I realized that's probably the mark of a really responsible bartender, and I walked away beerless but satisfied, my faith in humanity reaffirmed.

3. EZ's. This place, I would probably never go back to, but when I was in college I ate there ALL the time. They had just about anything you could imagine: pizza, sandwiches, burgers, chicken tenders, salads (yeah, right). And the food there was definitely inexpensive. But the main draw was that if you showed them your University of Texas student ID, you got a $2 discount, which usually knocked your meal down to around four or five bucks. Can't beat that.

4. Crown & Anchor Pub. Just a good old fashioned crappy bar with a ridiculous beer selection by the pitcher (no liquor or wine), pool tables, dart boards, an outdoor patio, and a $2.75 burger and fries. Need I say more? Fine. In addition to being really cheap, the burgers were awesome. They also had good tacos. This place was about 3 blocks from our apartment junior year. Russell and I once went there on our way home from the gym, for burgers and beers. You can tell we were real serious about our workouts.

Resident Rushmore
1. Salt Lick. Yeah, it's that good. And if I lived there, I'd be much less concerned with the trek out there.

2. Guero's. We ate at this tex-mex joint a few years ago on a trip to Austin, and everybody was really happy. They had great margaritas, and really great food. Bill Clinton ate there once (or so we were told), and the restaurant was also prominently featured in the movie Death Proof. This may have been in my Student Rushmore, but I never ate there as a student, so that settles that.

3. Kerbey Lane Cafe. This is a great breakfast place, but what immediately comes to mind when you mention it to anyone who's been there is "Kerbey Queso." Not traditionally a breakfast food, but it's Austin, and every restaurant in Austin also serves tex-mex. Their queso is awesome, loaded con carne, which is a welcome appetizer, even for an omelet or migas (migas!) or some of their awesome gingerbread pancakes. This place probably would have been in my Student Rushmore as well, but when I was there they only had one location, on Kerbey Lane, which wasn't nearly as close as the location they have since added right next to campus.

(By the way, I just put salt and ketchup on my right arm. I'm not lying when I say that this is driving me crazy with hunger. Could get ugly.)

4. Huts. Edging out Handy Andy's in Oxford, Mississippi, this might be my favorite hamburger place ever. (Which is saying something, because I do love a good burger.) And for some reason, I ALWAYS forget about it when I'm visiting Austin and never consider it for a meal. However, if I lived there, I'd probably remember to go there more often. This needs to change. I vow, this day, that on my next trip back to Austin, I am going to go to Huts and order myself an Allen Freed buffalo burger (bbq sauce and cheddar). 2 for 1 on Mondays!

Weekend Visitor Rushmore
1. Salt Lick. Only two days in town? Go to the one at the airport as soon as you get in, or on your way out of town, and you don't have to worry about that long drive!

2. Texadelphia. This is the home of the cheesesteak in Texas, and is the best hangover cure known to man. You're gonna have to trust me on this one. However, usually when I eat there, I don't get the cheesesteak. I go for the turkey sandwich. Strange, I know, and I don't quite know how to explain it, but their turkey sandwich, with the mustard blend sauce, is just amazing. If I lived there, I probably wouldn't eat there with great frequency (except for maybe those Sunday mornings when I needed a cheesesteak to get me through), because there is no shortage of amazing restaurants in Austin, but going back for a weekend, it's a tough one to pass up, if for no other reason than the nostalgia factor (and the mustard blend).

3. Trudy's. See above. I don't think I have been back to Austin and not gone to Trudy's ever. And that's a streak I'd like to see continue.

4. The Omelettry. This place is a diamond in the rough. I didn't discover it until late in my senior year of college, and I could never convince any of my friends to go there with me, so many of them have probably never heard of it. It's out of the way (over on Burnet), and it's largely visited by locals and people who live in that neighborhood. It is, however, very close to the Top Notch, which everyone remembers from Dazed & Confused. They have amazing omelets, pancakes, migas, anything you could want. But don't go there if you're in a hurry, because they don't care. And they're not a very big restaurant, so there's usually a bit of a wait. But it's worth it. Interestingly enough, this restaurant is also featured in a very long scene in Death Proof, though it is only seen from the inside, and appears in a part of the movie that supposedly takes place in Tennessee. I took Amanda, Brandy and Robert there on our trip to ACL a few years ago, and everyone loved it. Robert's been talking about it ever since.

Anybody out there agree/disagree with my choices? Anybody out there reading at all? Feel free to leave a comment and let me know your favorite Austin eateries.

It's Not Going to Stop Till You Wise Up, No, It's Not Going to Stop, So Just ... Give Up

2008-05-07T08:45:00.005-04:00

(Aimee Mann, Wise Up)

Last night was a good night, thanks to North Carolina and Indiana voters. With strong results in Kentucky and West Virginia in the next two weeks, it seems like Obama might be able to get the Supers to start sacking up and finally making some decisions, so the party can stop tearing itself apart from within.

Undaunted by yet another disappointing showing at the polls (and unwilling to stop tearing the party apart from within), Hillary Clinton remains committed to beating a dead horse, giving us the following display of delusion from her "victory speech" in Indiana, where she picked up three more delegates than did Obama (who outgained her by 20 in North Carolina):

"I believe that Americans need a champion in their corners," she said at a rally in Indianapolis. "For too long we've had a president who has stood up and spoken out for the wealthy and the well-connected, but I don't think that's what Americans need."

Because nothing says opposite of wealthy and well-connected like a woman who had an income of $110 million over the last 7 years, and is the wife of a former president.

You Think You're a Radical, But You're Not So Radical, In Fact You're Fanatical, Fanatical!

2008-05-05T22:51:00.006-04:00

(Flaming Lips, Free Radicals)

And now for more LOST ramblings.

I'm going public with my new radical theory that I developed (and then immediately discredited) this morning. I watched last week's episode again on Sunday, b/c Eric and Shari hadn't seen it yet, and they came over to watch. I know I said it wasn't that good of an episode, but after re-watching it, I definitely enjoyed it more, and started thinking a little more about it. Here's the new radical theory (discrediting to follow):

Jack is dead (or in a coma) and the flash-forwards are his "life" flashing before his eyes (or his coma-induced dreams).

Jack either did not survive his appendectomy procedure, or slipped into a coma during it, as it wasn't exactly done under the most stable or sterile conditions. First of all, like Rose said, people don't get sick on The Island, they get better. So, if Jack's sick, there's a reason, and it's probably pretty bad.

The flash-forwards are a product of Jack's subconscious, either how he thinks things will play out, or, more likely, how he wants things to play out. Think about this. The people who get off The Island are all people Jack likes. Kate, he's in love with. Hurley, he has always liked. Sayid has always been loyal to Jack in times of trouble (when they had Ben as their prisoner, and when Jack and Locke split off into separate camps at the beginning of this season), and Sun he wants to get off The Island so she doesn't die during childbirth.

Conversely, look at the people, by and large, who do NOT get off The Island. Juliet, who is Kate's rival for Jack's affection. Sawyer, who is Jack's rival for Kate's affection. Locke, who Jack clearly hates and even tried to kill earlier this season.

So, Jack's subconscious creates this future where the people he cares for get rescued and the people he doesn't care for do not get rescued for one reason or another. He said in the last episode that Sawyer made a choice to stay on The Island? That's very convenient, and probably would make Jack very happy, but Jack, due to his surgery, didn't yet know that Sawyer has realized that Locke is completely insane, and is helping Claire make their way back to the beach to be with the rest of the group. To me, that doesn't sound like someone who wants to stay, it sounds like someone who wants to be rescued when the time comes.

Now, because it's his own subconscious, all of his demons are still there in the future. He still sees visions of his father, and he still develops the pills/drinking problem (which he inherited from daddy as well). His subconscious also invents a reason for him not to trust "future Kate" (she's helping Sawyer!!) and be too controlling (which was the same problem he had with his first wife before the plane crash). His guilt over Charlie's death explains why his subconscious led "future Hurley" back to the nuthouse with visions of Charlie telling of bad things to come. His subconscious is also so untrusting of Ben that "future Sayid" is now working for Ben as an assassin, putting his torture/weaponry skills to work.

Now for the discrediting:

"Future Jack" made a point of telling "future Kate" that she's not even related to Aaron, implying that he knows he is related to Aaron. That realization has not yet happened in Island time, unless it has happened and we don't know about it yet, and it might be revealed to us in an on-island flashback. If that is the case (which it probably isn't), then add Aaron to the list of people Jack cares about, since he's his nephew. Or maybe even wants a little kid to be taken to safety - could you blame him for that?

I know that the producers have said that the explanation of the Island is not going to involve being in someone's dreams or in someone's head. BUT, this theory isn't an explanation of The Island, it's an explanation of the future events we've seen. Still possible that it could happen.

The Light Was On But It Was Dim, Revolver's Been Turned Over, and Now It's Ready Once Again, The Radio is Playing Crimson and Clover

2008-05-05T21:47:00.002-04:00

(Elliott Smith, Baby Britain)

Happy Cinco de Mayo, everybody. In keeping with the festivity of this joyous occasion (and just to make sure this blog doesn't become a vehicle solely for Lost and Top Chef ramblings), I've decided to write about some of the new music I've been listening to lately. (I know that doesn't seem very festive, but I have a strange interpretation of some holidays. A few years ago, I joined a gym on Martin Luther King Day.)

A buddy of mine at work gave me about 4G worth of music a few months ago, and I've been slowly digesting my favorites. Most of the bands are ones I hadn't heard of at the time, which automatically makes them cool, however, some of these albums are at least a few years old already, which makes me decidedly less cool. I've also posted a song or two for each of the bands, so you can consider this your indie music sampler, courtesy of the good folks here at Deep Chrome Canyons (i.e., me). Most of this music is on the mellow side, so if you're looking to get your socks rocked off, you should look elsewhere.

Ambulance LTD (Ambulance LTD)
Ambulance LTD put out their self-titled first album 7 years ago, and they have already changed over most of the band at least once, which makes me a little late in getting around to listening to them. I dig their laid back sound, and I appreciate that you can hear the Velvet Underground's influence, especially on "Primitive (the Way I Treat You)".

By the way, and this is almost entirely irrelevant, but I just finished reading a book called "Please Kill Me: An Uncensored Oral History of Punk," and although it ended rather abruptly without covering anything in the past 25 years (and barely even getting into the 1980s at all), it was a really great account of the late 1960s-early 1980s punk scene. It focused heavily on the Velvet Underground, MC5, Television, Patti Smith, the Heartbreakers, the New York Dolls, and Iggy and the Stooges, with not enough coverage on the Ramones, and not NEARLY enough coverage on The Clash or the Sex Pistols.

Anyway, it's basically sex, drugs, and rock and roll. I mean, it's a cliche for a reason, right? Everybody was shooting up, and everybody was sleeping with everybody, men, women, it didn't matter. And I kind of figured that it was a very free-spirited era, but I was fairly shocked by some of the accounts, especially some of the stories about Lou Reed. Dude was a freak.

Ambulance LTD - Primitive (the Way I Treat You)
Ambulance LTD - Michigan
Buy Ambulance LTD on Amazon.com

Beach House (Beach House)
I was excited to get ahold of Beach House's first album (also self-titled, also a few years old) after reading about them in The Big Takeover, which happens to be the best music magazine I have ever laid my eyes on (subscribe for 2 years for only $20!!). This magazine, which I've been a devoted reader of for about 3 years now, has introduced me to a host of new music, including The Decemberists, who are one of my favorites. So, when I read a feature or an interview of theirs about a band I've never heard of, I tend to give it a lot of weight, and more often than not, it's worth a small investment to be able to give a listen. Luckily, this was in the trove of music I got from Louie, so my investment was unnecessary.

They're MUCH more mellow than I was execting, though to be fair, I was reading a review about their new album (released in February of this year), and I haven't heard that one yet. I like it, but it's not something I could listen to over and over again, for fear that I'd slip right into a coma. One thing I like about them is that they have a female singer. I really dig a rock band with a female singer. And I'm not talking about "chick music" like the Indigo Girls or Tori Amos (who I also like). I'm talking about chicks who rock, like Ann Wilson of Heart, Corin Tucker of Sleater-Kinney, and Beth Gibbons of Portishead. Now, Beach House isn't anywhere near the thunderstorm of rock like Heart or Sleater-Kinney, but Victoria Legrand's Nico-inspired vocals (and I promise I'm going to stop referencing the Velvet Underground) really blend well with their slow, sometimes eerie keyboard-based songs. Give them a listen, it's free. If you don't like it, you can turn it off. (Oh, and they don't start off all of their songs by counting, but these two happen to do that.)

Beach House - Apple Orchard
Beach House - Heart and Lungs
Buy Beach House on Amazon.com

The Dexateens (Lost and Found)
This is not one of the albums from my friend's stash. This one I downloaded a few months ago, legally, of course, and you can do so yourself right here from the band's website if you like what's below! The Dexateens are probably the hardest rocking band I'm writing about tonight. They're a throwback to classic rock, with a Southern edge. Sort of like, two parts Skynyrd, one part Faces (Yeah, Rod Stewart used to be a badass. Hard to believe nowadays, but it was definitely true.).

Lost and Found is the fourth album for this Tuscaloosa, Alabama, based group. They've been around for 10 years, currently on Birmingham-based label Skybucket Records. I'm going to have to check out some of their other acts, because this album is right up my alley. Hopefully they'll be in the ATL soon, because this band seems like they'd be awesome to see live.

This album is probably the reason for this entire post, because after I first downloaded it and listened to it back in February (or March?), I considered writing about it, but I just hadn't fully digested it yet, and I wasn't sure if there was really enough to say. I mean, I love music, and I love writing about music, but I'm no Lester Bangs. Anyway, after getting all this other music from my buddy awhile back, and listening to a bunch of it enough to get a feel for what I liked, I decided I'd revive my idea of writing about the Dexateens, but expand it into this longer, more comprehensive idea of writing a little bit about a bunch of bands. And since Amanda's still in New Orleans until tomorrow night, and I've got nothing but time to have a few beers, grill some hamburgers, and listen to music, I figured I'd put that time to good use.

The Dexateens - Lost and Found
The Dexateens - Enough of Nothing

Great Lake Swimmers (Ongiara)
Sort of a "Band of Horses lite," Great Lake Swimmers are one of Canada's great exports, along with Steve Nash and maple syrup. Oh, how I love the maple syrup. Any band that can pull off prominently featuring a banjo is alright in my book. They're folky, sort of Sufjan Stevens-esque, which I love, but without the very strange storytelling. They also have a bit of Neil Young in them, which is probably a prerequisite for any up and coming Canadian rock band. This album (their third) came out in 2007, and truthfully, if I'd heard it last year, it probably would have cracked my top 10 for the year. "Changing Colours" is a beautiful, beautiful song - probably my favorite from this album. This is also a very mellow album, but not quite as mellow as Beach House. More folky-mellow, whereas Beach House was more sleeping-pills-induced-mellow. Both are good, but in different ways.

Great Lake Swimmers - Your Rocky Spine
Great Lake Swimmers - Changing Colours
Buy Onigara on Amazon.com

I'd planned to write about a few more bands (Bon Iver, Grizzly Bear, Jamie Lidell, to name a few, though I probably won't get around to it anytime soon, because I already did my favorites of the bunch), but I'm getting kind of tired, so I'm going to go watch the Spurs/Hornets game. I've been living the bachelor life all weekend, and I've got one more night to lie on the couch with a Rolling Rock and watch basketball, so I'm gonna take advantage.

LOST In Love and I Don't Know Much, Was I Thinking Aloud? I Fell Out of Touch.

2008-05-02T10:21:00.000-04:00

(Air Supply, Lost In Love)

Happy?

I was nowhere near as captivated by this episode as I was by last week's, when Ben "don't call me Henry" Linus went all Jason Bourne on those dudes in the desert. We did get some minor answers, but I think I like it better when they introduce more mystery, and there wasn't that much mystery introduced last night. Although, to be fair, I was still in a bit of a food coma from the steaks and grilled veggies Amanda and I had for dinner.

1. Jack proposing to Kate might have been the single most boring moment of this entire series that didn't involve Nikki and/or Paulo. I don't need non-stop action all the time, but if I wanted to watch a chick flick, I'd pop in my You've Got Mail dvd. (Disclosure: I don't own You've Got Mail on dvd. I own it on vhs. But I don't have a VCR. Life's funny like that sometimes.)

