It's a Telltale Sign, When It's Chairs Up and Time To Go

(Uncle Tupelo, Slate)

God bless Slate. They're giving us a "Hillary Deathwatch" daily update with her chances of winning the Democratic nomination. Proof that somebody out there loves me. My faith in the natural order of things is on its way to restoration.

In other news, let's all put on our favorite burnt orange and root, root, root for the Longhorns tonight against Stanford and their twin towers.

They Know My Name Cause I Told It To Them, But They Don't Know Where and They Don't Know When

(The Arcade Fire, Keep the Car Running)

Anyone who knows me knows of my seemingly constant problems with the automobile species. I have had the worst luck with cars over the years. Even when I lived in New York and didn't drive a car, EVER, I still had car troubles. Might sound impossible, but I assure you, nothing is impossible.

Anyway, it will come as no surprise to anyone that my car is back in the shop as of this morning, thanks to the fine folks at Superior Towing. I spoke with them earlier this afternoon, they were going to change the battery and then see if there was anything else wrong. Marvelous. So, at worst, I'm probably looking at around a $250 bill for the towing, battery, labor, and oil change (for good measure).

One day, when I'm fabulously wealthy, I don't ever want to own a car. I never really understood the benefit of a 3-year lease on a car, but it's looking more and more appealing to me every day.

The Name is D, Y'all, and I Don't Play. And I Can Rock a Block Party Till Your Hair Turns Grey.

(Beastie Boys, Pass the Mic)

Previously on Top Chef: Zoi and Jennifer know each other from San Francisco and are a couple. The fact that they just showed that again makes me think that either one of them is going to be packing her knives and going this week, or maybe they have a fight or have to compete head to head or something. Let's get rolling...


Andrew and Spike are acting really flirty with each other, while doing bad Borat impressions. Maybe they're sick of Zoi and Jennifer having the market cornered on the gayness. Either that, or their beards have some sort of gravitational pull towards each other. Guest judge is Chicago chef Rick Bayless, who has won "many beard awards." Is that for real? Do they televise these beard awards? Who votes on them? Are these even food awards, or are they just awards for like, the best beard, the longest beard, things like that? I doubt it, but it would be awesome if that were true. And it would also be good news for Spike and Andrew. And this dude at the right would win for sure. Plus, Beard Bayless doesn't even have a beard, but he does have a weird looking chin. (Interestingly, or not, I noticed that he does actually have some facial hair, as a mustache, a bit of stubble on his chin, and a soul patch. I hope with all of my soul that he didn't win some sort of beard award with that. I would lose all faith in beard awards if that happened.)

Quickfire Challenge: Tacos. Advantage to Zoi and Jennifer! (Sorry, couldn't pass that one up.) They have 30 minutes to make a taco. My God, even I could do this. Manuel starts chopping up some cactus, which could be pretty cool. Spike is going to make "street food", and Andrew thinks he's going to win because of his crazy ideas and f-bombs. Richard wants to reinvent the taco, using jicama as the taco shell, and he's going to plate it inside his fauxhawk and have the judges eat it right off his head. New Zealand says something nearly unintelligible, but it was probably astute. Padma likes Manuel's taco (about time, man!), and Beard Bayless loves Andrew's duck taco. Spike carries his Borat impression over with a half-assed "success!" when The Beard says he likes his "street taco." Eric was called out because his plate looked rough, but he doesn't think fine dining goes with Mexican food and offers The Beard the option of screwing himself. I think he'd rather have a better taco, but I don't presume to know his inner thoughts.

Andrew is placed in the top 3, and he makes a face like he just tried to fart but accidentally let a few escapees past the guards, if you know what I mean. I wish I could find a still of that picture. Man, it would be great right here. He also liked Richard's and Spike's. I knew he was going to pick Spike and Andrew. It's the "Beard Episode!!" In a surprise move, though, he picks Richard's jicama taco. Seems like a not-too-subtle way to show those 2 beards whose beard is boss.

Richard wins immunity, and they all divide into two teams and take a field trip. Zoi and Jennifer both end up on the Red Team, which makes Jennifer happy. Zoi says they know each other's pallette's better than anyone else. I bet that's not all they know better than anyone else. Also, I have no idea how to spell pallette. Red Team also has the beard brothers, Spike and Andrew. Blue Team, otherwise known alternatingly as "team boring" or "team douchebag," ends up with Nikki, Stephanie, Lisa, Manuel, New Zealand, and Richard's fauxhawk. I wish New Zealand was on Red Team.

Elimination Challenge: They're sort of catering an annual block party in some Chicago neighborhood, having something to do with mealstogether.com, whatever that is. Ah, here's the challenge. They're not "shopping" for this challenge in the store, they have to go door to door and collect groceries from the neighborhood residents. What a drag. I'm sure the neighbors are going to love that, and not at all be pissed off enough to complain to their city councilman. Jennifer absolutely cleans out some old couple. They took 7 bags of food from this one house! Nikki says one of her signature dishes is mac and cheese. Maybe I was jumping the gun a bit when I thought she was awesome for making her own pasta 2 weeks ago. Mac & cheese?

Andrew and Spike and their beards rummage through some lady's pantry together, and I might as well start referring to them as Ace and Gary whenever they do anything together. Spike (Gary?) says she must have been stocking up in case of a World War, in which case, it's a good thing you're cleaning her out before D-Day. The lady's daughter is afraid of them, and so am I. Spike keeps doing the Borat thing. And not well. Richard wants to go "upscale," which to him means not hamburgers and hot dogs. Zoi wants to do corn dogs. Good thing they're on different teams.

Nikki's working on her mac & cheese, and Richard is throwing together a paella for Padma, Tom, Ted Allen, and Beard Bayless, caring not about the residents of the neighborhood whose block party he's cooking for. Andrew throws out another Borat "success!" The fact that they're keeping this up, and that they're so bad at it, it's actually growing on me, and I'm started to enjoy it. Eric is working on corn dogs and Zoi knows she's not going to win Top Chef by making pasta salad, but alas, such is her lot today.

Colleccio in Blue. He asks Nikki what's in their "sexy drink" (which I was kind of wondering myself), and she tells him it's simple syrup with lavender and citrus, which will be carbonated on site. Colleccio asks, "What makes that sexy?" to which Nikki replies "the lavender," with a shrug that makes it seem like a question rather than an answer. Way to be bold, Nikki. Now get back to that mac & cheese. To be fair, though, Colleccio doesn't seem like he'd know sexy if it grabbed hold of his balls and led him around the room by his scrotum, so I can't really fault Nikki too much for not knowing how to handle his question better. He's a bit of a weirdo. He then completely freaks out Jennifer and Ryan, who have chosen to leave mayonnaise out of their Waldorf because it's hot outside, by telling them that it's the mayonnaise that keeps everything fresh. That, and the sexy lavender, right Tommy Boy?? They're all a little worried about their food holding up in transit. And...utensils down, hands up.

