'Cause London Is Drowning (and I ... Live By the River)

(The Clash, London Calling)

Man. Last night, before watching the finale of Project Runway (say what you will, but it's a damn good reality show, which is pretty much all that's on right now), Amanda and I watched Eastern Promises. I'd heard it was a pretty good movie, plus there was the Best Actor nomination for Viggo Mortenson, so we decided to give it a shot. It's basically the story of some Russian mobsters who do some nasty, nasty things, and the hot fiesty blond doctor who's not afraid of them, played by Naomi Watts. Honestly, I'd see just about anything that she's in. (I even saw King Kong, but I probably couldn't sit through it again.) She's not really a bad actress at all, when she's not playing opposite ginormous monkeys.

So, anyway, these Russkies (who conveniently live in London, thereby giving them a reason to speak English for most of the movie), they're really bad dudes (dey will spleash de pot venever de fack dey pleezze), except for, you guessed it, Viggo, who's just sort of a bad dude (after having sex with an underage prostitute in front of another guy who just stands there and watches, he discreetly gives her some money so she can leave town and avoid the unpleasantries which are certain to befall her otherwise - what a sweetheart!). Turns out he's also quite a badass who, while being attacked by 2 Chechenyans in a bath house, manages to disgustingly break some of their bones before slicing them up with their own blades, after being sliced a few times himself, and all the while, with his wang hanging out. Could have done without the wang, but the rest of it was pretty cool.

If you can get past the rather realistic gore and violence, I'd say you should definitely see this movie. Honestly, it was a great story, unlike, say, A History of Violence, which also starred Viggo and was also directed by David Cronenberg. (That one was pretty slow, boring even, with a rather ironic lack of any violence until it was too late for me to care anymore. Actually, I remember leaving the theater with friends and saying that the movie should probably have started where it ended, that it would have been a much better story that way.) Eastern Promises was, in a disturbing, need a shower, sort of way, a really great movie. If you're a fan of a good story, Russian mobsters, ultra violence, Naomi Watts, or bath house wang, then check it out.