2. I certainly did not mind Kate's casual wear. That is one smokin' hot someone-else's-baby-raising woman.

3. Speaking of raising someone else's baby, in the beginning, before we saw Kate in the shower, Amanda nailed that Jack was at Kate's house, but how awesome was it that Jack stepped on one of Aaron's toys and it just happened to be the Millenium Falcon?? For those of you who are inexplicably not Star Wars fans, what I'm referring to is that Luke Skywalker was raised by his Uncle Owen after his father was "killed in battle". Raised by his uncle? Sound like someone else who got off the island and calls Kate "mommy?"

3a. At some point, my guess is before they leave the island, Jack finds out that Claire is his father's daughter. (Christian Shephard sure has spread his seed, hasn't he?) That's why Jack didn't want to be with Kate (and see Aaron) after the trial, which Kate conveniently alluded to last night with her "I'm so glad you changed your mind" comment. Snoozeville. Now go get me a beer so I can wash down these painkillers.

4. I almost crapped my pants when drunk Mel Gibson ran out of the jungle with the first aid kit. I like that guy, though, and the tension between the helicopter people and the rest of the boat people is good drama. Sawyer should have taken out that Keamy guy while he was hiding in the bushes.

5. The scene when Jack went to visit Hurley would have been the creepiest scene in the show, if it wasn't for the creepiness of Claire waking up and seeing Christian Shephard cuddling with Aaron in the jungle. Seriously, that gave me the willies. He looked like he was some sort of zombie or something, like he was about to eat the baby. I couldn't tell if he was holding the baby because he knew it was his grandson, or because he was hallucinating and thought it was a candied ham.

5a. And how about that scene with Hurley? "You're not supposed to raise him?" We're to assume that he's referring to Aaron. Either way, Hurley's not doing very well.

6. I love that Sawyer sleeps with a gun in his hand. And Sawyer chose to stay on the island! So, we know that it wasn't necessarily a case of the Oceanic 6 saving their own asses at everyone else's expense. What was it that Kate was doing for him, though? (I was hoping she'd say she was doing something for Ben. That would have been jarring, to say the least.) If he chose to stay on the island, what could he need her to do back in the real world? Maybe something regarding his daughter? I never really thought there was a daughter, I totally thought he was getting conned by that chick and the warden, in that episode where he was in prison last season, but maybe there really is a daughter.

7. Miles has turned out to be a pretty cool character - his "I see dead people" thing is not bad at all. I thought it was awesome how he heard Rousseau and Carl when they came upon that clearing in the jungle. He's slowly taking over from Daniel "this tie must be double-knotted, otherwise I'd have taken it off by now" Faraday as my favorite of the four helicopter people. Bringing up the rear, again, is Charlotte Staples Lewis, despite the fact that she speaks Korean and evidently has no control over her facial expressions. Seriously, what was she doing with her face when Jin walked away after their little discussion? I've never seen anyone make that expression before. If anybody has this episode on their DVR, go back and watch this part, and tell me if you can figure out what this is supposed to be.

8. Who is this Bernard dude? He's a dentist, right? I get that he would be helpful in a surgical procedure, but last week he's deciphering morse code, and last season he's a sharpshooter in the beach attack?? A dentist? Got to be some more to that.

Next week should be good stuff. Btw, check out that picture of the Lost character toys at the top. Hurley's accessory is a scale. Hilarious.

Let's Go Down to the Sunset Grill, We Can Watch the Working Girls Go By

2008-05-01T21:18:00.007-04:00

(Don Henley, Sunset Grill)

You can't buy happiness like this. Actually, you can. It's on sale at Home Depot. Big BIG thanks to Andrea, Michelle and Justin for this big-ass grill they gave us for our wedding gift. I don't think Amanda quite knows what's in store. Our dinners have just been revolutionized. I am now one step closer to becoming Bobby Flay.

That's right. Ribeyes and grilled veggies, for the inauguration. Meet the new boss. And a flip-up beverage holder.

You Criticize the Practice By Murdering Their Plants, Ignoring All The History, Denying Them Romance

2008-04-30T23:02:00.000-04:00

(Vampire Weekend, The Kids Don't Stand a Chance)

I'm feeling a little tired and achy. Sinuses are killing me. I'll try not to let that get in the way of my enjoyment of what will hopefully be a good episode of Top Chef, but all I really want to do is go to bed. It's times like these I wish we had a TV in the bedroom.

Stephanie and Antonia are empowered and ready to fight. New Zealand looks like he's ready for a hit off the gravity bong.

Quickfire Challenge. Oprah's personal chef is the guest judge, and they're loaded up with Uncle Ben's rice. They have to make an entree in 15 minutes, and they get to use microwavable rice. Next week's Quickfire Challenge will be who can make the best PB&J sandwich with Goober Grape. Stephanie makes a seafood pancake, which I would be terrified to order at IHOP. Nikki's fried rice looks awesome. Spike's stuffed tomatoes also look really good, and it seems like Oprah might see them on her dinner table soon. So far everybody's rice dish looks really good except for Antonia's rice salad and New Zealand's miso-glazed turkey, which looks like it has been slimed. Antonia's rice salad takes the prize, which gives her immunity, and Stephanie is in the bottom 3 again at yet another Quickfire Challenge.

Elimination Challenge. A nuritious, delicious meal for a family of four, on a budget of $10. Adding insult to injury, they're still sending them to Whole Foods, with their ten bucks. Maybe they can stock up on the free samples, because ten bucks at Whole Foods ain't going very far, especially with the high price of food for snobs. I don't understand how these people are filling their carts and baskets on ten bucks! I was at Whole Foods today, and you can spend ten bucks there without even touching anything.

They're all getting a little kid as a sous-chef tonight. Hey kid, chop this onion, will ya? This is kind of cute, actually. This is definitely going to add a LOT of likability to some of these chefs. Richard already seems like a good guy. Lisa still seems like a bitch. It's amazing how you throw a kid into the mix and you can immediately cut through the BS of somebody's outward personality and get to who they really are inside. Not surprisingly, all of the chefs seem like really fun, nice people. Not nearly as interesting as the normal drama, but sort of refreshing. I also love that the kids are eating the dishes as well as the judges. The strange thing is, though, that Colleccio is just standing in the kitchen eating each dish, instead of sitting with the judges in the dining area. Maybe he can't sit with them because he's been exposed as a nerd, like Patrick Dempsey at the end of Can't Buy Me Love.

Richard wins the feelgood award for saying that while he wants to win the competition, he loved cooking with the kids, and after seeing Antonia cry when the kids came out (because she missed her own daughter), it made him "want to go home and make some babies. Some little Blaise's." Maybe there's more to him than just a completely ridiculous fauxhawk. I wonder if the little Blaise's are going to all have fauxhawks.

Judges' Table: Andrew, Nikki, and Antonia are the top three of the night. I love my man Andrew, but Antonia's totally winning this one. That's my prediction, which, well, maybe you shouldn't put your money on Antonia just yet. But this has totally been her episode, with her phone call to her daughter, her excitement to be working with kids, etc. And ... MONEY! I AM MONEY!! Finally, I make a prediction that sticks!

Bottom three are Lisa, Stephanie and New Zealand. Let's see if I can keep the streak alive. Lisa's a goner. (Wishful thinking? Absolutely.) I'd be sad to see New Zealand go, because he's like a character from some stoner comedy from down under, and Stephanie, man, she's too good to have been in the bottom three for two weeks in a row. Colleccio says that Lisa's underseasoned beans were shocking. Oprah's cook doesn't like the way she handled criticism. All signs point to ... me hoping she gets the boot. Looks like my streak of correct predictions has ended as quickly as it began, since Lisa is safe and New Zealand is packing his knives and heading, well, back to New Zealand, I guess. He says something about enjoying the experience, but I can't really understand much of what he says, so that's just a guess.

I was going to say that Dale's "FUUUUUU(beep)" from next week was a great way to end the show, but then Andrew mentions that he has a "culinary boner right now." And ... scene.

See, I LOST My Money and I LOST My Wife, Them Things Don't Seem to Matter Much to Me Now

2008-04-25T08:07:00.008-04:00

(Bruce Springsteen, Darkness on the Edge of Town)

Wow, so, it feels good to have Lost back in my life, if only for a few more weeks. This season has been so good that I don't want it to end, and January 2009 seems so far away. Last night's episode was awesome, I thought. A few questions answered, a few new ones to ask. Par for the course, I guess.

1. Everybody saw the code on the invisible sonic fence, right? 1623. THE NUMBERS!! I love the numbers, and while I've sort of resigned myself to the fact that they probably don't have some sort of overarching importance to unlocking any of the show's secrets, I still get all giddy when they show up.

2. The look on Locke's face when the phone rang was priceless. He was like the Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer. "Your ringing voice-transmittal machines scare and confuse me!"

3. The jury's still out on Ben, though I guess it's entirely possible that he's a good guy who is also an enormous douchebag. Sort of like Bill Clinton. I mean, really? Using the "she's not really my daughter, so go ahead and shoot her" angle? The scene when he went to "say goodbye" to her before leaving the barracks was a little forced, but the closeup on Ben's face right after Meaney shot Alex showed, I thought, really excellent acting. The guy's facial expressions are money. (Say what you will about Godfather Part III, but this is how you grieve a daughter who's just been shot in front of you. This gets me every time. The silent weeping of Pacino, man, that's just powerful.)

4. Aside from the Nikki/Paulo debacle of season three, has there been a semi-regular character on this show who contributes less than Charlotte Staples Lewis? All she does is stand around looking surprised and pissed, like somebody crapped in her shoes but she didn't realize it until after she put them on. The other helicopter people are working overtime, man, earning their money. The pilot (the Nick Nolte lookalike), he's a likeable guy who hung out on the boat with Sayid and Desmond until being sent on a run to Costco for more lima beans, Miles has already been imprisoned and released by now, and Daniel Faraday actually seems to be one of the more important characters in the overall explanation of the time/space thing. But Charlotte, man. Do something, already!

5. Ben's flashforward was pretty solid, and opens up a whole new can of worms. October 25, 2005, he checks into a hotel in Tikrit under the name Dean Moriarty, which was the name on the passport that Locke (or Sayid?) found in Ben's little hidden closet earlier in the season, and also happens to be the name of the character in Jack Kerouac's "On The Road." Interesting book. Lots of heroin. Ah, the 60s. Good times. I like how Ben basically manipulated Sayid into practically begging him to give him more people to kill. You can take the torturer out of the Republican Guard, I guess, but you can't take the Republican Guard out of the torturer. That sly smile as Ben was leaving that alley was great. (see: facial expressions, Bens = awesome)

5a. I loved how, when he was in the Sahara and was found by the two dudes patrolling what looks like the worst patrol beat possible, he dispatched of them rather handily with that asp baton. I played with one of those things before, a number of years ago. I was told that they were illegal for personal ownership, but whatever, a friend of mine who will remain nameless (but has lots of weapons, and may or may not be very tall) had one, and I was messing around with it. Trust me when I say that you do NOT want to hit yourself in the head with one of those things. Not even lightly. Please.

5b1. So Ben goes to visit Widmore (the artist formerly known as Caleb Nichol) in the middle of the night, not to kill him, but just to talk a little smack about how he's going to kill Penny (which, btw, I called as soon as they showed "London, England" on the screen at the beginning of the scene), oh, and by the way, Charles, you really shouldn't drink so much scotch. I wonder if he ever considered the fact that these nightmares of his might be scotch-induced? I bet he tried Ambien already but didn't enjoy the side effects. Anyway, here's point number one: He asks "Are you here to kill me?" to which Ben replies, "We both know I can't do that." Why can't Ben kill him? And if we are to believe that Ben really can't kill him (which would also likely mean that Ben also can't arrange for his death or have anyone kill him), then Charles Widmore cannot be the boss of the woman that shot Sayid in the "The Economist" episode earlier in the season, because Sayid was clearly under Ben's orders to kill that man, whenever he finally showed up. So who was that man Sayid was supposed to kill?

5b2. Ben's going to kill Penny, because Widmore "changed the rules" and his men killed Alex. I wonder how Desmond is going to feel about that. And since Sayid is now Ben's angel of death, is he going to send Sayid after Penny? And if he does, will Sayid really kill Penny, especially since he knows who she is after spending time with Desmond on the boat?? And is Desmond going to be there to try to protect her?

I'd have more to say about the smoke monster, Sawyer's new paternalistic sensibilities, or Bernard's convenient Morse Code knowledge, but I need to get some work done.

Update (10:55 am): OH. MY. GOD. I think I just realized why Ben can't kill Charles Widmore. It has been brought to my attention that Ben's flashforward might not have been a flashforward, that it might have been him travelling through time (based on his sickness after waking up in the desert, and asking what year it was at the hotel). If that is the case, he needs a constant, someone who he has a strong emotional connection to. His daughter, Alex, whom he clearly loved (almost enough to save from execution), is dead, so she can't be it. Ben's constant has to be Widmore! He doesn't have to love him, it just has to be a strong connection, and I'd say hate is a pretty strong emotion to attach to someone. And if Ben's constant is Widmore, he can't kill him!! Otherwise, Ben wouldn't be able to time-jump and do his nefarious deeds!!

Am I Happy, Or In Misery? Whatever It Is, That Girl Put A Spell On Me.

2008-04-23T22:00:00.006-04:00

(Jimi Hendrix, Purple Haze)

Let's recap the past three weeks of Top Chef. Three weeks ago, it was a pretty cool episode, but I didn't get to write about it because the computer was (painfully) slowly importing a CD into iTunes. Two weeks ago, the episode was boring me to tears. Last week, I didn't get to watch, and it was an AWESOME episode with two awesome challenges. So this week, since I'm sitting at the computer, it's probably going to be a snoozefest. Either way, though, I'm excited to engage in what Amanda just referred to as my "computer blogging." Evidently my wife is 75 years old. Welcome to the new millennium, sweetheart.

It would be pretty cool if Stephanie won tonight. It was clear to Collecchio, at least, last week, that she is consistently in the top 3. As far as who I'd like to see lose, well, Lisa still holds that honor, though I'm really getting sick of Jennifer saying that she's "doing it for Zoi." Give it a rest, already.

Quickfire Challenge: Padma is wearing a skirt far too tight to be surrounded by all that pastry, but let's be honest, she's not eating any of it anyway. They're making dessert for the Quickfire, and the winner gets to put a recipe in the Top Chef cookbook. Dale is making something called "Halo Halo" (which sounded like "holla holla"), so I definitely hope he wins. That's awesome. Spike wants to show his balls. Ok, yeah, a souffle shows balls, I guess. Antonia, Spike, and New Zealand end up in the bottom three. So much for showing those balls, Spike. Dale is in the top three. Holla! Lisa, much to my chagrin, is also in the top 3, along with Richard's fauxhawk, who overpowers his other contestants by threatening to stab them to death with his hair, and wins the challenge, and gets his recipe in the cookbook. He's got a restaurant here in the ATL. I have GOT to try this place.

Elimination Challenge: This is awesome. They're going to a Second City improv show, which is so cool! New Zealand comments that Richard, of course, is wearing pink. Their challenge seems to be an improv cooking challenge. Awesome. Now this is cool. Lisa says something about being a huge bitch, I think. I don't really listen when she talks anyway. Spike says "Andrew looks at me, I look at him..." Ace and Gary are back, ladies and gentlemen! New Zealand and Nikki have teamed up to make purple depressed bacon, and to help their effort, they're wearing matching sunglasses while shopping for their food. Classy. Dale and Richard are working with green perplexed tofu, and Dale says they bring "perplexing" to the table, which is perplexing in itself. Lisa and Antonia are supposed to make magenta drunk Polish sausage, but they decide to nix that and use chorizo instead. Jennifer and Stephanie are making the orange turned-on asparagus, which actually sounded like the dish I would most like to try to make out of all of tonight's dishes. There's no electrical equipment in the kitchen, though, which is going to make it difficult for Ace & Gary's yellow love vanilla, which they're trying to make into a soup. That actually sounds very disgusting. And, as if on cue, Spike tells Andrew he "knows how to work a sack." Thanks for making this easier for me, Spike.