(I just realized this episode's only halfway over and I've already written a ton. Man, this is going to be long. Sorry)

Ace and Gary are really excited about this block party, and Richard's fauxhawk enjoys the cheering crowds. No one will be surprised to learn that the corn dogs are, in fact, soggy, and the mac & cheese is, in fact, gross from sitting around. Padma shows up with The Beard, Colleccio, and Ted Allen. Manuel is gung ho about this, and I really hope he does well tonight. Andrew tells some kid that his sliders are full of awesomeness, and I like to think that's true. Aside from the soggy corn dogs and the crap & cheese, everything else REALLY looks and sounds good. Even the sexy lavender drink, which puts a big creepy smile on Colleccio's face.

Spike explains his "smores on a stick" in his bad Borat accent, which Ted Allen immediately mistakes for a bad French accent, after which Andrew starts jumping up and down like a monkey on cocaine. Ace and Gary are loving this party, and they start dunking basketballs on a 7-foot goal with a bunch of 4 year olds. I mean, like a bunch of 4 year olds.

Judges Table: Padma asks for the Blue Team. Ace, Gary, Zoi and Jennifer don't like this at all. They usually call the best out first to congratulate them, and I was confused as well, because it clearly seemed like the Red Team killed that challenge. Andrew even goes so far as to drop an f-bomb, which is just so out of character for him. Nikki says nobody was the team leader and takes responsibility for her mac & cheese, which The Beard says turned into a brick. Richard admits that his paella wasn't exactly a paella. Then the judges COMPLETELY shock me by saying that the Blue Team was the winning team. Man, I am floored by this. Stephanie gets the win for this one, for some reason, but either way, it's her second win in three challenges. Not bad, Stephanie.

Red Team goes out and Stephanie does some weird dance when they leave the room. At least she's not a sore winner. This could be bad for the Zoi/Jennifer and Ace/Gary gay couples. Spike says he thought they kicked ass, which I did as well. Eric is getting killed over the corn dogs. He may be out, because he seems to be getting killed every week. Spike keeps talking about how surprised he is that they're there. Colleccio says if they all tasted Zoi's pasta salad and liked it, then they must have poor pallets. Yikes, didn't see that coming at all. Andrew then tells Colleccio that if he wants him to go home, he's going to have to drag him out with security guards, because "this is MY house." Really? Actually, I'm pretty sure this is Colleccio's house. Padma then dismisses the team somewhat angrily.

The weakest dishes are the Waldorf, the corn dogs, and the pasta salad. They all hate the pasta salad. Hey, has it been mentioned that Zoi and Jennifer know each other from San Francisco and are a couple? Because if not, it's worth mentioning while there's still time. Zoi then drops about 17 f-bombs in the back room while talking to her team. Not looking good. WOW! I am off tonight, because it's Eric, not Zoi, who is packing his knives and going. Man. MAN! I'm shocked and a little pissed that I was so wrong. I'm not going to miss him, though, because he didn't really seem to do anything all that good in the 3 episodes he was still around for.

The previews for next week look like more rough going for Zoi, which probably means it will be Ryan or somebody else that's not Zoi who gets kicked off. I'm an idiot.

The Tainted Election, The Low Dirty War, It Happened Before You Came To

(The Decemberists, Cocoon)

Hillary Clinton is KILLING me. And I'm not thrilled that Bill Clinton has turned into Karl Rove over the past 2 months either. She will seeminly go anything it takes to become president. I have no problem with a woman president, and I recognize that HRC is probably qualified to serve as president, but it's not her politics or her qualifications I am at odds with. It's just her. It's her shady, manipulative, "fight dirty to win as long as you win" attitude that absolutely sends me into a rage.

Never mind the fact that she was mixed up in a Whitewater scandal that everyone seems to have forgotten about, which culminated in a highly publicized suicide, or that she won't release her tax returns, even though Obama has released his. She is taking supreme advantage of Obama's pledge to remain above dirty politics by slinging as much mud as her chicken wing arms can sling.

Interested in a Clinton/Obama ticket? Absolutely! Anything to win over the Obama supporters and delegates and superdelegates who have already voted in his favor, especially considering the fact that she's behind in the numbers and at the polls. Forget the fact that she's in second place, or that the Obama campaign has no interest in this at all. Imagine any other scenario where it makes sense for someone in second place to offer a tie to the person in first place? Ridiculous.

Worried about being in second place? Of course not! Do you know why? Because, according to HRC and her advisors, "... remember that pledged delegates in most states are not pledged. You know there is no requirement that anybody vote for anybody. They're just like superdelegates." Well, isn't that great. Here we have someone who has been very vocal about the 2000 election having been stolen by George W. Bush, coming out and advocating for pledged delegates WHOSE VOTES HAVE ALREADY BEEN ALLOTTED to just give them to her anyway. Why exactly would they do that??

And here's the real killer, which I read this morning. She claims to have landed in Bosnia under sniper fire and having to run from the plane to the safety of their vehicles. In fact, there was no sniper fire, nor did they have to run to their vehicles! The article even has a picture of her stopping to talk to a little girl after deplaning, for crying out loud! SHE'S A LIAR! These are the two pictures the article contained earlier:

She and Chelsea certainly don't look like they're in any danger, or even have any apprehension of danger. They're walking around with their smug heads held high, smiling for the cameras.

This certainly isn't the first time she has weasled her way out of what she calls a "misstatement." Guess what, Hillary. A "misstatement" IS A LIE. She actually defended this by stating: "I say a lot of things -- millions of words a day -- so if I misspoke, that was just a misstatement."

What are we supposed to infer from that? At least her husband waited a few years after being elected President to unveil his best attempt at covering up a lie, with his "That depends on what your definition of is is." She's still running for the office, and she's already making excuses for her lies, and they're not even good excuses! If she is elected President, she will certainly say "millions of words a day" for at least 4 years. Are we to assume that she has no accountability for whether or not they are true? If a reporter had made such a glaringly erroneous statement, he or she probably would have lost their job over it. But to her, it's just a misstatement.

It seems like landing ANYWHERE under sniper fire might be something that you remember correctly for the rest of your life. I know I would. Maybe she's been under sniper fire upon landing in Bosnia a few times in her life, and this particular landing just got lost in all of her memories, but I find that highly unlikely.

She is destroying the Democratic Party from within. With all of her attacks on Obama, by the time she finally does lose the nomination (which, if she doesn't, I'm moving to Canada), McCain's campaign will be all the stronger for it. Which is maybe what she wants?

Don't Hang Around and Let Your Troubles Surround You, There Are Movie Shows ... Downtown

(Petula Clark, Downtown)

Check out this picture of the tornado that rocked Atlanta 2 weekends ago. The picture itself is pretty amazing (it was sent to the local CBS affiliate by someone who claims to have taken it from the balcony of his high-rise apartment), but just look at that tornado! It almost covers the entirety of downtown Atlanta! Amazing.


