Give Me Some Skin, Give Me Some Gin, I Want Some Wine, I LOST My Mind

(The Ramones, Lost My Mind)

You know that scene in the Matrix, where Larry Fishburne is trying to explain things to Keanu Reeves, and his brain sort of goes on overload, and he starts foaming at the mouth and passes out? That was me on the couch during last night's episode. I'm still a little shaken up, and I'm not sure if I'm really able to process what happened last night, but I can say beyond a shadow of a doubt that last night was one of the best episodes in the show's run to date. My mind is officially blown.

1. So Locke's dad was a con artist, a killer, and evidently, a bit of a sexual deviant. How old was his mother, like 15 when he was born? (Roger Clemens: I see no problem with that. Karl Malone: Me either.)

2. When they showed Richard standing outside of the hospital room where little baby Locke was in the incubator, I lost it. I mean, I lost it. I was yelling ("Is that Richard? F*CK!!") and throwing my hands up, basically acting like a crazy person. And at that moment, 800 miles away in Houston, Texas, Mom looked at Andrea and said, "Ben is freaking out." True story. Exciting, I know.

3. That scene with Horace talking to Locke, where he was chopping down the same tree over and over again, that was also very Matrix-esque, the way they explained deja vu as a glitch in the system. Very creepy. And the nosebleed that kept appearing and disappearing, was kind of freaking me out as well.

3. That scene with Horace talking to Locke, where he was chopping down the same tree over and over again, that was also very Matrix-esque, the way they explained deja vu as a glitch in the system. Very creepy. And the nosebleed that kept appearing and disappearing, was kind of freaking me out as well.

3. That scene with Horace talking to Locke, where he was chopping down the same tree over and over again, that was also very Matrix-esque, the way they explained deja vu as a glitch in the system. Very creepy. And the nosebleed that kept appearing and disappearing, was kind of freaking me out as well.

4. Sorry, I couldn't resist that.

5. I loved Richard showing up at Locke's house when he was a kid, repping his "special school," like he's some sort of Charles Xavier, and I didn't catch the significance of all of the items he laid out on the table, but you just knew little Locke was going to grab that bottle of sand, right? I mean, that was Island Sand, for sure. Incidentally, when Amanda and I were in Hawaii a few years ago, I was going to put some beach sand in a little bottle like that to bring back, but Andrea told me it was a bad idea, because taking sand from the island was supposed to be bad luck. I guess Richard and Locke are under no such constraints. And why was Richard so upset when Locke held the knife? The sand and the rusty compass are ok, but the knife isn't? That was weird, considering the Locke we know now is all about the knife-play.

5a. My second "holy crap!" moment of the show was during this scene when Richard noticed the drawing that Locke had done. The f*cking smoke monster!!??!???!??!?! I don't even have anything else to say about that (other than the fact that it was a pretty crappy drawing to be hanging on the wall of a living room).

6. I loved that this was yet another episode that opened up (on Island time) with a closeup on an eye. That was how the show started, with a closeup of Jack's eye on the plane, right before the crash, last week's episode started with a closeup of Jack's eye as well, and there was also a prominent closeup of Desmond's eye in the first scene where he was reliving past experiences, when he was passed out on the floor of his and Penny's apartment with the red paint all over the floor. I'm sure there are others, but those are the only ones I can really remember. I love the continuity on this show.

7. I am willing to go along with the fact that the pilot, the drunk Mel Gibson type, may not be in favor of killing everyone on The Island, and might even be on their side (and how did he throw that backpack out of the helicopter without being noticed by Keamy?). But the captain of the ship, why is he helping Sayid, Desmond and Michael? He might not like Keamy, I don't like Keamy, but Keamy is a big dude with big guns (and some sort of explosive device strapped to his bicep?), and unless I had a dog in the fight, I'd probably be doing what Keamy wanted me to do. So maybe Captain Gault has a dog in the fight, is what I'm saying (or did, until he got capped).

8. The doctor floats ashore last week, with his throat slit, and Faraday uses the sat phone to morse code a question about it to the boat. Then this week, that morse code question hits the boat, and the doctor is still alive. And then he get his throat slit and thrown overboard!! This time shift between real time and Island Time is so weird, but here's my question: Earlier in the season, when Faraday did his little model rocket experiment, the rocket was sent from the boat and the person on the boat said that it landed. Then, like 30 minutes later, it landed on The Island. Why would that time shift reverse, then, with the doctor showing up dead on The Island before he was even killed on the boat?

9. I loved high school John Locke being rescued from the locker, then telling his guidance counselor, or whoever that was, where he could stick his stupid Mittelos science camp speech, squarely refuting the guy telling him that he was a man of science (Jack's the man of science, Locke is a man of faith). "Don't tell me what I can't do!" Awesome. He's been dealing with that his whole life.

10. Richard sure is determined to get Locke on The Island, though. He shows up three times before he's even out of high school, and can't seal the deal. Then after his accident, he sends Matthew Abbadon to his hospital as an orderly, to plant the idea of the walkabout! That was another big freakout moment for me, because as soon as Locke started talking to the orderly pushing his wheelchair, and they were making such a clear effort not to show his face while he was talking, I knew it was going to be him. So he put together the team of people in the helicopter, he visited Hurley in the asylum, and now he's basically responsible for getting Locke to Australia in the first place. I wonder who else he influenced in getting them to Australia, or on Flight 815.

(It just hit me that this is the first real flashback episode we've gotten since before the season finale last year! I read that the producers were saying that they were only going to use flashbacks from here on out if it was important to the story of The Island. I'd say this one was.)

11. One of my other favorite parts of the episode was the heartwarming "Lifesaver, son?" moment when Hurley shared his Snickers bar with Ben, while they were sitting there waiting for Locke. That was hilarious. And you know that took some serious thought on Hurley's part.

12. So, Christian Shephard was just chilling in Jacob's bungalow, having a spot of tea with his daughter, Claire, in the dark? Why does Christian Shephard fit into this part of the story!! Why can he speak on Jacob's behalf, why does he have a connection to The Island, why is Claire sitting in there like she knows exactly what's going on, why wasn't Jacob there, where was Jacob, where is Richard and the rest of the Others, why is Aaron "where he needs to be" and why is that not with Claire, ... (/gasping for air) ...

And how in the hell are they supposed to move The Island?

I'm feeling a little sick.

PS - Just to make my self sicker, I just looked up Richard Alpert on wikipedia, and he was a Harvard professor who was associated with Timothy Leary, and were both dismissed for their experiments with psychedelic drugs. He then travelled to India where he was guided barefoot from temple to temple (currently, on The Island, Richard was last seen receiving instructions from Ben to take the rest of the Others to "the temple" and wait for him there) before meeting his guru, who gave him the name Ram Dass. He then returned to the United States teaching harmony among all people and religions. That's probably all mostly irrelevant to the show, but it never hurts to learn something new.