Improv, huh? Now they have to pack up in 20 minutes and go finish at home, where they will be serving their dishes to the Second City folks. Their house kitchen is tiny, though, and everybody is on top of each other. The whole group seems to love the yellow love vanilla soup. The orange turned-on asparagus has been fashioned into a menage-a-trois of food, which makes everyone at the table laugh like 10-year olds, until they start eating it, because evidently it sucks. The green perplexed tofu seems to be hitting its mark, except Dale told everyone that they bought beef and rendered the beef fat to make it, when actually they just got some beef fat from the grocery store. I hope that doesn't hurt them at Judges' Table. The magenta drunk Polish sausage (sans Polish sausage) goes out and Lisa makes friends with everyone by doing a shot of tequila and not giving any to the guests, and then laughing about it to their face. Please, PLEASE get rid of her! The purple depressed bacon looks pretty good, and they give everyone wine with the dish, and everyone (except Lisa) knows that alcohol is the way to make friends!

Judges' Table: Dale, Spike, Andrew and Richard are called up first, and were the favorites. The soup was a huge hit. Spike says the love is in him all the time, and also in Andrew. What? Dale and Richard are the co-winners of the challenge, and were both in the top 3 of the quickfire - impressive show for them. They each win $2500 worth of Calphalon pots, which I think is like 2 pots. Jen, Stephanie, Antonia, and Lisa (Lisa!) are in the bottom tonight. Man, I've got my fingers crossed right now (which is making it hard to type). I really can't believe Stephanie is in the bottom. She really seems to be killing it week after week. Jen wanted the plate to look phallic. She must really miss Zoi. She's not going to be missing her for much longer, though, because she's packing her knives and going home. Richard seemed surprised (but then again, that's how he always looks), and now he's the only fauxhawk remaining. I can only hope Lisa sucks again next week.

But That Train Keeps-a Rollin On Down to San Antone

2008-04-22T13:20:00.001-04:00

(Johnny Cash, Folsom Prison Blues)

I was discussing the state of the NBA playoffs the other day with my friend Howard, who is a rabid Lakers fan, having gone so far as to buy a tiny Kobe Bryant jersey for his dog, Mocha, presumably in the hopes that other dogs will fear Mocha as a potential rapist and stay the hell away. In any event, we were talking about what makes an NBA dynasty, and if the Lakers would be considered a current NBA dynasty if they were to win the championship this year, which they are certainly well-equipped to do.

Not surprisingly, Howard's opinion is that, if the Lakers win it all this year, they should be regarded as a dynasty. I am of the opinion that they should not. (It is worth noting that Howard is also a UCLA grad, and therefore has a serious dynasty complex.) Of course, over the history of the NBA, the Lakers are certainly a dynasty, but we're only talking about what makes a current dynasty (current meaning over the past 10 years), and under those constraints, they just don't stack up. Let's look at the vital stats:

The Lakers have won three titles in the past 10 years, and made it to the finals a fourth time, missing the playoffs only once within that span. Impressive, but not as impressive as the Spurs' four titles in four trips to the finals, with a current 11-year streak of making the playoffs. The Lakers and the Spurs both won their titles under the direction of the same coaches, Jackson and Popovich, respectively, but the Lakers' "three-peat"* was a Shaq/Kobe driven run, and that nucleus was irreparably dismantled when the team inexplicably stood by (see: wrong horse, backing) while Shaquille O'Neal, one of the most likeable players in the history of the NBA, was thrown under the bus by the Eagle County Rapist, who spent the next 5 years constantly demanding trades and threatening to play elsewhere. The Spurs have ridden Tim Duncan's back to all four of their titles, with longtime nice-guy David Robinson retiring after the first one, and a solid nucleus of Duncan, Tony Parker, and my personal favorite, Manu Ginobli (who could just as easily have played soccer for the Italian World Cup team, if he wasn't from Argentina), for their last three.

My point being, the Spurs team was largely in tact throughout their dynastic run, and still is, with the exception of the Admiral, and that is a team that has brought home two regular season MVP awards (both for Duncan) and one coach of the year award for Popovich, as opposed to no coach of the year awards for Jackson, and only one MVP award for the Lakers, for Shaquille, who isn't even there anymore, and went on to win another title on his own a few years ago (though Kobe may very well win the MVP this year).

True, the Lakers did win three in a row in 2000, 2001, and 2002, which was impressive, and at that point, qualified them as dynastic. And if they win this year, that will make four titles in the past 10 years, but in my opinion, to be a true sports dynasty, a team cannot have a drought between titles that is longer than the number of titles they have won, within a certain period. And the dealbreaker for the Lakers, even if they win this year, will be that they had a dry spell of 5 years between their 3rd and 4th championship. The Spurs, on the other hand, have already won four times in the past 9 years, but even if you discount their first win because of the shortened NBA season (which I do not), they have still won three championships in the past five years. That alone makes the Spurs a current NBA dynasty, regardless of what you think of the 1998-1999 season. And it is for that reason, above all others, that even if the Lakers win this year, it can only be the start of a new potential dynasty, rather than a continuation of an established one. Sorry, Howard.

* - Please don't sue me, Pat Riley!

What Would You Do If I Sang Out of Tune, Would You Stand Up and Walk Out On Me?

2008-04-17T12:10:00.004-04:00

(The Beatles, With a Little Help From My Friends)

So, as mentioned in my previous post, I did not watch Top Chef last night (though it is still being held within the safe harbor of my DVR for later viewing), opting for a viewing of There Will Be Blood instead. Wow, what a movie. I mean, this was awesome. I will have to write about it soon, I think.

However, I was ecstatic to get the following email from my friend and former roommate, Josh, this morning, and this is just too fun to not post in place of my weekly review. Come to think of it, this episode was tailor-made for Josh, as he is not only a force to be reckoned with in the kitchen, he's also the biggest Bears fan I know, which makes sense, considering the fact that he was born and raised in LA.

Though I haven't watched the show yet, I do have to say that I find Josh's final comment a bit disheartening, and in stark contrast to my own desires. But that might just speak to the demographic of the Bravo network's viewership.

Bear Down, Josh. Thanks for getting my back.
____________________________________________________

Ben -
Since you didn't review this ep of Top Chef yet, I did it for you.
Actually, I was just so jazzed after watching the episode, that I had to write about it. So I used your format.
(Feel free to quote any of it you want.)
- josh
--------------

Title: Make every play pave the way to victory!

("Bear Down," Chicago Bears Fight Song)

First of all, I have to say that this may have been my favorite Top Chef episode, ever. (And I've seen every episode of Top Chef, and I've loved a lot of them.) A few reasons:

1. I finally feel like there are some cheftestants that I like.

2. It was a good cooking challenge, and the people who aced it seem to have really aced it. (That's hard to know for sure as a viewer, since I didn't taste the food... but I'm taking Chef Tom's word for it.)

3. The Bears. The Bears. The Bears. Especially Gale Sayers and the Fridge. The frickin' Fridge. My only complaint about the whole episode is that he should have been the guest judge. His nickname is a piece of kitchen equipment for frick's sake.

OK... On to my thoughts.

The Quickfire
The whole idea of the quickfire challenge was to have each chef pick a kind of beer, and then whip up a dish to go with it. It was cool that they got to pick the beers, and it was definitely cool to see them all (in all their cheffy snootiness) look a little intimidated by a bar full of beer. Beer, beer, beer.

I'm a little irked that Jen won it, because I think she's annoying and I was sick of her whole "I miss my girlfriend" shtick about eight seconds into the episode. I also wasn't all that interested in eating her food. It seemed a little too easy to me, and it wasn't as well thought-out as Stephanie's.

Speaking of Stephanie's dish... Wow. She tasted her beer (Hoegaarden, one of my favorite beers), and picked a food that went with it. She also used some of the beer in the dish. The clincher for me: Hoegaarden is usually served with a slice of orange, and she used citrus in the dish. Perfect. It made the guest judge's top three, so it could of won. And it should of. Jen annoys me. This challenge sealed Stephanie as my favorite female cheftestant.

Also, I'm hesitant to bring up the following, because it's probably not a fair criticism. It's even less so after the inappropriate (bigoted?) lesbian comment Spike made after Jen won (which totally should not have been put on the air). But the judge was a butch chick with tattoos, and she picked the dish by the butch lesbian contestant. I think -- all things being equal -- that might have given Jen that little edge she needed. Then again, maybe I'm just bitter because I wish Stephanie won. Also, some of my best friends are butch lesbians.

Elimination Challenge
Rena was watching with me. The minute Padma announced what the challenge was, I said to her: "The smart ones do sandwiches, chicken wings, sausages, and ribs." The chicken wings didn't make the top three (and they didn't really get mentioned after the clip of him buying wings at the bucther's counter), but they were a great idea. Nikki's sausage were a good idea horribly executed. And ribs and a sandwich made the top three.

Lets start the analysis with the bottom three.

Mark gets a lot of credit in my book for a few reasons. First, even though he's from New Zealand and (presumably) knows little about tailgating, he understood the essence of a midwest tailgate in cold weather. He served grilled food (skewered meat), slaw, and a warm soup. Good idea. Second, he gets a shitload of credit for cooking on charcoal. Colicchio mentioned this at judges table as a flavor decision (as if the rest of the chefs chose gas because they didn't need the flavor of charcoal). That's crap. The rest of the cheftestants chose gas because it was easier. Gas doesn't need to be hand-lit. No coals that need TLC. No heat management. Lots of horizontal grill space. Charcoal, on the other hand, is how real men cook. (And -- if my chauvinism bugs you -- it's also how real midwesterners cook. This is Chicago, not Napa. Coal, coal, coal.) Mark -- the Australian for gossakes -- cooked like a true tailgater. He botched the execution, but he deserved to live for another week.

Much was also made of Mark's being sloppy and unsanitary. I get that all these guys are professional chefs who cook in professional kitchens, and they take this stuff seriously. They should take this stuff seriously. But lets get a grip for a sec. Mark is cooking on a finicky grill, outside, surrounded by hundreds of rabid Bears fans. This is how manly men football fans cook. Taste the sauce, then put the spoon back? No problem! Come on, Chef Tom. Get a grip.
Nikki blew this challenge much more than Mark. She didn't really cook anything. She sautéd some freakin' peppers and onions? Any moron can do that. Store bought sausage? Nothing to see here, folks. Just a lady cooking food that anyone can make in their own kitchen with virtually no effort. They were right that she should have made her own sausages, and they were right that she should have made a more complicated dish.

But at least she understands what to serve at a tailgate.

Dooooshbag McGee, err, Ryan, deserved to go home. Poached pears at a tailgate? When Padma announced the challenge, he told the confessional camera that he's a metrosexual who doesn't do sports and doesn't do tailgating food. He's a sophisticate. He's a snob. He's an idiot who somehow convinces himself that if he cooks his hoity toity poached pears with créme fresh well enough, the peasants of Soldier Field will suddenly see the light, put down their polish sausages, and start eating haute cuisine. (I have this image of Alec Baldwin trying to serve shweddy balls to the Superfans.) He deserved to go because he's an idiot, and because his food was boring, even for his kind of food. Poached pears? Seriously?

As for the winners...

I kinda like Antonia. She's got this can-do spirit, and she's always smiling. She also seems really normal. Of all the contestants, she's the one who would fit in with me and my friends. Her dish looked pretty cool, and doing a sandwich was smart. Doing a sophisticated -- but not too sophisticated and not too scary for Bears fans -- sandwich was even smarter. Colicchio says she should have put the pineapple and the banana on the sandwich. I don't believe that fruit goes on pizza or on sandwiches. So I agreed with Antonia, personally. Also, I'm not sure tropical flavors were right on for a Bears tailgate. (Then again, Dale did it too, and I was very impressed by him, so whatever.)

I've already said that I like Stephanie. I like that she's humble. I like that she's thoughtful and smart. I like that she's friendly. I like that she doesn't try to use fancy gadgets or weird abstract concept dishes. She just cooks. And she cooks food that looks like I want to eat it, pretty much every time. Her pork dish looked really great. Tenderloin is easy to do on the grill (bravo for a good choice at the bucther), and bacon and potatoes go together like... like lamb and tuna fish. (Maybe you like spaghetti and meatball? You more comfortable with that analogy? But I digress.) She's this season's Casey, but maybe better. And the judges are noticing. She should go very far.

Dale deserved to win this competition. First, he made ribs. Second, he made them with strong flavors. Third, the Fridge loved his ribs. I was very proud of him. He started off the episode on a bad foot, with the half-ass apology to Lisa that was all the more awkward with the camer man hanging out over his shoulder. And then he had to endure being in the bottom of the quickfire challenge. But he redeemed himself, and he won me over with his boyish glee at being at Soldier Field, and his heartfelt appreciation when he realizes that he's standing right in front of Gale Sayers. As the only cheftestant who recognized Gale Sayers, he deserved to win the challenge. Other things I like about him: He's got incredible knife skills (see the Quickfire a couple of weeks ago, when he pulled out the "Vegan Sashimi Platter"), which I admire. Last week he argued against doing lame Asian flavors to please Ming Tsai, even though he's the token Asian guy on the show. He doesn't like Lisa, and neither do I.

So now I have two favorites. Stephanie is just plain likable, and Dale is a fellow Bears fan who cooks cool food. And I like Antonia too. She's got a restaurant in LA that Sara and I should try.

Other random comments:

- Andrew loses points for the "When was the last time they won the Superbowl?" comment. Not that its a problem that he doesn't know about football. Virtually none of them do. But don't pretend to be a Bears fan, then ask the question. Any fan of any team knows the last time their team won the championship. It's a lose-lose question. If the Bears had won last year, he looks like an idiot for not knowing. If they haven't won in a while (like, say, 23 years), he pisses off the fans. I have to say that I like Andrew for marching to the beat of his own drummer, but I think he needs to stop saying stupid things at every opportunity. Also, was Gail flirting with him?

- It would have been awesome if Dale took his prize Bears jersey and asked, "Um, what am I gonna do with my name on a Brad Maynard jersey?" Anyone else think it was weird that all the judges wore the punter's number? Like I said, woulda been cooler if Fridge had been the guest judge, and then they all could have worn 72.

- Why does anyone care if the guys like to hang out in the tub? The awkward thing wasn't that they were in the tub together, but that the producers tried to get milage out the whole "straight guys acting gay" thing. It wasn't funny, and it was uncomfortable. What if they were two gay guys? Or two girls (gay or not)?

- Nikki can't last much longer. She just isn't that talented of a chef.

- My current guess at the final four: Stephanie, Dale, Richard, Antonia. I can't stand Richard, and I'm glad we barely saw him (and his freakin' paté burgers... Just call them pork burgers and get over yourself, asswipe), but I think he's going far.

- Antonia says on the Top Chef website that her favorite recipe is baby beets with goat cheese, which has been my favorite food for the last few months (because it turns your poop purple).

- You know something about this show's audience when more people responded to the survey that they'd rather touch Tom than Padma.

Blood Runs Through Your Veins, That's Where Our Similarity Ends

2008-04-16T20:01:00.003-04:00

(Editors, Blood)

Just so nobody freaks out (Brandy), I'm not going to be watching Top Chef tonight, b/c we're headed over to casa de bloomfield to watch There Will Be Blood. I have to say, I'm very excited to see this movie, in no small part due to Daniel Day Lewis's robust mustache, and I'll check out Top Chef as soon as I can.

Well Can't You See Me Standing Here, I've Got My Back Against the Record Machine

2008-04-11T11:58:00.003-04:00

(Van Halen, Jump)

I never really liked the Lakers much (though I did enjoy sitting almost courtside once, thanks to a friend whose boss liked to splurge on tickets), and as much as I'm sort of anti-Kobe Bryant, you can't argue with the fact that he's one of the top 3 players in the NBA today.

Also, you can't argue with this. This is unreal. It's hard to tell if this is rigged or not. If it is, then screw him, he's still a douchebag. If it's not, then he is Superman, and if I'm in the Laker's front office, I'm going to have a talk with him about not doing ridiculously stupid things, no matter how unbelievably cool they might look.

But yeah, this is just unreal.

I Wanted to See You Walking Backwards and Get the Sensation of You Coming Home

2008-04-10T13:10:00.009-04:00

(Counting Crows, Time and Time Again)

After a week of listening to the new Counting Crows album, Saturday Nights & Sunday Mornings (buy it on Amazon), I think I'm ready to make my thoughts public. I realize I might have been a bit harsh on R.E.M., after only one day's worth of listening, and I wanted to be a bit more even-keeled for this one. Counting Crows, at one point, were also my favorite band, and still occupy a special place in my heart and mind. They were my primary soundtrack for the summer of 1999, which I spent in Israel as a counselor for 40 or so 16-year old kids, who really were a great group to be around. That's also when I became friends with Dave and Wendi, and over the years, the three of us have spent a great deal of time listening to and talking about the Crows, and calling each other from their concerts. Somehow, Dave even ended up backstage last year. That's him in the blue, trying not to let Adam Duritz's sweat drip on him.