It's worth mentioning that the Bank of America Building (the tall building with the yellowish triangular top at the far left of the picture) is less than a mile from the center of the storm, and we live about 7 blocks (farther away) from the Bank of America Building.

I'm Still Asleep But I Can Hear the Piano When You Make Breakfast After 10

(Blue October, Breakfast After 10)

We slept a bit late this morning and then went to check out a new (new to us) brunch spot. The Social House, on Howell Mill, right off I-75. The food was outstanding. Amanda had a turkey and swiss omelet, which was enormous, with a side of grits and a freshly baked biscuit. I debated getting the chicken & waffles, but ultimately decided against it in favor of the Whole Farm Breakfast Sandwich (which I wish I could find a picture of, and forgot to take one). It was 2 fried eggs, 3 sausage patties, bacon strips and gouda cheese (gouda is betta), stacked triple-decker between "slices" of belgian waffle. Oh, man. It was good. I guess it was basically like a McGriddle at McDonalds, but way, way better.

The place was decorated with old-timey newspaper clippings, pictures, books on shelves, even an old bicycle hanging from the ceiling. All in all, a pretty enjoyable experience. They've got a few other menu items I'd like to go back and try, such as the aforementioned chicken & waffles, shrimp and grits (which also includes andouille sausage), and the pan seared ribeye steak & eggs. (The "waffle dog" pictured above is not on the menu, btw. If it was, well, let's just say I'd be able to tell you how it tasted.)

Unfortunately, and this is a major issue for someone with such a pronounced addiction as my own, the coffee absolutely sucks. I even asked for a fresh cup, after taking two sips of my first serving, thinking maybe it was a bad pot or something. No such luck. I couldn't even drink it, I just sipped my water and enjoyed my waffle sandwich. If they would change their coffee, I wouldn't have a bad thing to say about the place. They'd be a solid 9 out of 10 if the coffee wasn't so bad, however, as it stands now, I'd have to give their overall rating somewhere around a 6.5. That's an important factor for me.

Well I'm a Little Down Under But I'm Feeling OK, I Got a Little LOST Along the Way

(Bruce Springsteen, Light of Day)

So many great aspects about this episode. So many that I probably didn't notice them all, especially considering the fact that it's NCAA Tournament time, and I've been worked up into a frenzy all day. Earlier this afternoon, during the Purdue/Baylor game, I was so worked up about it that with about 10 minutes left in the game, every time the score changed, I was running it through Bill James' lead safety calculator (which is AWESOME, by the way, despite the fact that I have no idea why it is even right in the first place), just to see how it changed. I picked Baylor. Baylor lost. I was less than thrilled.

On to more pressing matters.

1. So, one of my big theories, and probably most people's theories, was shot right to hell this week, and I mean faster than Elliot Spitzer's fall from grace. During Michael's flashback, his mother tells him she thought he was dead for two months before he came back. Two months?!?! That's all?!?! I was really hoping that the time elapsing OFF the island was different from the time elapsing ON the island, but that makes me think I'm out of luck. Does anybody else have a different take on that? Any chance it was just a screwup, an oversight by the dialogue writers?? Probably not, I guess, but man. If not, and if the time is the same on the island as off the island, what an unceremonious way to let us know about it. Very disappointing.

(Actually, I just had another thought about this, because it's been bugging me. What if, by following bearing 325 exactly, Michael and Walt were able to pass through the only "portal" that keeps the passage of time between the island and the real world the same. What if the plane crash, the helicopter ride, the rocket experiment by Faraday a few weeks ago, what if all of those things did NOT pass through bearing 325, so their time is still screwed up. What if the Oceanic 6 who get off the island might not pass through it either? Is this making any sense? Basically, it could be that bearing 325 is the only way to get on and off the island without having a time jump. I'm holding onto that, because I really want this time differential thing to play a part in the story. -Updated 3/21/08, 10:55am)

2. I was excited for the return of Michael, but I was ecstatic about the return of Mr. Friendly, at least for this episode. He was a great character, and I was sad to see him get killed off after the failed ambush at the end of last season. Also, I loved the fact that he was gaying it up in his suite at the Hotel Earl. Remember when Kate didn't want to change clothes in front of him back in season 3, and he was like, "Kate, you're not exactly my type." When Michael showed up, I made a joke about having room service deliver some chocolate covered strawberries, but he already had some dude in there with him! Hilarious. (According to his wikipedia page, he only learned his character's beard was fake toward the end of season two, and he's the only Other to appear in all four seasons. Interesting.)

3. You do not want to piss off Sayid Jarrah.

4. Michael seems to be living a Groundhog Day-esque life, now that he's off the island. Nothing he does will kill him. All he needs is for Punxatawney Phil to come out and see his shadow, then things will be back to normal, right? Speaking of Punxatawney Phil, I've got to give my favorite line from Groundhog Day (and one of my favorite Bill Murray lines of all time, delivered with his perfect brand of sarcasm and smugness) right here: This is one time where television really fails to capture the true excitement of a large squirrel predicting the weather. I don't know why, but this completely cracks me up.

5. Captain Gault beats his men to save their lives. I'm no lawyer, but that seems like a violation of their rights. Personally, I think he was just upset that Purdue beat Baylor. And speaking of the Captain, he didnt' seem too surprised when Sayid tattle-taled on Michael, did he? Of course, this being the last new episode for a month, it's gonna be awhile before we find out.

6. Who shot Carl and Rousseau? Was it a setup? Was it Maggie Simpson? Did Ben lead them right there so he could eliminate any other emotional connection Alex had besides his own? And is Alex even safe? Or is she walking right into harm's way by identifying herself as Ben's daughter?? I guess we'll find out in a month.

7. Ben is the bad guy. Widmore is the bad guy. Ben is the bad guy! Widmore is the bad guy! Ben is the bad guy! Widmore is the bad guy! Ben is the bad guy! Widmore is the bad guy! It's rabbit season! It's duck season! Rabbit season! Duck Season! Rabbit season! Rabbit Season! Duck season! Rabbit season! I say it's duck season, and I say fire! What are they doing to us?? I feel like Elmer Fudd, and I'm pretty sure that's not a good thing.

Ready for the Shuffle, Ready for the Deal, Ready to Let Go of the Steering Wheel

(U2, Zoo Station)

There are three chefs on this show with that fauxhawk. Did I miss the memo? Stephanie (last week's winner) says she's a force to be reckoned with, and to prove it, they show her working out with a 5 pound weight. Point taken, Stephanie.

This week's Quickfire Challenge sees the chefs walking to the farmer's market. Padma is looking a little rough, which worries me a bit, as she's one of the things that keeps me captivated by this show. They can only use 5 ingredients from the farmer's market in their dish, which can be whatever they want. The first f-bomb of the evening is dropped by Spike, not Andrew, in the first surprise of the night. New Zealand pays for his ingredients, asks for a receipt, then proceeds to walk out without his bag of food. I'm pretty sure that's going to make it hard for him to cook. Richard was excited that Wiley Dufresne is the guest judge, because he's also a "molecular gastronomist," and to illustrate this, his hair stands straight up. Or, it could just be his ridiculous fauxhawk. Spike drops another f-bomb, and I'm pretty sure I just saw Andrew drawing up a complaint for copyright infringement.

Richard's dish is described as having "not terribly strong eucalyptus." A ringing endorsement. Wiley likes New Zealand's sideburns, despite the fact that he left the market without some of his food. This is nothing if not a credible competition. Andrew f's up by using balsamic after his 5 ingredients. He admits to being a dumbass, but uses no words that start with the letter F. Shockingly, New Zealand wins. Must have been the sideburns.

The Elimination Challenge starts with the obligatory knife draw. Vulture? Bear? What the hell is going on here? Andrew wants Lion (and growls for emphasis), but then seems very excited to draw Penguin. They're catering a private party at the zoo, and they have to base their dishes around the main foods in their animal's diet. Odd, to say the least. New Zealand notices that the vulture's diet is very similar to his own; presumably he hangs out in the desert or along highways, waiting for animals to just drop dead, already! $500 to spend at Whole Foods, which will probably buy each of them a loaf of bread and a bottled water. Spike mentions that he is molesting the produce section. Yikes. Remind me to buy my produce elsewhere. Nikki bought a whole wheel of cheese for one of her dishes, which is awesome! I'm freaking out, I love cheese and have always wanted to buy a big wheel of cheese. Nikki has impressed me two weeks in a row, first with her freshly made pasta, now with her wheel of cheese.

Colleccio shows up in his blue chef's coat, which always cracks me up, because he does absolutely zero cooking. Andrew is making some sort of a glacier, which he's very excited about. It looks nasty to me. Dale thinks Nikki's mushrooms look like turds. Hey, back off, man. She's got a wheel of cheese and she's not afraid to use it. And...utensils down, hands up. See you at the zoo.

Team Bear immediately begins fighting about the turd mushrooms. Nikki wants to use them, but Dale feels like he's putting perfume on a pig. Which, I don't think pigs like very much. Except Miss Piggy. And Petunia Pig. Padma has cleaned up slightly, but she's looking kind of exhausted, and clearly needs to take advantage of all this food in front of her. She brings in Colleccio, Wiley Dufresne, and Gail Simmons, who brings absolutely NOTHING to the table. Richard made a Ras Al Hanout for the second week in a row (I think it was him last week), which shows a lack of originality. His fauxhawk loves the Raz Al Hanout, though, and he can't argue with his fauxhawk. And, thankfully, the turd mushrooms are taken off the table, but not before somebody eats one and is very unhappy about the experience. Unfortunately, they still give them to Colleccio and Dufresne, who seem to wish they hadn't. Team Gorilla made a banana bread, which looks awesome. I'm not seeing any reductions in any of the dishes, which is going to make it hard to choose a winner.

Back at Judges Table (why don't they use an apostrophe?), Padma asks for Team Vulture and Team Penguin. The bird teams are flying high! (Pardon my pun, and yes, I know penguins don't fly.) Andrew is a bit of a spaz when talking about his glacier, but he's just very excited, and he is then chosen as the winner! My boy!! No f-bombs tonight, but there are still a few minutes left in the show. Gorillas and Bears are brought in as the worst teams. The turd mushrooms are cited as one of the 3 worst dishes of the whole evening. Dale admits to putting cheese on them so they didn't look like sh*t, but nobody tasted them after the cheese was added. Lesson: always taste the sh*tty cheese before serving it at the zoo. Gail and Colleccio force Antonia to throw one of her teammates under the bus, and Stephanie (the aforementioned force to be reckoned with) gets saved. I don't know the name of the girl who was left for dead. Hopefully she'll get kicked off so I don't have to learn it. Padma looks a lot more lifelike after eating, which I'm happy about. In the end, it was the blinis that they hated the most, and Valerie must pack her knives and go. (As it happens, Valerie was the one whose name I didn't know.)

Next week: crying and f-bombs. Can't wait.

I Went Down to Houston and I Stopped in San Antone

(Ryan Adams, My Sweet Carolina)

Ok, so my "mascot bracket" post might not have been as funny as I thought while writing it, though in my defense, it all made sense in my mind at the time. But with the NCAA Tournament starting tomorrow, I'm going to go ahead and get my predictions out there. Normally I end up going for the upset picks, and sometimes I nail them, but usually I lose at least one, sometimes as many as three, of my final four teams in the first weekend of the tournament. Hopefully not this year, as I've pretty much stuck with the higher seeds to advance to the later rounds.

East Region
Sweet 16:
1. North Carolina over Arkansas
2. Notre Dame over Washington State
3. Louisville over Oklahoma
4. Tennessee over South Alabama

Final Four - Tennessee over North Carolina. I know, they're playing in Charlotte. I don't care.

Midwest Region
Sweet 16:
1. Kansas over Kent State
2. Vanderbilt over Clemson
3. Wisconsin over USC
4. Georgetown over Davidson

Final Four - Kansas over Georgetown.

South Region
Sweet 16:
1. Memphis over Mississippi State (this will be one of the better games of the tournament)
2. Pittsburgh over Michigan State
3. Stanford over Marquette
4. Texas over St. Mary's

Final Four - Texas over Memphis. Game's in Houston. That's gonna be a huge factor.

West Region
Sweet 16:
1. UCLA over Texas A&M
2. Drake over Connecticut
3. Baylor over Xavier (my only major upset in the entire field)
4. Duke over Arizona

Final Four - UCLA over Duke.

Of course, the idealist in me has a Kansas v. Texas finals, in the rematch to end all rematches. Texas wins in San Antonio, 84-78. Book it.

And the Last Known Survivor Stalks His Prey in the Night

(Survivor, Eye of the Tiger)

Happy St. Patrick's Day, everybody! I'm enjoying my last night of pseudo-bachelorhood by sitting on the couch, drinking a Guinness, and watching episodes of Iron Chef: America that we've got on the DVR. I know, slow down, right? Well, I'm in a great mood, because today is the first day of the best three weeks of the year. Of course, I'm talking about the beginning of the NCAA Tournament, which closes out on the second best sports weekend of the year. The Final Four, the Masters, and baseball's opening weekend. The only thing better than that is this coming weekend, which gives us the first two rounds of March Madness. 32 games on Thursday and Friday, then 16 games on Saturday and Sunday. Pure ecstasy for any basketball fan.

I've got my brackets filled out already, and I'm sure I'll get to some predictions this week before the tournament actually starts, but today at lunch, just for the hell of it, I filled out another set of brackets where I answer the question that I'm sure is burning in all of your minds:

Which mascot would win in a steel-cage match, Thunderdome style, fighting to the death?

TWO MEN ENTER, ONE MAN LEAVE!

Well, you've come to the right place. Let's break this down by region and see what happens.