Though the Crows aren't my favorite anymore, Amanda says they're still her favorites. She's seen them more often than I have, which means more than twice. We saw them together in LA, and it was an awesome show, much better than I thought it would be, because they mainly stuck to the meat of their first two albums, which stack up against anybody's. August and Everything After is as good of a debut album as it gets, and is probably in my top ten favorite albums of my generation. Recovering the Satellites was a great follow-up, and although This Desert Life and Hard Candy had some good songs on them, they weren't really up to par when measured against those first two.

It's hard to believe that Saturday Nights & Sunday Mornings is only their fifth studio album. The problem is, I can't be totally objective about it. I can try, but I won't really get there, not completely. I even decided years ago that if I had a daughter, I wanted to name her Elizabeth, after Goodnight Elizabeth, but Amanda put the kibosh on that idea (though I'm still holding on in the hopes that I can wear her down by the time we have kids). I guess I just have too much of a sentimental connection to their music, but isn't that what music's all about, for the most part?

The bottom line is, I really like this album. I really like it. And I really like it for some of the same reasons that Amanda is disappointed by it. Part of what I love about their music (primarily August and Satellites) is their imagery. They repeatedly refer to the same places, the same girls, the same dreams of Michelangelo, which gives their music a common thread and keeps it all tied together and interrelated. To me, that's awesome. And they'd sort of gone away from that in their later work, but on Saturday Nights, they've brought that aspect back into the fold, and I couldn't be happier. Amanda thinks that's lazy of them, to rely on old names and phrases instead of thinking of new material, which I guess is valid, but since that's one of my favorite aspects of their music, it's not a position I hold. To each his (her) own.

I will freely admit that it's not 100% a great album. In fact, some of the songs are downright terrible, but strangely enough, even thinking that sort of makes me happy. I do like the fact that they put the terrible songs at the very beginning of the album, which is ballsy, but we get them out of the way early. 1492 is just too hard and disjointed. It's this album's Children in Bloom (which, over time, I have come to enjoy as well). Hanging Tree and Sundays are both almost good songs, they're just not quite there. Maybe a little too much like Hanging Around, or maybe a little too Shrek-esque. I do like Los Angeles, though. Great song, and it really is a good place to find yourself a taco. I also enjoy Insignificant a lot. And once we get into the middle of the album, the tempo slows a bit and the warmth of their imagery just sort of washes over you. I know, that sounds pretty cheesy. I told you I couldn't be objective, remember?

The highlights of the album are all in the second half. Washington Square is a great song, and is already one of my favorites in their catalog. It's this album's answer to Sullivan Street, just a great conflicted song about home, which you have to take for its good and its bad. When I Dream of Michelangelo is another one that belongs up there with Round Here and, naturally, Angels of the Silences. And, just to prove that it's not only the slow songs that jump out at me, I absolutely love the bonus track Sessions, which is an awesome bluesy rock song about psychiatry and prescription mood-altering medication.

I love that this album is a return to what made their first few albums great. To me, that's worth the sacrifice of "new" material, and it also makes the wait since their last album worthwhile. Listening to this album takes me back 10, 15 years. For an hour and 20 minutes, that's just fine with me.

Lord Knows When the Cold Wind Blows It'll Turn Your Head Around

2008-04-09T23:01:00.000-04:00

(James Taylor, Fire and Rain)

I missed last Wednesday's writeup. Sorry, Brandy. The computer was tied up. I haven't even posted anything since that afternoon, so after a week off, I'm feeling a little rusty. We'll see how it goes...

Zoi is pissed that she got called out last week, but I bet she wouldn't trade places with Manuel, so she should relax a bit.

Quickfire Challenge: Guest Judge Ming Tsai from Boston's Blue Ginger restaurant is here to help ruin somebody's life this week. And, to make my point, he immediately says that somebody without a sensitive pallette might as well pack their knives and go home. Weird. They're not cooking anything, they're just smelling and tasting 2 different things, and trying to notify which is the high-end product. Padma blindfolds Ryan, and I really wish I was a contestant on this show. He kills it. Stephanie likes the cheap crab meat. Richard did well, but they forgot to blindfold his fauxhawk. My man Andrew didn't do so well, but Stephanie took the lowest score. Ryan and Jen tied for second place, and Zoi complains about being beaten by her lover. Welcome to Halle Berry's world, sweetheart. Antonia wins immunity, which means we have to wait at least one more week before she gets kicked off and leaves more interesting people to watch.

Elimination Challenge: Earth, Wind, and Fire. And Water. And, not really wind, but Air. They're working in teams based on the elements, and Andrew and Richard are on the same team AGAIN! This is starting to look a little rigged. Spike is upset about being on a team with Antonia, which is a valid concern, because she could saute dog poo and not get kicked off this week. Lisa gets called out by Dale as being very negative, which is a very generous description. She's like a grown up female Napoleon Dynamite. I hope tonight is her night.

They're cooking for Meals on Wheels, so naturally they're going to spend 37 times more than they should on food from Whole Foods. That's like Al Gore taking a private jet to a Live Earth concert. Lisa wants to knock Ming Tsai's pants off with Asian food. I've got a feeling she's not going to nail it as well as he could, and she has now voiced her unhappiness approximately 95 times since they walked into the store. Her teammates are legitimately frightened by her right now. There's no way they're going to be successful in this challenge, and Stephanie and Dale are going to throw her right under the bus. That's my prediction, which probably means she's safe this week.

Andrew, Richard and New Zealand decide to cook in a different room from everyone else, presumably because Andrew wants to stab Richard with his own fauxhawk without other people watching on. Spike doesn't seem to be on a very good team tonight, and he's wearing some sort of bamboo baseball cap, which is almost as weird as the yellow fedora he usually wears, which I think he stole from the Dick Tracy costume department. Dale doesn't like Lisa's "observational negativity," which is code for "she's a complete bitch." Nikki tells her team that when they curse, it draws attention to them. Clearly she hasn't been listening to anyone all season, because this group makes my conversational style seem G-rated. Richard thinks his team needs to have a strong rapport with Colleccio, and then immediately creeps him out, which is like, Pot, meet Kettle. You're black.

Maybe I'm just tired, but the part of the show where they're plating and serving the food is just boring the crap out of me tonight. Richard left scales on all the salmon pieces. The "fire" shrimp dish goes over well, and looks awesome. Team Air is happy with their product, which Nikki emphasizes by wearing a weird beehive hairdo. Hello, 1957.

Judges' Table: Fire Team gets called out first, because their shrimp dish was awesome, and also because I predicted that they were going to lose and get Lisa kicked off. Why am I so BAD at this?!? Stephanie did the shrimp, Lisa did the bacon, Dale must have just been there for moral support. And the winner is ... Lisa. I am such a f'ing idiot. And, I'm also pissed, because she SUCKS!! Dale is bitter. I feel your pain, brother.

The worst teams are Earth and Water. Could Richard be on his way back to the ATL because of his scaly salmon? All of the judges are pissed about the scales, and Richard is scared out of his mind, but that's how he always looks, because of that damn fauxhawk. New Zealand takes credit for the parsnip, but he can't really justify its use. He might as well have smeared vegemite all over the place. Zoi says her teams concern was that they didn't want to overpower the meat. Yeah, right, babe. No one's buying that. And, yes, I am a 12-year old.

Wow, right before the commercial, Dale goes balls to the wall, yelling at Lisa. Clearly, he wasn't kidding about the bitterness. But, I don't disagree with him in the least. She is a bitch, it's a scientific fact. Look it up, if you don't believe me.

Goodbye, Ruby Tuesday. Also, Goodbye Zoi. Wow. Looks like I was about 2 weeks early with that one, huh? Jen is pissed. Richard is crying. I am tired. Spike is yelling at Antoinia. Antonia is yelling at Spike. Jen is yelling at Spike, and a little scary in doing so. Dale is yelling at Lisa, while gripping his sack. Jen starts kicking over chairs like she's a member of Motley Crue. Lot of tension here, and I love it! Can't wait for next week.

The Last Thing I Remember Was Climbing Up the Stairs, I Threw the Window Open In Challenge and Despair

2008-04-02T13:33:00.009-04:00

(R.E.M., Accelerate)

REM has long been one of my favorite bands. In high school, they were THE band, for sure my favorite, hands down, above all others. I even went to one of their concerts my sophomore year of college BY MYSELF, because I couldn't find anyone else that wanted to go, but I needed to see them that badly that I was willing to go stand there alone and enjoy the music. And it was unreal. Since college, though, I haven't listened to them much, possibly because the albums they have put out since New Adventures In Hi-Fi (1996) have been about as much fun as listening to John Kerry talk about just about anything.

That's why I was super-excited for the release of Accelerate, their 14th studio album, and first since 2004's Around the Sun. I'd heard that it was a more upbeat, rock-driven album. Even the title suggested that the band was kicking it up a notch. I read yesterday that Pitchfork gave it a 6.7 out of 10, which I figured was just their usual snobbery talking, and I'd decide for myself. I downloaded (legally, of course) the album after I got home from work yesterday, and over the course of the past 20 hours or so, I've listened to it about four times. And I have to say, I think Pitchfork might have nailed it.

I don't want to say this was a lazy effort by the band, because I don't think it was, but I read that they made a conscious effort not to "overtinker" the songs on this album, and I think these songs might have benefitted from a bit more tinkering, or at least some "let's sleep on this album for a few weeks and really think about it before it's release."

Accelerate, the title track, is a good one and my early favorite. I also like Houston and Until the Day is Done. I don't know if I like those best because they are the best, or because they are the 5th, 6th, and 7th songs on the album, which I hear after the initial feeling of disappointment fades, but before it picks up again toward the end of the album. The two bonus tracks stand out as well, but not on their own merit. Redhead Walking lifts the drum beat directly from Santana's Oye Como Va, and Airliner is a 50's-ish guitar/drum collaboration, without lyrics, that brings to mind their own Underneath the Bunker, from Life's Rich Pageant, released in 1986, which is kind of a shame, because the association only makes me think about what a far superior album Pageant was (probably their second best, and only because nothing is going to overtake 1987's Document).

It is definitely an improvement on their last three albums, though. And they've definitely remedied whatever doldrums they'd been stuck in, as most of the songs are fast, fuel-injected, and heavy on the guitar. I like it, but I don't love it. Maybe the lyrics are a bit forced, or maybe they're better suited, at this point in their careers, making the music that comes natural to them, but these songs don't feel too natural. The songs are all pretty short (half of them checking in at under 3 minutes), but they feel a little pushy. I don't want to be pushed through a rock and roll song, I want to be pulled into it. I want to be led. Bruce Springsteen doesn't push you into a rock song. Bono doesn't push you, he pulls you in with both hands.

I bring up Bono and The Boss, though, because I think I might like Accelerate a little better in a few months. When U2 released How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb in 2004, I wasn't a huge fan. But after a few listens, then shelving it for a year or two before breaking it out again, I rediscovered it with a much greater sense of appreciation, and now I probably listen to it more than any of their other albums aside from The Joshua Tree (which will go down in history as the greatest album of my generation). I had a similar (but speedier) experience with Bruce Springsteen's Magic, released last year. On the first few listens, I thought it was a good but not great album, with not enough "classic" in the classic rock. But over the past two or three months, it's been heavy in my rotation, and I would even go so far as to say that three or four of the songs on the album are some of his greats.

So, bottom line, it's a step in the right direction. Hopefully I'll have the chance to see them when they pass through Atlanta later this summer, and hopefully Accelerate will grow on me a bit. I have a feeling it probably will, but for now, I might have to let it steep a bit more.

In the meantime, in honor of the release of their 14th studio album, here's a list of my Top 14 favorite REM songs, in no particular order. Enjoy.

I Believe (Life's Rich Pageant)
Radio Free Europe (Murmur)
The One I Love (Document)
Disturbance At the Heron House (Document)
Fall On Me (Life's Rich Pageant)
Don't Go Back to Rockville (Reckoning)
Get Up (Green)
Driver 8 (Fables of the Reconstruction)
Try Not to Breathe (Automatic For the People)
Nightswimming (Automatic For the People)
Exhuming McCarthy (Document)
Man On the Moon (Automatic For the People)
Crush With Eyeliner (Monster)
Orange Crush (Green)

I've Got to Admit It's Getting Better, A Little Better All The Time

2008-04-01T09:39:00.003-04:00

(The Beatles, Getting Better)

And, in case you're interested, longtime Clinton-hater Christopher Hitchens has yet another scathing article about her on Slate.

It's a Telltale Sign, When It's Chairs Up and Time To Go

2008-03-28T09:44:00.005-04:00

(Uncle Tupelo, Slate)

God bless Slate. They're giving us a "Hillary Deathwatch" daily update with her chances of winning the Democratic nomination. Proof that somebody out there loves me. My faith in the natural order of things is on its way to restoration.

In other news, let's all put on our favorite burnt orange and root, root, root for the Longhorns tonight against Stanford and their twin towers.

They Know My Name Cause I Told It To Them, But They Don't Know Where and They Don't Know When

2008-03-27T18:38:00.004-04:00

(The Arcade Fire, Keep the Car Running)

Anyone who knows me knows of my seemingly constant problems with the automobile species. I have had the worst luck with cars over the years. Even when I lived in New York and didn't drive a car, EVER, I still had car troubles. Might sound impossible, but I assure you, nothing is impossible.

Anyway, it will come as no surprise to anyone that my car is back in the shop as of this morning, thanks to the fine folks at Superior Towing. I spoke with them earlier this afternoon, they were going to change the battery and then see if there was anything else wrong. Marvelous. So, at worst, I'm probably looking at around a $250 bill for the towing, battery, labor, and oil change (for good measure).

One day, when I'm fabulously wealthy, I don't ever want to own a car. I never really understood the benefit of a 3-year lease on a car, but it's looking more and more appealing to me every day.

The Name is D, Y'all, and I Don't Play. And I Can Rock a Block Party Till Your Hair Turns Grey.

2008-03-26T23:32:00.000-04:00

(Beastie Boys, Pass the Mic)

Previously on Top Chef: Zoi and Jennifer know each other from San Francisco and are a couple. The fact that they just showed that again makes me think that either one of them is going to be packing her knives and going this week, or maybe they have a fight or have to compete head to head or something. Let's get rolling...

Andrew and Spike are acting really flirty with each other, while doing bad Borat impressions. Maybe they're sick of Zoi and Jennifer having the market cornered on the gayness. Either that, or their beards have some sort of gravitational pull towards each other. Guest judge is Chicago chef Rick Bayless, who has won "many beard awards." Is that for real? Do they televise these beard awards? Who votes on them? Are these even food awards, or are they just awards for like, the best beard, the longest beard, things like that? I doubt it, but it would be awesome if that were true. And it would also be good news for Spike and Andrew. And this dude at the right would win for sure. Plus, Beard Bayless doesn't even have a beard, but he does have a weird looking chin. (Interestingly, or not, I noticed that he does actually have some facial hair, as a mustache, a bit of stubble on his chin, and a soul patch. I hope with all of my soul that he didn't win some sort of beard award with that. I would lose all faith in beard awards if that happened.)

Quickfire Challenge: Tacos. Advantage to Zoi and Jennifer! (Sorry, couldn't pass that one up.) They have 30 minutes to make a taco. My God, even I could do this. Manuel starts chopping up some cactus, which could be pretty cool. Spike is going to make "street food", and Andrew thinks he's going to win because of his crazy ideas and f-bombs. Richard wants to reinvent the taco, using jicama as the taco shell, and he's going to plate it inside his fauxhawk and have the judges eat it right off his head. New Zealand says something nearly unintelligible, but it was probably astute. Padma likes Manuel's taco (about time, man!), and Beard Bayless loves Andrew's duck taco. Spike carries his Borat impression over with a half-assed "success!" when The Beard says he likes his "street taco." Eric was called out because his plate looked rough, but he doesn't think fine dining goes with Mexican food and offers The Beard the option of screwing himself. I think he'd rather have a better taco, but I don't presume to know his inner thoughts.