East Region:
Play-in winners, the Mountaineers are able to outlast the Tar Heels, and the Razorbacks beat the Hoosiers in a really ugly, sloppy game. In our first "human versus human" contest, the Fighting Irish really show their grit in their triple-overtime win against the Patriots. The Cougars beat the Eagles with a few well-timed swipes of the paw, but the Hawks redeem the flying teams by beating the crap out of the Sooners. The Broncos over the Cardinals in a rout, and the Jaguars outscrap the Bulldogs for the win. The Volunteers fall to the Eagles, after having their eyes gouged out by the Eagles' large talons.

In Round Two, the Razorbacks prove too much for the Mountaineers, while the Cougars take advantage of not being stinking drunk in their win over the Fighting Irish, who celebrated a little too much after their first round win. The Broncos win in an upset over the Hawks, and the Jaguars beat the Eagles, defeating also any hope of a flying bird to advance any farther. The Razorbacks winning streak comes to an end at the paws of the Cougars, and the Jaguars prove too much for the Broncos. The Cougars, energized by their win over the Razorbacks, defeat the Jaguars on their way to the Final Four.

Cougars advance.

Midwest Region:
The Vikings care not for the rock-chalk, and defeat the Jayhawks with very little effort in Round One. The Golden Flashes (which just sounds dirty to me) somehow outlast the Runnin' Rebs. The Tigers win a close one over the Wildcats, and the Commodores are able to run over the Saints, who are ill-equipped for a steel-cage match such as this. The Trojans upset the Wildcats, and the Titans have no problem with the pesky Badgers. The Wildcats run away from the Bulldogs, in a game that was close in the first half, and in the "Michael Vick Invitational," the Hoyas avoid electrocution by tearing up the Retrievers.

The Vikings are able to overcome the Golden Flashes in Round Two, by virture of sheer toughness. The Tigers defeat the Commodores in a complete rout, and the Trojans win a close one over the Titans, in only the second "human versus human" matchup of the tournament. The Wildcats beat the Hoyas, who were still too shaken up by the Michael Vick mention in the previous paragraph. The Tigers again assert their physical dominance over man by defeating the Vikings, and the Wildcats have similar results in their win over the Trojans. The Tigers are tough, though, and beat the Wildcats on their way to the Final Four.

Tigers advance.

South Region:
In Round One, the Tigers handily defeat the Mavericks, and the Bulldogs literally devour the Ducks. The Spartans knock off the Owls, and the Panthers and Wildcats both win their matchups with the Golden Eagles. In the first of the "oh, the irony" games, the Big Red have their way with the Cardinal, and in the second, the Hurricanes outblow the Gaels for the victory. The Longhorns exploit the obvious weakness in the Governors, who were really poorly suited for this matchup.

Round Two sees the Tigers tearing up the Bulldogs, and the Panthers rip the Spartans limb from limb. The Wildcats find a way to outlast the Big Red, and the Hurricanes drown the Longhorns, who really don't have the speed they need to keep up in this one. The Tigers win a close one over the Panthers, and the Wildcats are able to "weather the storm" by staying alive against the Hurricanes, but they're left in a weakened state and fall to the Tigers without much of a fight at all.

Tigers advance.

West Region:
In the West Region, things get a little crazy. All three bears in this tournament are in this region, and any one of them probably would have been favored to make the Final Four, if they were coming out of another side of the brackets. Unfortunately for them, both of the devils are in this region as well. Let's see how things turn out.

Not well. The Bruins go down hard to the Delta Devils in the first matchup. It seems these devils are fairly skilled in the dark arts, and are easily able to control the pace of the contest. The Cougars rip the Aggies to shreds, and the Bulldogs "topped" the Hilltoppers. The Huskies defeat the Toreros, and the Boilermakers fall to the Bears, who are glad they didn't have to face any supernatural elements just yet. The Musketeers, channeling Michael Vick and friends, pound the Bulldogs, and the Wildcats win an easy one against the Mountaineers. In what seems to be a trend, the Blue Devils have an easy time with the Bruins, and are looking ahead to their only real challenge in the regional finals.

The Delta Devils and Blue Devils prove too much for their feline opponents, the Cougars and Wildcats, respectively, in this round. The Huskies tear up the Bulldogs, and the Bears celebrate another win by beating the Musketeers. Their joy is short-lived, though, as they fall hard to the Blue Devils in their next game. The Delta Devils toy with the Huskies for awhile, before finally putting them away, setting up the battle royale between the Delta Devils and Blue Devils in the regional finals. This is the game of the tournament (the Texas/Kansas, if you will), and it's pretty evenly matched. In the end, the Delta Devils prevail, due in no small part to their secret weapon and tournament MVP, the soul of blues guitarist Robert Johnson.

Delta Devils advance.

Final Four:
In the Final Four, the Tigers overtake the Cougars in the first game, then the Delta Devils work their dark magic over the Tigers in the second game, only to find themselves head to head with the Tigers again in the finals. As they are masters of the dark arts, they have no problem dispatching the Tigers again to win it all.

This might be the one and only time anyone has or will ever pick the Delta Devils of Mississippi Valley State to win the NCAA Tournament. Congratulations, Delta Devils.

I Make the Bed, I Change the Sheets, I Even Learned How to Use the Washing Machine

(Wilco, Hate It Here)

Amanda left for D.C. yesterday morning, and I am so bored. I mean, I've had a ton of basketball to watch yesterday, and this afternoon, and I've gotten a lot of work done. I also did 3 loads of laundry, went to the grocery store, did the dishes, and I'm actually hoping to iron some shirts. I've also listened to a bunch of new music I picked up from a friend at work, and I'm sure I'll end up posting some of that soon, but man, when she leaves me to my own devices, I either get a lot of stuff done, or I end up eating popcorn and snickers bars for dinner. This weekend, thankfully, it was the former.

Right now I'm watching 3:10 To Yuma, and it's pretty good. I didn't think I was a big fan of westerns, other than Tombstone, and my feelings about Russell Crowe haven't changed in close to a decade. He's a great actor, but why does he have to be such a grumpy son of a bitch all the time? Would it kill him to smile? Ever? Amanda and I saw American Gangster in the theater back in the fall, and that's the first of his movies I've seen in the theater. I will always rent them or watch them on tv, but I had a moratorium on paying for his box office intake, but I lifted it for American Gangster, which I enjoyed. The dude is in some good movies, that's for sure. It's just too bad he's such a douche.

Texas played a hell of a game against Kansas today, but ended up losing the Big XII Tournament. We ultimately scored a 2 seed in the South region, though, which gives us games in Little Rock, Houston, and San Antonio, should we get that far. That's pretty damn awesome, if you ask me. Unfortunately, we play Friday, and I don't think I'll be able to see the first round game.

Ok, I'm done rambling. The rest of this movie's all that stands between me and hitting the sack. Maybe tomorrow I'll get to some of this new music.

Sirens Were Blowing, Clouds Spat Rain

(Drive By Truckers, Tornadoes)

I'm sure everyone already knows this, but we've had some pretty nasty weather here in the ATL over the past 24 hours or so. Last night a freaking tornado touched hit downtown, tearing part of the roof off of the Georgia Dome during the SEC Tournament, in the middle of overtime between Mississippi State and Alabama. State ended up winning the game, after a weather delay of over an hour. For an indoor basketball game.

Amanda and I had no idea what was going on at the time, other than just thunderstorms. We were home watching Michael Clayton (which was awesome, btw), and our power went out for a few minutes, but came back on and we finished the movie, before checking on the game and learning about the tornado.

We were supposed to get more of the same this afternoon, and I was told there were sirens going off up in Woodstock earlier. I decided it probably wasn't a good idea for me to drive up for Stella's birthday party, which I felt bad about, but better safe than sorry. We also heard sirens here in town, after the Texas game was over with. It rained pretty hard a couple times today, but as far as I know, no tornadoes.

I know nobody is turning to "Deep Chrome Canyons" for breaking weather news, or really news of any kind, but I just figured out how to post mp3 files on this here blog, and I figured there probably wouldn't ever be a more appropriate time to post Tornadoes, by the Drive-By Truckers. It's is an awesome song, so if you're interested, give it a listen by clicking on the link above. Whenever possible, I think I'm going to post the song that the title lyric comes from, rather than just citing the song. This is pretty exciting for me. Possibly not so much for you. I'm fine with that.

Hello, I'm Sorry I LOST Myself (I Think I Thought You Were Someone Else)

(R.E.M., Pop Song 89)

Well, well, well. Looky what we have here. Michael on the boat? Check (#4). Sun off the island without Jin? Check (#7). I even called the flash-forward for Sun and flash-back for Jin last night about five minutes into the episode, the first time Jin was in the store buying the ginormous panda (why did he pay so much for that thing when all he had to do was knock down three bowling pins with a softball?), but only Amanda and Hannah can attest to that, so on their behalf, I'm going to have to say, Check. In the immortal words of Chucky, Ben Affleck's character from Good Will Hunting,

"Just cause I go to Haavaad doesn't make me a genius, although I am very smaaat."

I thought last night's episode was really good, and really sad. I don't like knowing that Jin dies sometime in the future. Looks like all those English lessons are going to end up to be an enormous waste of time. Too soon?

1. Did anybody notice the tv show that Sun was watching in the very beginning of the episode? I'm pretty sure it was that old soap opera that Nikki was on, during her flashback episode last season.

2. Jin's tombstone said 2004. This means he dies very soon. Possibly next week, which I'm not thrilled about. Bear with me. Two weeks ago, Desmond called Penny from the boat. It was Christmas Eve, 2004. The calendar on the boat was also on December 2004. I still don't think that's the real date on the island, but they may never find out (which means we may never find out) what the real date on the island is. (Maybe it's years in the past, and Ben made $3.2 million betting on the Sox to win the 2004 World Series in Vegas.) Either way, Jin dies in 2004. I didn't think about it at the time, but Hannah noticed the date last night and said it out loud. This is the last time I mention Hannah in this post.

3. Hurley in Korea? So, if Sun was two months pregnant last night and has to get off the island in three weeks before the "complications" start, then it would stand to reason that last night's flash-forward happened about 6-7 months after they get off the island (and time starts moving at a normal pace again). Now, does Hurley go crazy after this, or has he already gone on his camaro joyride, avoiding the ghost of Charlie like the plague? I would imagine that his trip to Korea was after his freakout, because he was relieved that nobody else was going to be there in Korea, but I'm not really sure about this.

4. When that note was pushed through the slats of the door to Sayid and Desmond's holding cell, I was hoping it would say something like, "Sayid, are you still mad at me? Check yes or no. Michael." Glad he's back, but everybody on that boat is some kind of creepy, possibly brought on by eating so many lima beans. I never liked them either.

5. Captain Ahab, or whatever his name is, telling them about Charles Widmore? I was expecting more of an outburst from Desmond on that one. Seriously, if I were stranded on an island for 3 years, narrowly escaping death on multiple occasions, suffering nosebleeds due to my occasional time travel, and looking like the lost member of the Bee Gees (though in my case, I'd probably look like the lost member of the rabbis who wrote the mishnah), and somebody made me eat lima beans for two days, then told me Charlie Abrams had something to do with the whole thing, let's just say that I'd be doing a little of the old freaking out. In fact, I'm a little pissed at him just thinking about it.

6. And, in closing, let me express my extreme disappointment in the writers and producers of this great show. Juliet, in her haste to be a good doctor, taking care of her patient at all costs, totally goes rogue and shatters the doctor/patient confidentiality to pieces by telling Jin about Sun's affair with the guy who looked like E.T. And they're on an island, where it rains all the time, so there's got to be plenty of mud around. See where I'm going with this? And all we get is a slap on the face? Come ON, Sun! Take her down! Show her what you're made of, your daddy's a MOB BOSS, for crying out loud! I can't even count the number of times we've seen two girls in a knock down, drag-out fight on this show. Last week, Juliet and Charlotte Staples Lewis were smacking each other with fire hydrants in the Tempest Station. Even Kate and Juliet were at each others throats in the rain last season while handcuffed together!! We couldn't even get past a slap on the face for this one??

7. Yikes, I almost forgot! The discussion about the wreckage being staged! Holy cow. I didn't think about the fact that 324 dead bodies would be needed for that. Amazing. But we've seen that before, in Daniel Faraday's flashback/flashforward, which until last night we didn't know was actually a flashback. It could have been either, but now we know. And he was crying and didn't know why, but now, with what we know about his possible time-jumps, maybe he was going a little crazy, a-la Minkowski, back in his recliner, covered with the blanket, in that flashback. And since he hadn't been to the island yet at that point (though he would go there in the future), he hadn't yet met Desmond, who would be his constant. Maybe that's why he was all upset and couldn't figure out why?

8. Man, I keep forgetting things I wanted to say and updating it after I publish. Sorry, if anybody read this and didn't get these last 2 (or 3?) items. I loved Bernard and Jin's little fishing trip. It was like Tim "the Tool Man" Taylor having family problems on Home Improvement, then talking to Wilson about it. Bernard's Wilson, in this analogy, in case anyone didn't pick up on that. Anyway, it was a very heartfelt scene, and I am doing my best to ruin the sentiment with my snarky comments. It's what I do.

9. What kind of "errand" is Lapidis running with the helicopter? Possibly on his way to Costco for another 1,000 cans of lima beans.

(PS - Thanks to Seth for the picture of Jin's tombstone.)

Cutting Up Tomatoes, Fruits and Vegetables and Potatoes

(R. Kelly, Sex in the Kitchen)

I'm very excited about the return of Top Chef, so I'm going to do this one as it happens. Live-blogging, if you will, only, not really, since I'm going to have to go through and add pictures, links, etc., after it's over. They won't all be this long, let's hope.