Andrew is placed in the top 3, and he makes a face like he just tried to fart but accidentally let a few escapees past the guards, if you know what I mean. I wish I could find a still of that picture. Man, it would be great right here. He also liked Richard's and Spike's. I knew he was going to pick Spike and Andrew. It's the "Beard Episode!!" In a surprise move, though, he picks Richard's jicama taco. Seems like a not-too-subtle way to show those 2 beards whose beard is boss.

Richard wins immunity, and they all divide into two teams and take a field trip. Zoi and Jennifer both end up on the Red Team, which makes Jennifer happy. Zoi says they know each other's pallette's better than anyone else. I bet that's not all they know better than anyone else. Also, I have no idea how to spell pallette. Red Team also has the beard brothers, Spike and Andrew. Blue Team, otherwise known alternatingly as "team boring" or "team douchebag," ends up with Nikki, Stephanie, Lisa, Manuel, New Zealand, and Richard's fauxhawk. I wish New Zealand was on Red Team.

Elimination Challenge: They're sort of catering an annual block party in some Chicago neighborhood, having something to do with mealstogether.com, whatever that is. Ah, here's the challenge. They're not "shopping" for this challenge in the store, they have to go door to door and collect groceries from the neighborhood residents. What a drag. I'm sure the neighbors are going to love that, and not at all be pissed off enough to complain to their city councilman. Jennifer absolutely cleans out some old couple. They took 7 bags of food from this one house! Nikki says one of her signature dishes is mac and cheese. Maybe I was jumping the gun a bit when I thought she was awesome for making her own pasta 2 weeks ago. Mac & cheese?

Andrew and Spike and their beards rummage through some lady's pantry together, and I might as well start referring to them as Ace and Gary whenever they do anything together. Spike (Gary?) says she must have been stocking up in case of a World War, in which case, it's a good thing you're cleaning her out before D-Day. The lady's daughter is afraid of them, and so am I. Spike keeps doing the Borat thing. And not well. Richard wants to go "upscale," which to him means not hamburgers and hot dogs. Zoi wants to do corn dogs. Good thing they're on different teams.

Nikki's working on her mac & cheese, and Richard is throwing together a paella for Padma, Tom, Ted Allen, and Beard Bayless, caring not about the residents of the neighborhood whose block party he's cooking for. Andrew throws out another Borat "success!" The fact that they're keeping this up, and that they're so bad at it, it's actually growing on me, and I'm started to enjoy it. Eric is working on corn dogs and Zoi knows she's not going to win Top Chef by making pasta salad, but alas, such is her lot today.

Colleccio in Blue. He asks Nikki what's in their "sexy drink" (which I was kind of wondering myself), and she tells him it's simple syrup with lavender and citrus, which will be carbonated on site. Colleccio asks, "What makes that sexy?" to which Nikki replies "the lavender," with a shrug that makes it seem like a question rather than an answer. Way to be bold, Nikki. Now get back to that mac & cheese. To be fair, though, Colleccio doesn't seem like he'd know sexy if it grabbed hold of his balls and led him around the room by his scrotum, so I can't really fault Nikki too much for not knowing how to handle his question better. He's a bit of a weirdo. He then completely freaks out Jennifer and Ryan, who have chosen to leave mayonnaise out of their Waldorf because it's hot outside, by telling them that it's the mayonnaise that keeps everything fresh. That, and the sexy lavender, right Tommy Boy?? They're all a little worried about their food holding up in transit. And...utensils down, hands up.

(I just realized this episode's only halfway over and I've already written a ton. Man, this is going to be long. Sorry)

Ace and Gary are really excited about this block party, and Richard's fauxhawk enjoys the cheering crowds. No one will be surprised to learn that the corn dogs are, in fact, soggy, and the mac & cheese is, in fact, gross from sitting around. Padma shows up with The Beard, Colleccio, and Ted Allen. Manuel is gung ho about this, and I really hope he does well tonight. Andrew tells some kid that his sliders are full of awesomeness, and I like to think that's true. Aside from the soggy corn dogs and the crap & cheese, everything else REALLY looks and sounds good. Even the sexy lavender drink, which puts a big creepy smile on Colleccio's face.

Spike explains his "smores on a stick" in his bad Borat accent, which Ted Allen immediately mistakes for a bad French accent, after which Andrew starts jumping up and down like a monkey on cocaine. Ace and Gary are loving this party, and they start dunking basketballs on a 7-foot goal with a bunch of 4 year olds. I mean, like a bunch of 4 year olds.

Judges Table: Padma asks for the Blue Team. Ace, Gary, Zoi and Jennifer don't like this at all. They usually call the best out first to congratulate them, and I was confused as well, because it clearly seemed like the Red Team killed that challenge. Andrew even goes so far as to drop an f-bomb, which is just so out of character for him. Nikki says nobody was the team leader and takes responsibility for her mac & cheese, which The Beard says turned into a brick. Richard admits that his paella wasn't exactly a paella. Then the judges COMPLETELY shock me by saying that the Blue Team was the winning team. Man, I am floored by this. Stephanie gets the win for this one, for some reason, but either way, it's her second win in three challenges. Not bad, Stephanie.

Red Team goes out and Stephanie does some weird dance when they leave the room. At least she's not a sore winner. This could be bad for the Zoi/Jennifer and Ace/Gary gay couples. Spike says he thought they kicked ass, which I did as well. Eric is getting killed over the corn dogs. He may be out, because he seems to be getting killed every week. Spike keeps talking about how surprised he is that they're there. Colleccio says if they all tasted Zoi's pasta salad and liked it, then they must have poor pallets. Yikes, didn't see that coming at all. Andrew then tells Colleccio that if he wants him to go home, he's going to have to drag him out with security guards, because "this is MY house." Really? Actually, I'm pretty sure this is Colleccio's house. Padma then dismisses the team somewhat angrily.

The weakest dishes are the Waldorf, the corn dogs, and the pasta salad. They all hate the pasta salad. Hey, has it been mentioned that Zoi and Jennifer know each other from San Francisco and are a couple? Because if not, it's worth mentioning while there's still time. Zoi then drops about 17 f-bombs in the back room while talking to her team. Not looking good. WOW! I am off tonight, because it's Eric, not Zoi, who is packing his knives and going. Man. MAN! I'm shocked and a little pissed that I was so wrong. I'm not going to miss him, though, because he didn't really seem to do anything all that good in the 3 episodes he was still around for.

The previews for next week look like more rough going for Zoi, which probably means it will be Ryan or somebody else that's not Zoi who gets kicked off. I'm an idiot.

The Tainted Election, The Low Dirty War, It Happened Before You Came To

2008-03-25T13:04:00.013-04:00

(The Decemberists, Cocoon)

Hillary Clinton is KILLING me. And I'm not thrilled that Bill Clinton has turned into Karl Rove over the past 2 months either. She will seeminly go anything it takes to become president. I have no problem with a woman president, and I recognize that HRC is probably qualified to serve as president, but it's not her politics or her qualifications I am at odds with. It's just her. It's her shady, manipulative, "fight dirty to win as long as you win" attitude that absolutely sends me into a rage.

Never mind the fact that she was mixed up in a Whitewater scandal that everyone seems to have forgotten about, which culminated in a highly publicized suicide, or that she won't release her tax returns, even though Obama has released his. She is taking supreme advantage of Obama's pledge to remain above dirty politics by slinging as much mud as her chicken wing arms can sling.

Interested in a Clinton/Obama ticket? Absolutely! Anything to win over the Obama supporters and delegates and superdelegates who have already voted in his favor, especially considering the fact that she's behind in the numbers and at the polls. Forget the fact that she's in second place, or that the Obama campaign has no interest in this at all. Imagine any other scenario where it makes sense for someone in second place to offer a tie to the person in first place? Ridiculous.

Worried about being in second place? Of course not! Do you know why? Because, according to HRC and her advisors, "... remember that pledged delegates in most states are not pledged. You know there is no requirement that anybody vote for anybody. They're just like superdelegates." Well, isn't that great. Here we have someone who has been very vocal about the 2000 election having been stolen by George W. Bush, coming out and advocating for pledged delegates WHOSE VOTES HAVE ALREADY BEEN ALLOTTED to just give them to her anyway. Why exactly would they do that??

And here's the real killer, which I read this morning. She claims to have landed in Bosnia under sniper fire and having to run from the plane to the safety of their vehicles. In fact, there was no sniper fire, nor did they have to run to their vehicles! The article even has a picture of her stopping to talk to a little girl after deplaning, for crying out loud! SHE'S A LIAR! These are the two pictures the article contained earlier:

She and Chelsea certainly don't look like they're in any danger, or even have any apprehension of danger. They're walking around with their smug heads held high, smiling for the cameras.

This certainly isn't the first time she has weasled her way out of what she calls a "misstatement." Guess what, Hillary. A "misstatement" IS A LIE. She actually defended this by stating: "I say a lot of things -- millions of words a day -- so if I misspoke, that was just a misstatement."

What are we supposed to infer from that? At least her husband waited a few years after being elected President to unveil his best attempt at covering up a lie, with his "That depends on what your definition of is is." She's still running for the office, and she's already making excuses for her lies, and they're not even good excuses! If she is elected President, she will certainly say "millions of words a day" for at least 4 years. Are we to assume that she has no accountability for whether or not they are true? If a reporter had made such a glaringly erroneous statement, he or she probably would have lost their job over it. But to her, it's just a misstatement.

It seems like landing ANYWHERE under sniper fire might be something that you remember correctly for the rest of your life. I know I would. Maybe she's been under sniper fire upon landing in Bosnia a few times in her life, and this particular landing just got lost in all of her memories, but I find that highly unlikely.

She is destroying the Democratic Party from within. With all of her attacks on Obama, by the time she finally does lose the nomination (which, if she doesn't, I'm moving to Canada), McCain's campaign will be all the stronger for it. Which is maybe what she wants?

Don't Hang Around and Let Your Troubles Surround You, There Are Movie Shows ... Downtown

2008-03-24T09:38:00.006-04:00

(Petula Clark, Downtown)

Check out this picture of the tornado that rocked Atlanta 2 weekends ago. The picture itself is pretty amazing (it was sent to the local CBS affiliate by someone who claims to have taken it from the balcony of his high-rise apartment), but just look at that tornado! It almost covers the entirety of downtown Atlanta! Amazing.

It's worth mentioning that the Bank of America Building (the tall building with the yellowish triangular top at the far left of the picture) is less than a mile from the center of the storm, and we live about 7 blocks (farther away) from the Bank of America Building.

I'm Still Asleep But I Can Hear the Piano When You Make Breakfast After 10

2008-03-22T15:29:00.005-04:00

(Blue October, Breakfast After 10)

We slept a bit late this morning and then went to check out a new (new to us) brunch spot. The Social House, on Howell Mill, right off I-75. The food was outstanding. Amanda had a turkey and swiss omelet, which was enormous, with a side of grits and a freshly baked biscuit. I debated getting the chicken & waffles, but ultimately decided against it in favor of the Whole Farm Breakfast Sandwich (which I wish I could find a picture of, and forgot to take one). It was 2 fried eggs, 3 sausage patties, bacon strips and gouda cheese (gouda is betta), stacked triple-decker between "slices" of belgian waffle. Oh, man. It was good. I guess it was basically like a McGriddle at McDonalds, but way, way better.

The place was decorated with old-timey newspaper clippings, pictures, books on shelves, even an old bicycle hanging from the ceiling. All in all, a pretty enjoyable experience. They've got a few other menu items I'd like to go back and try, such as the aforementioned chicken & waffles, shrimp and grits (which also includes andouille sausage), and the pan seared ribeye steak & eggs. (The "waffle dog" pictured above is not on the menu, btw. If it was, well, let's just say I'd be able to tell you how it tasted.)

Unfortunately, and this is a major issue for someone with such a pronounced addiction as my own, the coffee absolutely sucks. I even asked for a fresh cup, after taking two sips of my first serving, thinking maybe it was a bad pot or something. No such luck. I couldn't even drink it, I just sipped my water and enjoyed my waffle sandwich. If they would change their coffee, I wouldn't have a bad thing to say about the place. They'd be a solid 9 out of 10 if the coffee wasn't so bad, however, as it stands now, I'd have to give their overall rating somewhere around a 6.5. That's an important factor for me.

Well I'm a Little Down Under But I'm Feeling OK, I Got a Little LOST Along the Way

2008-03-20T22:56:00.005-04:00

(Bruce Springsteen, Light of Day)

So many great aspects about this episode. So many that I probably didn't notice them all, especially considering the fact that it's NCAA Tournament time, and I've been worked up into a frenzy all day. Earlier this afternoon, during the Purdue/Baylor game, I was so worked up about it that with about 10 minutes left in the game, every time the score changed, I was running it through Bill James' lead safety calculator (which is AWESOME, by the way, despite the fact that I have no idea why it is even right in the first place), just to see how it changed. I picked Baylor. Baylor lost. I was less than thrilled.

On to more pressing matters.

1. So, one of my big theories, and probably most people's theories, was shot right to hell this week, and I mean faster than Elliot Spitzer's fall from grace. During Michael's flashback, his mother tells him she thought he was dead for two months before he came back. Two months?!?! That's all?!?! I was really hoping that the time elapsing OFF the island was different from the time elapsing ON the island, but that makes me think I'm out of luck. Does anybody else have a different take on that? Any chance it was just a screwup, an oversight by the dialogue writers?? Probably not, I guess, but man. If not, and if the time is the same on the island as off the island, what an unceremonious way to let us know about it. Very disappointing.

(Actually, I just had another thought about this, because it's been bugging me. What if, by following bearing 325 exactly, Michael and Walt were able to pass through the only "portal" that keeps the passage of time between the island and the real world the same. What if the plane crash, the helicopter ride, the rocket experiment by Faraday a few weeks ago, what if all of those things did NOT pass through bearing 325, so their time is still screwed up. What if the Oceanic 6 who get off the island might not pass through it either? Is this making any sense? Basically, it could be that bearing 325 is the only way to get on and off the island without having a time jump. I'm holding onto that, because I really want this time differential thing to play a part in the story. -Updated 3/21/08, 10:55am)

2. I was excited for the return of Michael, but I was ecstatic about the return of Mr. Friendly, at least for this episode. He was a great character, and I was sad to see him get killed off after the failed ambush at the end of last season. Also, I loved the fact that he was gaying it up in his suite at the Hotel Earl. Remember when Kate didn't want to change clothes in front of him back in season 3, and he was like, "Kate, you're not exactly my type." When Michael showed up, I made a joke about having room service deliver some chocolate covered strawberries, but he already had some dude in there with him! Hilarious. (According to his wikipedia page, he only learned his character's beard was fake toward the end of season two, and he's the only Other to appear in all four seasons. Interesting.)

3. You do not want to piss off Sayid Jarrah.

4. Michael seems to be living a Groundhog Day-esque life, now that he's off the island. Nothing he does will kill him. All he needs is for Punxatawney Phil to come out and see his shadow, then things will be back to normal, right? Speaking of Punxatawney Phil, I've got to give my favorite line from Groundhog Day (and one of my favorite Bill Murray lines of all time, delivered with his perfect brand of sarcasm and smugness) right here: This is one time where television really fails to capture the true excitement of a large squirrel predicting the weather. I don't know why, but this completely cracks me up.

5. Captain Gault beats his men to save their lives. I'm no lawyer, but that seems like a violation of their rights. Personally, I think he was just upset that Purdue beat Baylor. And speaking of the Captain, he didnt' seem too surprised when Sayid tattle-taled on Michael, did he? Of course, this being the last new episode for a month, it's gonna be awhile before we find out.

6. Who shot Carl and Rousseau? Was it a setup? Was it Maggie Simpson? Did Ben lead them right there so he could eliminate any other emotional connection Alex had besides his own? And is Alex even safe? Or is she walking right into harm's way by identifying herself as Ben's daughter?? I guess we'll find out in a month.

7. Ben is the bad guy. Widmore is the bad guy. Ben is the bad guy! Widmore is the bad guy! Ben is the bad guy! Widmore is the bad guy! Ben is the bad guy! Widmore is the bad guy! It's rabbit season! It's duck season! Rabbit season! Duck Season! Rabbit season! Rabbit Season! Duck season! Rabbit season! I say it's duck season, and I say fire! What are they doing to us?? I feel like Elmer Fudd, and I'm pretty sure that's not a good thing.

Ready for the Shuffle, Ready for the Deal, Ready to Let Go of the Steering Wheel

2008-03-19T23:09:00.000-04:00

(U2, Zoo Station)

There are three chefs on this show with that fauxhawk. Did I miss the memo? Stephanie (last week's winner) says she's a force to be reckoned with, and to prove it, they show her working out with a 5 pound weight. Point taken, Stephanie.

This week's Quickfire Challenge sees the chefs walking to the farmer's market. Padma is looking a little rough, which worries me a bit, as she's one of the things that keeps me captivated by this show. They can only use 5 ingredients from the farmer's market in their dish, which can be whatever they want. The first f-bomb of the evening is dropped by Spike, not Andrew, in the first surprise of the night. New Zealand pays for his ingredients, asks for a receipt, then proceeds to walk out without his bag of food. I'm pretty sure that's going to make it hard for him to cook. Richard was excited that Wiley Dufresne is the guest judge, because he's also a "molecular gastronomist," and to illustrate this, his hair stands straight up. Or, it could just be his ridiculous fauxhawk. Spike drops another f-bomb, and I'm pretty sure I just saw Andrew drawing up a complaint for copyright infringement.

Richard's dish is described as having "not terribly strong eucalyptus." A ringing endorsement. Wiley likes New Zealand's sideburns, despite the fact that he left the market without some of his food. This is nothing if not a credible competition. Andrew f's up by using balsamic after his 5 ingredients. He admits to being a dumbass, but uses no words that start with the letter F. Shockingly, New Zealand wins. Must have been the sideburns.

The Elimination Challenge starts with the obligatory knife draw. Vulture? Bear? What the hell is going on here? Andrew wants Lion (and growls for emphasis), but then seems very excited to draw Penguin. They're catering a private party at the zoo, and they have to base their dishes around the main foods in their animal's diet. Odd, to say the least. New Zealand notices that the vulture's diet is very similar to his own; presumably he hangs out in the desert or along highways, waiting for animals to just drop dead, already! $500 to spend at Whole Foods, which will probably buy each of them a loaf of bread and a bottled water. Spike mentions that he is molesting the produce section. Yikes. Remind me to buy my produce elsewhere. Nikki bought a whole wheel of cheese for one of her dishes, which is awesome! I'm freaking out, I love cheese and have always wanted to buy a big wheel of cheese. Nikki has impressed me two weeks in a row, first with her freshly made pasta, now with her wheel of cheese.

Colleccio shows up in his blue chef's coat, which always cracks me up, because he does absolutely zero cooking. Andrew is making some sort of a glacier, which he's very excited about. It looks nasty to me. Dale thinks Nikki's mushrooms look like turds. Hey, back off, man. She's got a wheel of cheese and she's not afraid to use it. And...utensils down, hands up. See you at the zoo.

Team Bear immediately begins fighting about the turd mushrooms. Nikki wants to use them, but Dale feels like he's putting perfume on a pig. Which, I don't think pigs like very much. Except Miss Piggy. And Petunia Pig. Padma has cleaned up slightly, but she's looking kind of exhausted, and clearly needs to take advantage of all this food in front of her. She brings in Colleccio, Wiley Dufresne, and Gail Simmons, who brings absolutely NOTHING to the table. Richard made a Ras Al Hanout for the second week in a row (I think it was him last week), which shows a lack of originality. His fauxhawk loves the Raz Al Hanout, though, and he can't argue with his fauxhawk. And, thankfully, the turd mushrooms are taken off the table, but not before somebody eats one and is very unhappy about the experience. Unfortunately, they still give them to Colleccio and Dufresne, who seem to wish they hadn't. Team Gorilla made a banana bread, which looks awesome. I'm not seeing any reductions in any of the dishes, which is going to make it hard to choose a winner.

Back at Judges Table (why don't they use an apostrophe?), Padma asks for Team Vulture and Team Penguin. The bird teams are flying high! (Pardon my pun, and yes, I know penguins don't fly.) Andrew is a bit of a spaz when talking about his glacier, but he's just very excited, and he is then chosen as the winner! My boy!! No f-bombs tonight, but there are still a few minutes left in the show. Gorillas and Bears are brought in as the worst teams. The turd mushrooms are cited as one of the 3 worst dishes of the whole evening. Dale admits to putting cheese on them so they didn't look like sh*t, but nobody tasted them after the cheese was added. Lesson: always taste the sh*tty cheese before serving it at the zoo. Gail and Colleccio force Antonia to throw one of her teammates under the bus, and Stephanie (the aforementioned force to be reckoned with) gets saved. I don't know the name of the girl who was left for dead. Hopefully she'll get kicked off so I don't have to learn it. Padma looks a lot more lifelike after eating, which I'm happy about. In the end, it was the blinis that they hated the most, and Valerie must pack her knives and go. (As it happens, Valerie was the one whose name I didn't know.)

Next week: crying and f-bombs. Can't wait.

I Went Down to Houston and I Stopped in San Antone

2008-03-19T12:13:00.000-04:00

(Ryan Adams, My Sweet Carolina)

Ok, so my "mascot bracket" post might not have been as funny as I thought while writing it, though in my defense, it all made sense in my mind at the time. But with the NCAA Tournament starting tomorrow, I'm going to go ahead and get my predictions out there. Normally I end up going for the upset picks, and sometimes I nail them, but usually I lose at least one, sometimes as many as three, of my final four teams in the first weekend of the tournament. Hopefully not this year, as I've pretty much stuck with the higher seeds to advance to the later rounds.

East Region
Sweet 16:
1. North Carolina over Arkansas
2. Notre Dame over Washington State
3. Louisville over Oklahoma
4. Tennessee over South Alabama

Final Four - Tennessee over North Carolina. I know, they're playing in Charlotte. I don't care.

Midwest Region
Sweet 16:
1. Kansas over Kent State
2. Vanderbilt over Clemson
3. Wisconsin over USC
4. Georgetown over Davidson

Final Four - Kansas over Georgetown.

South Region
Sweet 16:
1. Memphis over Mississippi State (this will be one of the better games of the tournament)
2. Pittsburgh over Michigan State
3. Stanford over Marquette
4. Texas over St. Mary's

Final Four - Texas over Memphis. Game's in Houston. That's gonna be a huge factor.

West Region
Sweet 16:
1. UCLA over Texas A&M
2. Drake over Connecticut
3. Baylor over Xavier (my only major upset in the entire field)
4. Duke over Arizona

Final Four - UCLA over Duke.

Of course, the idealist in me has a Kansas v. Texas finals, in the rematch to end all rematches. Texas wins in San Antonio, 84-78. Book it.

And the Last Known Survivor Stalks His Prey in the Night

2008-03-17T20:01:00.013-04:00

(Survivor, Eye of the Tiger)

Happy St. Patrick's Day, everybody! I'm enjoying my last night of pseudo-bachelorhood by sitting on the couch, drinking a Guinness, and watching episodes of Iron Chef: America that we've got on the DVR. I know, slow down, right? Well, I'm in a great mood, because today is the first day of the best three weeks of the year. Of course, I'm talking about the beginning of the NCAA Tournament, which closes out on the second best sports weekend of the year. The Final Four, the Masters, and baseball's opening weekend. The only thing better than that is this coming weekend, which gives us the first two rounds of March Madness. 32 games on Thursday and Friday, then 16 games on Saturday and Sunday. Pure ecstasy for any basketball fan.

I've got my brackets filled out already, and I'm sure I'll get to some predictions this week before the tournament actually starts, but today at lunch, just for the hell of it, I filled out another set of brackets where I answer the question that I'm sure is burning in all of your minds:

Which mascot would win in a steel-cage match, Thunderdome style, fighting to the death?

TWO MEN ENTER, ONE MAN LEAVE!

Well, you've come to the right place. Let's break this down by region and see what happens.

East Region:
Play-in winners, the Mountaineers are able to outlast the Tar Heels, and the Razorbacks beat the Hoosiers in a really ugly, sloppy game. In our first "human versus human" contest, the Fighting Irish really show their grit in their triple-overtime win against the Patriots. The Cougars beat the Eagles with a few well-timed swipes of the paw, but the Hawks redeem the flying teams by beating the crap out of the Sooners. The Broncos over the Cardinals in a rout, and the Jaguars outscrap the Bulldogs for the win. The Volunteers fall to the Eagles, after having their eyes gouged out by the Eagles' large talons.

In Round Two, the Razorbacks prove too much for the Mountaineers, while the Cougars take advantage of not being stinking drunk in their win over the Fighting Irish, who celebrated a little too much after their first round win. The Broncos win in an upset over the Hawks, and the Jaguars beat the Eagles, defeating also any hope of a flying bird to advance any farther. The Razorbacks winning streak comes to an end at the paws of the Cougars, and the Jaguars prove too much for the Broncos. The Cougars, energized by their win over the Razorbacks, defeat the Jaguars on their way to the Final Four.

Cougars advance.

Midwest Region:
The Vikings care not for the rock-chalk, and defeat the Jayhawks with very little effort in Round One. The Golden Flashes (which just sounds dirty to me) somehow outlast the Runnin' Rebs. The Tigers win a close one over the Wildcats, and the Commodores are able to run over the Saints, who are ill-equipped for a steel-cage match such as this. The Trojans upset the Wildcats, and the Titans have no problem with the pesky Badgers. The Wildcats run away from the Bulldogs, in a game that was close in the first half, and in the "Michael Vick Invitational," the Hoyas avoid electrocution by tearing up the Retrievers.

The Vikings are able to overcome the Golden Flashes in Round Two, by virture of sheer toughness. The Tigers defeat the Commodores in a complete rout, and the Trojans win a close one over the Titans, in only the second "human versus human" matchup of the tournament. The Wildcats beat the Hoyas, who were still too shaken up by the Michael Vick mention in the previous paragraph. The Tigers again assert their physical dominance over man by defeating the Vikings, and the Wildcats have similar results in their win over the Trojans. The Tigers are tough, though, and beat the Wildcats on their way to the Final Four.

Tigers advance.

South Region:
In Round One, the Tigers handily defeat the Mavericks, and the Bulldogs literally devour the Ducks. The Spartans knock off the Owls, and the Panthers and Wildcats both win their matchups with the Golden Eagles. In the first of the "oh, the irony" games, the Big Red have their way with the Cardinal, and in the second, the Hurricanes outblow the Gaels for the victory. The Longhorns exploit the obvious weakness in the Governors, who were really poorly suited for this matchup.

Round Two sees the Tigers tearing up the Bulldogs, and the Panthers rip the Spartans limb from limb. The Wildcats find a way to outlast the Big Red, and the Hurricanes drown the Longhorns, who really don't have the speed they need to keep up in this one. The Tigers win a close one over the Panthers, and the Wildcats are able to "weather the storm" by staying alive against the Hurricanes, but they're left in a weakened state and fall to the Tigers without much of a fight at all.

Tigers advance.

West Region:
In the West Region, things get a little crazy. All three bears in this tournament are in this region, and any one of them probably would have been favored to make the Final Four, if they were coming out of another side of the brackets. Unfortunately for them, both of the devils are in this region as well. Let's see how things turn out.

Not well. The Bruins go down hard to the Delta Devils in the first matchup. It seems these devils are fairly skilled in the dark arts, and are easily able to control the pace of the contest. The Cougars rip the Aggies to shreds, and the Bulldogs "topped" the Hilltoppers. The Huskies defeat the Toreros, and the Boilermakers fall to the Bears, who are glad they didn't have to face any supernatural elements just yet. The Musketeers, channeling Michael Vick and friends, pound the Bulldogs, and the Wildcats win an easy one against the Mountaineers. In what seems to be a trend, the Blue Devils have an easy time with the Bruins, and are looking ahead to their only real challenge in the regional finals.

The Delta Devils and Blue Devils prove too much for their feline opponents, the Cougars and Wildcats, respectively, in this round. The Huskies tear up the Bulldogs, and the Bears celebrate another win by beating the Musketeers. Their joy is short-lived, though, as they fall hard to the Blue Devils in their next game. The Delta Devils toy with the Huskies for awhile, before finally putting them away, setting up the battle royale between the Delta Devils and Blue Devils in the regional finals. This is the game of the tournament (the Texas/Kansas, if you will), and it's pretty evenly matched. In the end, the Delta Devils prevail, due in no small part to their secret weapon and tournament MVP, the soul of blues guitarist Robert Johnson.

Delta Devils advance.

Final Four:
In the Final Four, the Tigers overtake the Cougars in the first game, then the Delta Devils work their dark magic over the Tigers in the second game, only to find themselves head to head with the Tigers again in the finals. As they are masters of the dark arts, they have no problem dispatching the Tigers again to win it all.

This might be the one and only time anyone has or will ever pick the Delta Devils of Mississippi Valley State to win the NCAA Tournament. Congratulations, Delta Devils.

I Make the Bed, I Change the Sheets, I Even Learned How to Use the Washing Machine

2008-03-16T20:25:00.005-04:00

(Wilco, Hate It Here)

Amanda left for D.C. yesterday morning, and I am so bored. I mean, I've had a ton of basketball to watch yesterday, and this afternoon, and I've gotten a lot of work done. I also did 3 loads of laundry, went to the grocery store, did the dishes, and I'm actually hoping to iron some shirts. I've also listened to a bunch of new music I picked up from a friend at work, and I'm sure I'll end up posting some of that soon, but man, when she leaves me to my own devices, I either get a lot of stuff done, or I end up eating popcorn and snickers bars for dinner. This weekend, thankfully, it was the former.

Right now I'm watching 3:10 To Yuma, and it's pretty good. I didn't think I was a big fan of westerns, other than Tombstone, and my feelings about Russell Crowe haven't changed in close to a decade. He's a great actor, but why does he have to be such a grumpy son of a bitch all the time? Would it kill him to smile? Ever? Amanda and I saw American Gangster in the theater back in the fall, and that's the first of his movies I've seen in the theater. I will always rent them or watch them on tv, but I had a moratorium on paying for his box office intake, but I lifted it for American Gangster, which I enjoyed. The dude is in some good movies, that's for sure. It's just too bad he's such a douche.

Texas played a hell of a game against Kansas today, but ended up losing the Big XII Tournament. We ultimately scored a 2 seed in the South region, though, which gives us games in Little Rock, Houston, and San Antonio, should we get that far. That's pretty damn awesome, if you ask me. Unfortunately, we play Friday, and I don't think I'll be able to see the first round game.

Ok, I'm done rambling. The rest of this movie's all that stands between me and hitting the sack. Maybe tomorrow I'll get to some of this new music.

Sirens Were Blowing, Clouds Spat Rain

2008-03-15T22:48:00.005-04:00

(Drive By Truckers, Tornadoes)

I'm sure everyone already knows this, but we've had some pretty nasty weather here in the ATL over the past 24 hours or so. Last night a freaking tornado touched hit downtown, tearing part of the roof off of the Georgia Dome during the SEC Tournament, in the middle of overtime between Mississippi State and Alabama. State ended up winning the game, after a weather delay of over an hour. For an indoor basketball game.

Amanda and I had no idea what was going on at the time, other than just thunderstorms. We were home watching Michael Clayton (which was awesome, btw), and our power went out for a few minutes, but came back on and we finished the movie, before checking on the game and learning about the tornado.

We were supposed to get more of the same this afternoon, and I was told there were sirens going off up in Woodstock earlier. I decided it probably wasn't a good idea for me to drive up for Stella's birthday party, which I felt bad about, but better safe than sorry. We also heard sirens here in town, after the Texas game was over with. It rained pretty hard a couple times today, but as far as I know, no tornadoes.

I know nobody is turning to "Deep Chrome Canyons" for breaking weather news, or really news of any kind, but I just figured out how to post mp3 files on this here blog, and I figured there probably wouldn't ever be a more appropriate time to post Tornadoes, by the Drive-By Truckers. It's is an awesome song, so if you're interested, give it a listen by clicking on the link above. Whenever possible, I think I'm going to post the song that the title lyric comes from, rather than just citing the song. This is pretty exciting for me. Possibly not so much for you. I'm fine with that.

Hello, I'm Sorry I LOST Myself (I Think I Thought You Were Someone Else)

2008-03-14T08:16:00.014-04:00

(R.E.M., Pop Song 89)

Well, well, well. Looky what we have here. Michael on the boat? Check (#4). Sun off the island without Jin? Check (#7). I even called the flash-forward for Sun and flash-back for Jin last night about five minutes into the episode, the first time Jin was in the store buying the ginormous panda (why did he pay so much for that thing when all he had to do was knock down three bowling pins with a softball?), but only Amanda and Hannah can attest to that, so on their behalf, I'm going to have to say, Check. In the immortal words of Chucky, Ben Affleck's character from Good Will Hunting,

"Just cause I go to Haavaad doesn't make me a genius, although I am very smaaat."