Early thoughts: Nimma - ATL contestant #1. I think I read there are 3 from Atlanta this season. LOTS of San Francisco contestants. Andrew. I like him. Drops a lot of f-bombs. Richard - ATL contestant number 2. Zoi and Jennifer actually know each other in San Francisco, and are a couple. And they're both contestants? That's a little rough. And they're all excited to be having lunch in a Pizzeria Uno? Either way, I'm very excited to have Padma Lakshmi back in my life.

Quickfire right away, and we haven't even met them all yet. Signature deep-dish pizza. Manuel is a sous-chef at Dos Caminos in New York. That place rocks! Amazing ceviche and guacamole. When someone else is paying. If I were making a deep dish pizza, I'd have to work in some avocado. Is that gross? Avocado on a pizza? Sounds awesome to me. Deep dish pizza with smoked chicken, avocado, brie, and a bit of spicy honey mustard. I might have to do a little experimenting this weekend in the kitchen.

Drama in the first 12 minutes. Richard stole my boy Andrew's deep dish pan, and he dropped like 3 f-bombs while discussing it. Shades of Ilan/Marcel from Season 2? Beautiful.

Pizzas are being delivered to Rocco DiSpirito. He's hanging out shooting pool with Padma. Lucky bastard. Richard rocks some peaches and sweet tea syrup on his pizza, working in his ATL roots. A little weird, if you ask me. Rocco didn't dig Nimma's pizza, which looked like it had about 37 pounds of mushrooms on it. He loved Richard's peaches and sweet tea pizza, though, which sort of blows my mind. Andrew then dropped 19 more f-bombs. He's for sure my favorite. Nimma says she's not here to have fun, which seems about right, because listening to her sort of makes me feel like I'm listening to an NPR radio host read sections of the encyclopedia.

Elimination Challenge: head to head contests involving classic dishes, such as crab cakes and duck a l'orange. Classic? Richard picks Andrew to cook against, and he shocks me by dropping 3 f-bombs right out of the gate. Bravo is all about drama and f-bombs. Amanda thinks Andrew's going to get kicked off this episode because they're focusing on him a lot. Man, I hope not. There are f-bombs to be dropped!

These people do a reduction on every single meal. It's amazing. I need to start doing more reductions. Nikki, after shopping with her sunglasses on the whole time she was in whole foods, is endeavoring to make fresh pasta for her lasagna. Impressive. I hope it works out for her, time-wise. Andrew can't find mayonnaise, and, you guessed it. This guy basically talks just like me. Seriously, if I still had a swear-jar, I would be dead-ass broke. I'm fairly dead-ass broke now, though, so I guess it's 6 of one, half dozen of the other.

Utensils down, hands up! Anthony Bourdain walks in with Rocco, Padma, and Tom Colleccio, who's supposedly opening a place here in the ATL. Maybe I'll have to incorporate a swear-jar so I can save up enough to eat there, because you know that place ain't going to be cheap. I like the New Zealand guy, but he's getting shredded by Bourdain, who likes Stephanie's reduction. Reduction! Always do a reduction, if not, you're just screwing yourself. Andrew added some cilantro-basil pudding to his crab cake. Somewhere, Bill Cosby is thrilled. Andrew lost this round to Richard, and to everyone's surprise, he keeps it clean. His dish was good though, Colleccio liked it, so he'll probably live to see week 2. They all liked Nikki's pasta, and seem impressed that she made it herself. As was I. Nimma made a cauliflower sauce, but used far too much salt, and loses unanimously. Ironic, since her pizza was criticized for not having any salt. Lisa used some toasted challah bread, which Bravo inexplicably decided to spell as "halla" bread. HOLLA!! She wins. Awesome. Manuel, of Dos Caminos where I love the ceviche, made ceviche! Unfortunately, he lost his contest. Rocco needs more butter in Ryan's piccata, Bourdain hates the bread crumbs. Tough crowd.

Padma asks for Antonia, Nikki, Richard, and Stephanie. They're the "most favorite" in this challenge. I hope Nikki wins. Rocco tells us that I'm wrong. Stephanie wins the first week. You know why? Because she made a reduction! She was the only one this week who made a reduction, and she won. It's a simple formula, people! Ryan, Eric, Nimma, and New Zealand guy whose name I can't remember. Whew! That means Andrew is f'ing safe, baby! F-yeah! Nimma admits to bad judgment, and also to being on massive amounts of sedatives. Half the judges just fell asleep while she was talking. New Zealand's dish, Bourdain says, was silly and pretentious. Like every show on Bravo, maybe? Whatever, it's not going to keep me from watching, that's for sure. Rocco says Ryan's gnocchi wasn't the only thing that was dense. Yikes.

Hammer time. These four are getting absolutely killed by Colleccio. Nimma is a goner. She promises not to stop cooking. Unfortunately, no one heard her because they all fell asleep halfway through the sentence. Looks like it's going to be a pretty good season. Lots of f-bombs in the previews. And some cooking, I guess.

Won't You Let Me Make You a Deal? (Just Get Behind the Wheel.)

(Wilco, Passenger Side)

Went to two birthday parties on Saturday. The second was a joint birthday party for Amanda, Marci and Sarah. Lots of fun, and thanks to daylight savings time, we didn't get home until 4am. We'd had a few, and we didn't want to shell out for a cab, so we called Zingo. This was pretty awesome. I'd heard about it before but never taken it. They send someone to wherever you are, on a little Italian scooter that the guy folds up and sticks in your trunk. Then he drives you home in your own car, and takes off again on his scooter. After you pay him. All in all, a great service, especially since your car is at your house when you wake up, instead of having to go get it the next morning.

The afternoon party was the first first-birthday party I think I've ever been to. It was adorable. Just a bunch of babies all over the place. I was afraid to step anywhere. This kid is just adorable though. Spencer and Lani are good friends of mine, and I'd certainly never steal a baby, but if I did, Shira's the leading candidate. I mean, come ON! How cute is this??

A Hustle Here and a Hustle There, New York City's the Place Where They Say Hey, Babe, Take a Walk on the Wild Side

(Lou Reed, Walk on the Wild Side)

This is stunning news, and if you're hearing this for the first time here, I would strongly reconsider where you turn for up to the minute news (along with maybe a few other life choices), but New York Governor Elliot Spitzer has been linked to a prostitution ring!! I was standing in line at the bank when I saw it on CNN, and my first thought was, "Isn't he a Hillary supporter? Maybe there will be some level of fallout for her campaign over this."

The irony is literally (not literally) dripping off of this situation, considering the following:

In one such case in 2004, Mr. Spitzer spoke with revulsion and anger after announcing the arrest of 16 people for operating a high-end prostitution ring out of Staten Island.

”This was a sophisticated and lucrative operation with
a multitiered management structure,” Mr. Spitzer said at the time. ”It was,
however, nothing more than a prostitution ring.”

Not to be outdone, Mississippi Governor Haley Barbour has admitted to being intimately involved with an order of onion rings.