I thought last night's episode was really good, and really sad. I don't like knowing that Jin dies sometime in the future. Looks like all those English lessons are going to end up to be an enormous waste of time. Too soon?

1. Did anybody notice the tv show that Sun was watching in the very beginning of the episode? I'm pretty sure it was that old soap opera that Nikki was on, during her flashback episode last season.

2. Jin's tombstone said 2004. This means he dies very soon. Possibly next week, which I'm not thrilled about. Bear with me. Two weeks ago, Desmond called Penny from the boat. It was Christmas Eve, 2004. The calendar on the boat was also on December 2004. I still don't think that's the real date on the island, but they may never find out (which means we may never find out) what the real date on the island is. (Maybe it's years in the past, and Ben made $3.2 million betting on the Sox to win the 2004 World Series in Vegas.) Either way, Jin dies in 2004. I didn't think about it at the time, but Hannah noticed the date last night and said it out loud. This is the last time I mention Hannah in this post.

3. Hurley in Korea? So, if Sun was two months pregnant last night and has to get off the island in three weeks before the "complications" start, then it would stand to reason that last night's flash-forward happened about 6-7 months after they get off the island (and time starts moving at a normal pace again). Now, does Hurley go crazy after this, or has he already gone on his camaro joyride, avoiding the ghost of Charlie like the plague? I would imagine that his trip to Korea was after his freakout, because he was relieved that nobody else was going to be there in Korea, but I'm not really sure about this.

4. When that note was pushed through the slats of the door to Sayid and Desmond's holding cell, I was hoping it would say something like, "Sayid, are you still mad at me? Check yes or no. Michael." Glad he's back, but everybody on that boat is some kind of creepy, possibly brought on by eating so many lima beans. I never liked them either.

5. Captain Ahab, or whatever his name is, telling them about Charles Widmore? I was expecting more of an outburst from Desmond on that one. Seriously, if I were stranded on an island for 3 years, narrowly escaping death on multiple occasions, suffering nosebleeds due to my occasional time travel, and looking like the lost member of the Bee Gees (though in my case, I'd probably look like the lost member of the rabbis who wrote the mishnah), and somebody made me eat lima beans for two days, then told me Charlie Abrams had something to do with the whole thing, let's just say that I'd be doing a little of the old freaking out. In fact, I'm a little pissed at him just thinking about it.

6. And, in closing, let me express my extreme disappointment in the writers and producers of this great show. Juliet, in her haste to be a good doctor, taking care of her patient at all costs, totally goes rogue and shatters the doctor/patient confidentiality to pieces by telling Jin about Sun's affair with the guy who looked like E.T. And they're on an island, where it rains all the time, so there's got to be plenty of mud around. See where I'm going with this? And all we get is a slap on the face? Come ON, Sun! Take her down! Show her what you're made of, your daddy's a MOB BOSS, for crying out loud! I can't even count the number of times we've seen two girls in a knock down, drag-out fight on this show. Last week, Juliet and Charlotte Staples Lewis were smacking each other with fire hydrants in the Tempest Station. Even Kate and Juliet were at each others throats in the rain last season while handcuffed together!! We couldn't even get past a slap on the face for this one??

7. Yikes, I almost forgot! The discussion about the wreckage being staged! Holy cow. I didn't think about the fact that 324 dead bodies would be needed for that. Amazing. But we've seen that before, in Daniel Faraday's flashback/flashforward, which until last night we didn't know was actually a flashback. It could have been either, but now we know. And he was crying and didn't know why, but now, with what we know about his possible time-jumps, maybe he was going a little crazy, a-la Minkowski, back in his recliner, covered with the blanket, in that flashback. And since he hadn't been to the island yet at that point (though he would go there in the future), he hadn't yet met Desmond, who would be his constant. Maybe that's why he was all upset and couldn't figure out why?

8. Man, I keep forgetting things I wanted to say and updating it after I publish. Sorry, if anybody read this and didn't get these last 2 (or 3?) items. I loved Bernard and Jin's little fishing trip. It was like Tim "the Tool Man" Taylor having family problems on Home Improvement, then talking to Wilson about it. Bernard's Wilson, in this analogy, in case anyone didn't pick up on that. Anyway, it was a very heartfelt scene, and I am doing my best to ruin the sentiment with my snarky comments. It's what I do.

9. What kind of "errand" is Lapidis running with the helicopter? Possibly on his way to Costco for another 1,000 cans of lima beans.

(PS - Thanks to Seth for the picture of Jin's tombstone.)

Cutting Up Tomatoes, Fruits and Vegetables and Potatoes

2008-03-12T22:02:00.006-04:00

(R. Kelly, Sex in the Kitchen)

I'm very excited about the return of Top Chef, so I'm going to do this one as it happens. Live-blogging, if you will, only, not really, since I'm going to have to go through and add pictures, links, etc., after it's over. They won't all be this long, let's hope.

Early thoughts: Nimma - ATL contestant #1. I think I read there are 3 from Atlanta this season. LOTS of San Francisco contestants. Andrew. I like him. Drops a lot of f-bombs. Richard - ATL contestant number 2. Zoi and Jennifer actually know each other in San Francisco, and are a couple. And they're both contestants? That's a little rough. And they're all excited to be having lunch in a Pizzeria Uno? Either way, I'm very excited to have Padma Lakshmi back in my life.

Quickfire right away, and we haven't even met them all yet. Signature deep-dish pizza. Manuel is a sous-chef at Dos Caminos in New York. That place rocks! Amazing ceviche and guacamole. When someone else is paying. If I were making a deep dish pizza, I'd have to work in some avocado. Is that gross? Avocado on a pizza? Sounds awesome to me. Deep dish pizza with smoked chicken, avocado, brie, and a bit of spicy honey mustard. I might have to do a little experimenting this weekend in the kitchen.

Drama in the first 12 minutes. Richard stole my boy Andrew's deep dish pan, and he dropped like 3 f-bombs while discussing it. Shades of Ilan/Marcel from Season 2? Beautiful.

Pizzas are being delivered to Rocco DiSpirito. He's hanging out shooting pool with Padma. Lucky bastard. Richard rocks some peaches and sweet tea syrup on his pizza, working in his ATL roots. A little weird, if you ask me. Rocco didn't dig Nimma's pizza, which looked like it had about 37 pounds of mushrooms on it. He loved Richard's peaches and sweet tea pizza, though, which sort of blows my mind. Andrew then dropped 19 more f-bombs. He's for sure my favorite. Nimma says she's not here to have fun, which seems about right, because listening to her sort of makes me feel like I'm listening to an NPR radio host read sections of the encyclopedia.

Elimination Challenge: head to head contests involving classic dishes, such as crab cakes and duck a l'orange. Classic? Richard picks Andrew to cook against, and he shocks me by dropping 3 f-bombs right out of the gate. Bravo is all about drama and f-bombs. Amanda thinks Andrew's going to get kicked off this episode because they're focusing on him a lot. Man, I hope not. There are f-bombs to be dropped!

These people do a reduction on every single meal. It's amazing. I need to start doing more reductions. Nikki, after shopping with her sunglasses on the whole time she was in whole foods, is endeavoring to make fresh pasta for her lasagna. Impressive. I hope it works out for her, time-wise. Andrew can't find mayonnaise, and, you guessed it. This guy basically talks just like me. Seriously, if I still had a swear-jar, I would be dead-ass broke. I'm fairly dead-ass broke now, though, so I guess it's 6 of one, half dozen of the other.

Utensils down, hands up! Anthony Bourdain walks in with Rocco, Padma, and Tom Colleccio, who's supposedly opening a place here in the ATL. Maybe I'll have to incorporate a swear-jar so I can save up enough to eat there, because you know that place ain't going to be cheap. I like the New Zealand guy, but he's getting shredded by Bourdain, who likes Stephanie's reduction. Reduction! Always do a reduction, if not, you're just screwing yourself. Andrew added some cilantro-basil pudding to his crab cake. Somewhere, Bill Cosby is thrilled. Andrew lost this round to Richard, and to everyone's surprise, he keeps it clean. His dish was good though, Colleccio liked it, so he'll probably live to see week 2. They all liked Nikki's pasta, and seem impressed that she made it herself. As was I. Nimma made a cauliflower sauce, but used far too much salt, and loses unanimously. Ironic, since her pizza was criticized for not having any salt. Lisa used some toasted challah bread, which Bravo inexplicably decided to spell as "halla" bread. HOLLA!! She wins. Awesome. Manuel, of Dos Caminos where I love the ceviche, made ceviche! Unfortunately, he lost his contest. Rocco needs more butter in Ryan's piccata, Bourdain hates the bread crumbs. Tough crowd.

Padma asks for Antonia, Nikki, Richard, and Stephanie. They're the "most favorite" in this challenge. I hope Nikki wins. Rocco tells us that I'm wrong. Stephanie wins the first week. You know why? Because she made a reduction! She was the only one this week who made a reduction, and she won. It's a simple formula, people! Ryan, Eric, Nimma, and New Zealand guy whose name I can't remember. Whew! That means Andrew is f'ing safe, baby! F-yeah! Nimma admits to bad judgment, and also to being on massive amounts of sedatives. Half the judges just fell asleep while she was talking. New Zealand's dish, Bourdain says, was silly and pretentious. Like every show on Bravo, maybe? Whatever, it's not going to keep me from watching, that's for sure. Rocco says Ryan's gnocchi wasn't the only thing that was dense. Yikes.

Hammer time. These four are getting absolutely killed by Colleccio. Nimma is a goner. She promises not to stop cooking. Unfortunately, no one heard her because they all fell asleep halfway through the sentence. Looks like it's going to be a pretty good season. Lots of f-bombs in the previews. And some cooking, I guess.

Won't You Let Me Make You a Deal? (Just Get Behind the Wheel.)

2008-03-11T20:31:00.006-04:00

(Wilco, Passenger Side)

Went to two birthday parties on Saturday. The second was a joint birthday party for Amanda, Marci and Sarah. Lots of fun, and thanks to daylight savings time, we didn't get home until 4am. We'd had a few, and we didn't want to shell out for a cab, so we called Zingo. This was pretty awesome. I'd heard about it before but never taken it. They send someone to wherever you are, on a little Italian scooter that the guy folds up and sticks in your trunk. Then he drives you home in your own car, and takes off again on his scooter. After you pay him. All in all, a great service, especially since your car is at your house when you wake up, instead of having to go get it the next morning.

The afternoon party was the first first-birthday party I think I've ever been to. It was adorable. Just a bunch of babies all over the place. I was afraid to step anywhere. This kid is just adorable though. Spencer and Lani are good friends of mine, and I'd certainly never steal a baby, but if I did, Shira's the leading candidate. I mean, come ON! How cute is this??

A Hustle Here and a Hustle There, New York City's the Place Where They Say Hey, Babe, Take a Walk on the Wild Side

2008-03-10T14:40:00.008-04:00

(Lou Reed, Walk on the Wild Side)

This is stunning news, and if you're hearing this for the first time here, I would strongly reconsider where you turn for up to the minute news (along with maybe a few other life choices), but New York Governor Elliot Spitzer has been linked to a prostitution ring!! I was standing in line at the bank when I saw it on CNN, and my first thought was, "Isn't he a Hillary supporter? Maybe there will be some level of fallout for her campaign over this."

The irony is literally (not literally) dripping off of this situation, considering the following:

In one such case in 2004, Mr. Spitzer spoke with revulsion and anger after announcing the arrest of 16 people for operating a high-end prostitution ring out of Staten Island.

”This was a sophisticated and lucrative operation with
a multitiered management structure,” Mr. Spitzer said at the time. ”It was,
however, nothing more than a prostitution ring.”

Not to be outdone, Mississippi Governor Haley Barbour has admitted to being intimately involved with an order of onion rings.

Phone My Family, Tell Them I'm LOST on the Sidewalk

2008-03-07T10:39:00.005-05:00

(Wilco, Kamera)

Well, I didn't think I had too much to say about last night's Juliet episode, but I guess I do.

1. Ben sure is a creep, huh? "You're mine!" They should have taken that even further, like when Juliet came over for the dinner party, instead of opera, he should have been playing Michael Jackson & Paul McCartney's "The Girl Is Mine" on repeat on the stereo. And what about him sending Goodwin off to probable death, just to get him out of the picture! Very King David of him.

2. Where did Ben get that footage of Mr. Widmore (aka Caleb Nichol) beating the crap out of some dude in an airplane hangar? It would have been awesome of they had used old footage of him from The OC for that scene. I probably would have crapped my pants. I considered it just thinking about it.

3. Speaking of crapped pants, I mean, speaking of Ben having the videotape of Mr. Widmore, it was on the tape marked "Red Sox." Are we to assume that footage of Mr. Widmore was taken AFTER Ben showed Jack the footage of the Red Sox winning the 2004 World Series (after stunning the Yankees to come back from 3 games down, no less!)? If so, that means it's fresh footage, and would have been obtained sometime after that, but before Ben became Locke's prisoner again, which seems to be roughly a three-week window, notwithstanding any time-shift issues. Of course, it could be that Ben is just a huge Red Sox fan and has an overabundance of "Red Sox" labelled videotape, or that he labels all of his videotapes that way, in case anybody finds his porn collection. Anything's possible.

4. Harper, the therapist. Goodwin's wife. Did they get married because neither of them had a proper first name? They were probably making a list of possible baby names including Miller, Jones, Smith, McKenzie (in case they had a girl), and the like. And what happened (other than Juliet sleeping with her husband repeatedly, leading ultimately to his death) to turn Harper from a normal looking and sounding person in the therapy sessions to some sort of terminator-type robotic-voiced woman standing in the rain talking to Juliet in the beginning of the episode? Speaking of, how did she disappear so quickly? Are the Others all ninjas?

5. I say again, Michael is Ben's man on the boat. Bank on it. I was hoping we'd get that news last night, but I can wait another week.

6. Not sure what to think about Faraday and Charlotte Staples Lewis disarming the nuclear gas leak, or whatever that thing was, in the Tempest station. It seems like there's no other explanation for what they were doing, since once they were done, things stabilized and the warning sirens stopped going off. But here's the thing. They claim that the gas is Ben's personal stash of WMD's, basically, and it clearly looked like some bad mojo was about to happen until they stopped it. But if that was the case, who set it off in the first place? Ben, or someone who works for him? And if THAT is the case, then why did Harper warn Juliet about where they were going, since Harper is still clearly on Ben's side? Is it possible they really were trying to set it off and kill everyone on the island, and they had to stop at the last minute because Juliet showed up and went Superfly on both of them, ripping off their gasmasks so they'd be exposed as well? It seems like they'd probably still have gone through with it, if that was their intention, so I'm sort of confused on this part.

7. The preview for next week says we will meet "the LAST member of the Oceanic 6." That means that we've either got the first 5 already, or they're going to give us both 5 and 6 next week. I think, based on that, we've got the first 5, then, otherwise, they would have said something like "the last 2 members of the Oceanic 6." I could be wrong, it's just what I think. If that is the case, and we know Jack, Kate, Hurley and Sayid are in, that leaves only Ben and Aaron as possibilities, since those are the only other people we've seen off the island in the future (aside from Charlie's ghost). I don't like either of them as part of the group, because neither of them were on the plane, but if that's what we've got, then I think it's got to be Aaron. Either way, as far as what we're getting next week, my money's on Sun. Without Jin.

Feel free to leave comments below, let me know if you think I'm insane, or just disturbingly obsessed.

'Cause London Is Drowning (and I ... Live By the River)

2008-03-06T15:44:00.009-05:00

(The Clash, London Calling)

Man. Last night, before watching the finale of Project Runway (say what you will, but it's a damn good reality show, which is pretty much all that's on right now), Amanda and I watched Eastern Promises. I'd heard it was a pretty good movie, plus there was the Best Actor nomination for Viggo Mortenson, so we decided to give it a shot. It's basically the story of some Russian mobsters who do some nasty, nasty things, and the hot fiesty blond doctor who's not afraid of them, played by Naomi Watts. Honestly, I'd see just about anything that she's in. (I even saw King Kong, but I probably couldn't sit through it again.) She's not really a bad actress at all, when she's not playing opposite ginormous monkeys.

So, anyway, these Russkies (who conveniently live in London, thereby giving them a reason to speak English for most of the movie), they're really bad dudes (dey will spleash de pot venever de fack dey pleezze), except for, you guessed it, Viggo, who's just sort of a bad dude (after having sex with an underage prostitute in front of another guy who just stands there and watches, he discreetly gives her some money so she can leave town and avoid the unpleasantries which are certain to befall her otherwise - what a sweetheart!). Turns out he's also quite a badass who, while being attacked by 2 Chechenyans in a bath house, manages to disgustingly break some of their bones before slicing them up with their own blades, after being sliced a few times himself, and all the while, with his wang hanging out. Could have done without the wang, but the rest of it was pretty cool.

If you can get past the rather realistic gore and violence, I'd say you should definitely see this movie. Honestly, it was a great story, unlike, say, A History of Violence, which also starred Viggo and was also directed by David Cronenberg. (That one was pretty slow, boring even, with a rather ironic lack of any violence until it was too late for me to care anymore. Actually, I remember leaving the theater with friends and saying that the movie should probably have started where it ended, that it would have been a much better story that way.) Eastern Promises was, in a disturbing, need a shower, sort of way, a really great movie. If you're a fan of a good story, Russian mobsters, ultra violence, Naomi Watts, or bath house wang, then check it out.

You and I and Moonlight in Vermont

2008-03-04T22:09:00.009-05:00

(Ray Charles, Moonlight in Vermont)

Lot of drama going on right now with the Texas and Ohio primaries. Let's hope Obama pulls ahead in Texas, his lead right now has slimmed considerably. It's great that the race is so close between Obama and Clinton, because it's definitely drumming up more interest in the elections, but with McCain having already wrapped up the Republican nomination, the Democratic Party is going to have a lot of catching up to do, no matter who comes out ahead. But, like I said, let's hope it's Obama.

Anyway, if there's a bright spot in tonight's hotly contested elections, it's got to be this: according to The New York Times,

7:55 p.m. Oh, Vermont! The Associated Press also reports that voters in two Vermont towns approved symbolic measures Tuesday calling for the indictment of President Bush and Vice President Dick Cheney for what they consider violations of the Constitution. The measures seek to have police arrest Mr. Bush and Mr. Cheney if they ever visit Brattleboro or nearby Marlboro.
Not sure of the likelihood that either will be cruising downtown Brat anytime soon, but now you know where the Green Mountaineers are coming from.

That is pretty awesome, Vermont. In addition to Phish and Ben & Jerry's, you've got some pretty funny lawmakers.

I'll Be Counting Up My Demons, Hoping That Everything's Not LOST

2008-02-29T09:14:00.006-05:00

(Coldplay, Everything's Not Lost)

Wow. What a great episode. The Desmond episodes always seem to give us a bit of foundation for what is going on, don’t they? Those time jumps were awesome, but I kept expecting him to end up on stage with the rest of the BeeGees, having forgotten the words to "More Than a Woman."

1. Desmond called Penny on Christmas Eve 2004. That was the date when she answered the phone, and that was the date on the calendar on the freighter. I don’t necessarily think that was the date on the island. I think that calendar was there so they would be able to know what date it was back home, while they were out on their mission.

2. I love the return of the numbers!! 8 (years in the past for Desmond’s time jumps), 423 (Penny’s address), and 2.342 (what Faraday was supposed to set his machine to). Awesome!

3. If anything goes wrong – Desmond Hume is my constant! Now we know a bit about why Faraday didn’t know why he was crying when watching footage of the wreckage being found underwater. He wasn’t covering his head when doing these experiments, and was clearly exposed to mass amounts of radiation, which will cause him to have the time jumps as well (thus the need for a constant). It’s possible that scene where he was crying a few weeks ago wasn’t a flashback or a flashforward, but a time jump just like we saw Desmond have last night.

4. I am now more certain than ever that Ben’s man on the boat is Michael. I thought that the second Ben said it in the second episode of the season, but then later I thought maybe it might be Sayid, once they got to the freighter, like, they’d somehow worked out a plan. But now, after the door was opened last night while they were all locked in the room, I guarantee you that Michael is the man on the boat. (Amanda thinks that Michael and Walt are the other 2 members of the Oceanic 6, but I disagree. She does have another theory that I think is pure genius though. Maybe I’ll give her a guest blogger spot so she can put it out there for all 4 of you who read this blog.) Think about how long ago he and Walt left the island on that boat. Not very long. Even disregarding for a second that time on the island is different than time in the real world, they probably left the island no more than a month ago. Enough time for Michael to make it to wherever Ben sent him, and be convinced (or forced?) to somehow get a coveted deck hand position on the S.S. Where the F*#% Are We.

5. Mr. Widmore, a/k/a, Caleb Nichol. That dude only plays creepy rich guys who don’t get along with their daughter’s boyfriend/husband, and who may or may not be the embodiment of pure evil. He’s eyebrows-deep in all this Dharma Initiative, Hanso Foundation, stuff (that painting in his office with “NAMASTE” backwards on it?), and he now has the journal written by the original captain of the Black Rock, who either started the Hanso Foundation, or one of his kids or grandkids started it? I can’t decide if it’s just too cliché for him to be the big bad mastermind behind the whole thing, or if they’re going to just make him a pawn in someone else’s big game? Is he “The Economist?”

6. Minkowski was a great addition to the story, even just for an episode. I couldn’t figure out where I knew him from, so I looked him up on IMDB, and I was kicking myself! Awesome.

It's nice to finally watch an episode and be able to (waste hours) think about it without worrying I'll forget something about Torts or Contracts.

And I Started Growing Bob Dylan's Beard

2008-02-29T00:15:00.014-05:00

(Wilco, Bob Dylan's 49th Beard)

The beard is gone. That was quite an undertaking. I hadn't shaved since New Year's Day, other than to clean it up on my neck. No trimming, no other grooming, what was happening was happening on its own accord. But it was my Bar Exam Beard, my "playoff beard," and now that it's time had come, it's time had definitely come. This is what transpired. Thanks to Will for the clippers. I hope they still work.

Osama Ben Dorfman

Excuse me, which way to the Torah study?

What do you mean, I can't get on the airplane?

Starting to finally feel air on my face again.

The goatee to end all goatees.

Hey, guys, Ed the 3rd here owns Harley-Davidson!

Excuse me, which way to the Blue Oyster Bar?

Do you know why I pulled you over today, sir?

Back to normal, or, as close as it's going to get to normal.

There's a Lot of Honey In This World, Baby, This Honey's For Me

2008-02-28T08:54:00.006-05:00

(R.E.M., Me in Honey)

I know this is probably very Peter King-esque of me, but I have to talk about the coffee I had this morning. I stopped at the Starbucks right outside of the MARTA station at Peachtree Center this morning after getting off the train, because it was like 30 degrees and I couldn't walk a block and a half to my office without something warm in my (gloved) hands. Also, I had some value left on a Starbucks card I'd received as a gift, so I figured I'd indulge. I walked in thinking I'd just get a regular coffee, or possibly a redeye, but then I saw their new "special" drink they're promoting.

The Honey Latte.

Man, it was good. It was predictably very sweet, but that was fine with me, because that just meant I didn't have to sweeten it myself. And I'm certainly not one to shy away from the 2 shots of espresso in it. It wasn't as good as the Maple Macchiato I became moderately addicted to last winter, but it was a decent substitute. And it seems honey is making a comeback of sorts, in various forms. Interesting, but not at 8 a.m. on a Thursday.

I Attack With Love, Pure Bug Beauty

2008-02-27T22:07:00.007-05:00

(Wilco, Company in My Back)

The Bar exam is over. The two topics I knew absolutely nothing about, no matter how much I studied them and practiced writing essays on, were nowhere to be seen on the test. Needless to say, I was very excited about this. Oh, I bombed (at least) one question, to be sure, but I definitely did better on that question than I would have on one of those other topics, so I've got that going for me. Check back on May 23 to find out how I did.

In other news, Wilco just finished their 5-night stay at the Riviera Theater in Chicago. Those Chicagoans don't know how good they have it. I would pay one million pesos for a CD/DVD set of that gig. I have been able to find nights 4 and 5 available for download, though, so if you're interested, you can get them here (part one and part two of night 4) and here (night 5). Night 4 was the WXRT broadcast, which is fine, because the quality is really good, but you get a little radio chatter, station identification type stuff, and they also muted out the "shit" in "Company in My Back", which, I mean, come on. Really? But if that doesn't bother you, then you'll definitely enjoy it.

They're playing tonight at the 9:30 club in D.C., which NPR is streaming on their website. I'm sure it will also be put into the archive of concerts on their website, they usually have a pretty good collection of concerts to listen to on the web.

I've been listening to some new music as well lately, but I haven't absorbed it enough yet to say anything, so I'm going to reserve comment until a later date. But if you ever had the desire to make up a band name and a name for your band's album, along with cover art for the CD, then check this out. I suppose you could just do this with some imagination and a camera, but it's still pretty cool. My band's name was "twenty second pulse" and the album's name was "get to the garage." Random, possibly a bit ridiculous, but it was a lot of fun to play with.

Got the family coming in this weekend to celebrate both Mom and Dad turning 60, which means that 80% of my readership will be in my apartment. Maybe instead of posting, I should just make snarky comments out loud?

Who Gives a F*#% About an Oxford Comma?

2008-02-22T21:01:00.004-05:00

(Vampire Weekend, Who Gives a F*#% About an Oxford Comma?)

And what the f*#% is an "Oxford Comma" anyway? Read on.

I was all set to write a post, either tonight or tomorrow, about Vampire Weekend and their infectious (Full disclosure: I had to look up the spelling of infectious.) self-titled debut that came out last month, which I've been listening to at an alarming rate ever since getting a copy of it from a friend a few weeks ago. I was going to say that I felt a certain sense of pride in the fact that I played it for Amanda and she loved it, and that I lent it to a friend, and he loved it and he also played it for a few of our other friends and they loved it, and that made me feel like somewhat of an innovator (not unlike as described here. it's like they know me personally.). I was also going to say that despite the fact that it's only February, they were the clear front-runner for rookie of the year honors in the music community.

Then I saw this on a study break earlier this afternoon. Great article, incidentally.

So, I came home a little while ago, upset that the bastards at Spin Magazine had beaten me to my hyperbolic proclamation, and decided to write a post about how yeah, I liked them a lot, and so does everybody else, but everybody else has already written about it, and I've sort of missed the boat on this, but you know what, I'm going to write about them anyway, because they're just that interesting and good and who cares if it's all been said already.

Then I read this, literally, just 10 minutes ago.

Just not my day, I guess. But the hell with it. They're awesome. They're 4 Columbia grads who have only been playing together since their first practice less than 2 years ago. I love that their singer is Jewish (we are awesome!), and it's pretty cool that, according to the Spin article, one of the band members actually got to define the word "crunk" for the Oxford English Dictionary while interning there a few years ago. I was going to link to the definition on the OED's website, but I will be damned if I am going to pay a subscription fee just to look up the word "crunk."

Instead, here is the wikipedia page for Oxford Comma, in case anybody is interested. Turns out it's not just the title of what will probably (deservedly) be the most overplayed song of this album.

I'm All Lost in the Supermarket (I Can No Longer Shop Happily)

2008-02-22T15:14:00.006-05:00

(The Clash, Lost in the Supermarket)

I don't have much of an in-depth analysis about last night's episode of Lost, but I do have a few thoughts, so I'm just gonna do a quick 5-Points, and then go study:

1. I know the big twist at the end was that Kate is raising Aaron as her own, but I suspected that could happen as early as the season premiere 3 weeks ago, and around midway through the episode, when they were making a big deal about Kate having a son and not wanting him to be put on display and dragged into the trial, but not showing him or referring to him by name, I was sure of it. It's still a HUGE piece of evidence, though, as to what must have happened on the island before they got rescued, because Claire would absolutely never allow Aaron to be taken off and not go with him. Which leads me to...

2. So, clean-shaven future Jack testifies at Kate's trial, and clearly perjures himself by telling the little lie about nurse Kate fixing everyone's boo-boos after the crash. But we now know part of the story that Jack didn't want Hurley talking about 3 weeks ago. According to his testimony, there were only 8 survivors of the crash, and 2 of them died on the island. Well, well. That is quite a story, and despite the fact that it is a lie, it could be a sly hint as to what is yet to come. Namely, if Aaron is off the island with Kate, and she clearly was not pregnant when the plane crashed, there's no way (barring a severe time discrepancy, which is also still a possibility) the baby is biologically hers, so part of their story has to involve Aaron's mother being one of the survivors who doesn't make it. Claire dies, there's my point. Claire dies. Just a prediction.

3. The scene where Charlotte Staples Lewis is helping Daniel "Why Am I Still Wearing a Tie After Being on this Island for At Least 2-3 Days" Faraday with his memory exercises cracked me up. I'm sure it's going to have more significance (as in, maybe that's why he didn't know why he was crying in the flash-forward showing him watching television footage of the "wreckage" underwater), but to me, last night, it just looked like she was teaching him how to play 3-Card Monty.

4. When Locke brought Ben breakfast and a book to read (how sweet), Ben told him that he'd already read it. Locke's response was something to the effect of, "Read it again, you never know what you might have missed the first time." That means, I'm going to go back and watch this episode again, to see what I might have missed. BTW, Locke sure went off the reservation, huh? Stuffing that grenade in Miles' mouth was pretty harsh, notwithstanding the fact that it was probably a dud, intentionally. Speaking of Miles...

5. 3.2 million dollars? Seems like quite a specific number, if you ask me. Possibly the amount that each of the "Oceanic 6" receive in their settlements? Either that, or it's some sort of code, and Miles is actually Ben's spy on their boat (not Michael, as I originally thought).

6. I know, I said 5. Sue me. But don't really. Anyway, I also wanted to say that I don't think Aaron will count as one of the "Oceanic 6", because he wasn't actually a passenger on the flight. So I still think we only know 4 of the 6 (Jack, Kate, Hurley and Sayid). I also thought that Ben didn't count as one of them, and maybe he still doesn't, but at this point, I think it could be possible that he ends up giving Jack some sort of advantage over Locke in exchange for being taken off the island himself, since he no longer has the power he once did there. Maybe that's part of their secret as well, in that he would have to assume the identity of someone who was on the flight but died, either in the crash or afterwards. Then again, this could be a pretty ridiculous line of discussion, so I'm gonna drop it now, but reserve the right to analyze further at a later date.

For Those About to Barack, We Salute You

2008-02-22T15:05:00.008-05:00

(AC/DC, For Those About to Rock (We Salute You) sort of)

I knew there was a reason I liked this guy so much.

(thanks to both Amanda and Jeremy for emailing me these pics!)

I Wonder Should I Get Up and Fix Myself a Drink (no, no, no)

2008-02-18T16:49:00.009-05:00

(The Beatles, I'm So Tired)

Man, am I ready to get this thing over with. 8 days to go, until I can finally shave this beard.

This week I'm working only mornings so I can study in the afternoons and evenings. Today was loads of fun, going to work on about 3.5 hours sleep, then coming home and studying Commercial Paper. It's a good thing we have a coffee maker. Tonight I'm going to be immersing myself in Secured Transactions, then Professional Responsibility (like that really matters), and hopefully will come home in time to catch the second half of the Longhorns game against A&M. Need that win.

In other news, new Mountain Goats album drops tomorrow (8.0 from Pitchfork!). Very excited. And yes, I do listen to music other than Wilco. Sometimes even voluntarily.

My Kind of Town (Chicago Is)

2008-02-18T02:23:00.005-05:00

(Frank Sinatra, My Kind of Town)

I've never wanted to live in Chicago so badly in my life.

(Though It's) Cold and Lonely in the Deep Dark Night

2008-02-18T01:39:00.008-05:00

(Meatloaf, Paradise by the Dashboard Light)

... I can see paradise by the laptop light.

I am taking the GA Bar exam in 9 days. It's almost 2 in the morning, and I have to go to work tomorrow. The last thing I need to be doing right now is this. Unfortunately, I'm wide awake and while staring at a computer screen usually makes my eyelids heavy, it doesn't seem to be working tonight.

I just noticed (in my second consecutive viewing of Sportscenter) that Duke got their asses handed to them today. So there's that. Nice.

Remember to Remember Me

2008-02-18T00:32:00.002-05:00

(Wilco, Hummingbird)

His goal in life was to be an echo. The type of sound that floats around and then back down like a feather. But in the deep chrome canyons of the loudest Manhattans, no one could hear him. Or anything.