Phone My Family, Tell Them I'm LOST on the Sidewalk

(Wilco, Kamera)

Well, I didn't think I had too much to say about last night's Juliet episode, but I guess I do.

1. Ben sure is a creep, huh? "You're mine!" They should have taken that even further, like when Juliet came over for the dinner party, instead of opera, he should have been playing Michael Jackson & Paul McCartney's "The Girl Is Mine" on repeat on the stereo. And what about him sending Goodwin off to probable death, just to get him out of the picture! Very King David of him.

2. Where did Ben get that footage of Mr. Widmore (aka Caleb Nichol) beating the crap out of some dude in an airplane hangar? It would have been awesome of they had used old footage of him from The OC for that scene. I probably would have crapped my pants. I considered it just thinking about it.

3. Speaking of crapped pants, I mean, speaking of Ben having the videotape of Mr. Widmore, it was on the tape marked "Red Sox." Are we to assume that footage of Mr. Widmore was taken AFTER Ben showed Jack the footage of the Red Sox winning the 2004 World Series (after stunning the Yankees to come back from 3 games down, no less!)? If so, that means it's fresh footage, and would have been obtained sometime after that, but before Ben became Locke's prisoner again, which seems to be roughly a three-week window, notwithstanding any time-shift issues. Of course, it could be that Ben is just a huge Red Sox fan and has an overabundance of "Red Sox" labelled videotape, or that he labels all of his videotapes that way, in case anybody finds his porn collection. Anything's possible.

4. Harper, the therapist. Goodwin's wife. Did they get married because neither of them had a proper first name? They were probably making a list of possible baby names including Miller, Jones, Smith, McKenzie (in case they had a girl), and the like. And what happened (other than Juliet sleeping with her husband repeatedly, leading ultimately to his death) to turn Harper from a normal looking and sounding person in the therapy sessions to some sort of terminator-type robotic-voiced woman standing in the rain talking to Juliet in the beginning of the episode? Speaking of, how did she disappear so quickly? Are the Others all ninjas?

5. I say again, Michael is Ben's man on the boat. Bank on it. I was hoping we'd get that news last night, but I can wait another week.

6. Not sure what to think about Faraday and Charlotte Staples Lewis disarming the nuclear gas leak, or whatever that thing was, in the Tempest station. It seems like there's no other explanation for what they were doing, since once they were done, things stabilized and the warning sirens stopped going off. But here's the thing. They claim that the gas is Ben's personal stash of WMD's, basically, and it clearly looked like some bad mojo was about to happen until they stopped it. But if that was the case, who set it off in the first place? Ben, or someone who works for him? And if THAT is the case, then why did Harper warn Juliet about where they were going, since Harper is still clearly on Ben's side? Is it possible they really were trying to set it off and kill everyone on the island, and they had to stop at the last minute because Juliet showed up and went Superfly on both of them, ripping off their gasmasks so they'd be exposed as well? It seems like they'd probably still have gone through with it, if that was their intention, so I'm sort of confused on this part.

7. The preview for next week says we will meet "the LAST member of the Oceanic 6." That means that we've either got the first 5 already, or they're going to give us both 5 and 6 next week. I think, based on that, we've got the first 5, then, otherwise, they would have said something like "the last 2 members of the Oceanic 6." I could be wrong, it's just what I think. If that is the case, and we know Jack, Kate, Hurley and Sayid are in, that leaves only Ben and Aaron as possibilities, since those are the only other people we've seen off the island in the future (aside from Charlie's ghost). I don't like either of them as part of the group, because neither of them were on the plane, but if that's what we've got, then I think it's got to be Aaron. Either way, as far as what we're getting next week, my money's on Sun. Without Jin.

Feel free to leave comments below, let me know if you think I'm insane, or just disturbingly obsessed.

'Cause London Is Drowning (and I ... Live By the River)

(The Clash, London Calling)

Man. Last night, before watching the finale of Project Runway (say what you will, but it's a damn good reality show, which is pretty much all that's on right now), Amanda and I watched Eastern Promises. I'd heard it was a pretty good movie, plus there was the Best Actor nomination for Viggo Mortenson, so we decided to give it a shot. It's basically the story of some Russian mobsters who do some nasty, nasty things, and the hot fiesty blond doctor who's not afraid of them, played by Naomi Watts. Honestly, I'd see just about anything that she's in. (I even saw King Kong, but I probably couldn't sit through it again.) She's not really a bad actress at all, when she's not playing opposite ginormous monkeys.

So, anyway, these Russkies (who conveniently live in London, thereby giving them a reason to speak English for most of the movie), they're really bad dudes (dey will spleash de pot venever de fack dey pleezze), except for, you guessed it, Viggo, who's just sort of a bad dude (after having sex with an underage prostitute in front of another guy who just stands there and watches, he discreetly gives her some money so she can leave town and avoid the unpleasantries which are certain to befall her otherwise - what a sweetheart!). Turns out he's also quite a badass who, while being attacked by 2 Chechenyans in a bath house, manages to disgustingly break some of their bones before slicing them up with their own blades, after being sliced a few times himself, and all the while, with his wang hanging out. Could have done without the wang, but the rest of it was pretty cool.

If you can get past the rather realistic gore and violence, I'd say you should definitely see this movie. Honestly, it was a great story, unlike, say, A History of Violence, which also starred Viggo and was also directed by David Cronenberg. (That one was pretty slow, boring even, with a rather ironic lack of any violence until it was too late for me to care anymore. Actually, I remember leaving the theater with friends and saying that the movie should probably have started where it ended, that it would have been a much better story that way.) Eastern Promises was, in a disturbing, need a shower, sort of way, a really great movie. If you're a fan of a good story, Russian mobsters, ultra violence, Naomi Watts, or bath house wang, then check it out.

You and I and Moonlight in Vermont

(Ray Charles, Moonlight in Vermont)

Lot of drama going on right now with the Texas and Ohio primaries. Let's hope Obama pulls ahead in Texas, his lead right now has slimmed considerably. It's great that the race is so close between Obama and Clinton, because it's definitely drumming up more interest in the elections, but with McCain having already wrapped up the Republican nomination, the Democratic Party is going to have a lot of catching up to do, no matter who comes out ahead. But, like I said, let's hope it's Obama.

Anyway, if there's a bright spot in tonight's hotly contested elections, it's got to be this: according to The New York Times,

7:55 p.m. Oh, Vermont! The Associated Press also reports that voters in two Vermont towns approved symbolic measures Tuesday calling for the indictment of President Bush and Vice President Dick Cheney for what they consider violations of the Constitution. The measures seek to have police arrest Mr. Bush and Mr. Cheney if they ever visit Brattleboro or nearby Marlboro.

Not sure of the likelihood that either will be cruising downtown Brat anytime soon, but now you know where the Green Mountaineers are coming from.

That is pretty awesome, Vermont. In addition to Phish and Ben & Jerry's, you've got some pretty funny lawmakers.